Wonderchild
by AdamPascalFan
Summary: 13 years into the future, Kurt and Matt surprise everyone with the adoption of their daughter.  How exactly does one grow up a Rutherford-Hummel?
1. Chapter 1

**Ok so this is a lovely little co-writing attempt by me and Spookykat. We had way too much fun one night coming up with the future of our beloved Glee club and well since we both love Matt/Kurt...of course we had to know how their family turned out! So here we go! All you really need to know is it's 13 years in the future and while you don't have to read I'm Not that Boy to understand it...Leah will make an appearance. We good? good! Enjoy!**

As far as Burt Hummel was concerned, morning was the best time of day. The usual frantic pace of the shop could be forgotten and he could just enjoy this time with his wife before life had the nerve to interrupt them. He smiled as Carole busied herself around the kitchen getting breakfast ready. Thirteen years of marriage and she still hummed around the house the same way she had the day she moved in. Catching him looking at her from over the top of his paper, she shot him a wink as she moved towards the archway separating the kitchen from the rest of the house.

"JoBeth!" She yelled out. "Get a move on or you'll be late!"

"Coming Mom!" The disembodied sound of his daughter's voice carried down to them in much the same manner her brothers' had years ago that seemed like only yesterday.

Neither he nor Carole had ever given any thought of having any more children other than their boys. Truth be told, they knew they had their hands full with Kurt and Finn alone. To say JoBeth's arrival was a shock would be only slightly the understatement of the century. But the second she was put in his arms, he couldn't imagine life without her any more than he could imagine life without his boys.

Of course both of them would roll their eyes if they ever heard him referring to them as boys. Both Finn and Kurt had long since left the small house in Lima for bigger and better things. They were men, living their own lives with their own families, chasing their own dreams. Exactly the way it should be. Didn't mean he didn't miss them or wish they lived closer.

Folding his paper in half, he caught Carole's eye and smiled. "What do you think about going up to see Finn and the kids this weekend?"

Her brown eyes sparkled at his idea but her answer was lost for all time as their daughter's frantic scream neared them. "MOM! DAD!"

She tore into the kitchen, a blur of gangly legs and messy hair that no matter how hard Kurt tried no product could keep under control and nearly slid into the wall. "Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!"

"JoBeth? What in the world? Are you hurt sweetie?" Carole flew to her daughter, her hands and trained maternal eye looking for any sign of injury.

"What? No. No. I'm fine." She tossed her hand up in a way that had always reminded Burt of Kurt. "Why did you all not tell me this?"

"Tell you what?" Burt asked suspiciously.

"I know how Kurt loves a dramatic surprise and all but really you all could have given me _some_ warning." She continued at a speed only known to teenage girls.

Carole reached out and put her hands on JoBeth's shoulders to get her to stop and look at her. "Joanna Elizabeth Hummel. What are you talking about and why exactly did you scream like that? You scared us to death."

Looking back and forth at her parents, as if seeing them for the first time, it finally seemed to dawn on her no one had any idea what she was talking about. With a sigh she looked down at the phone still clutched in her hand. "Of course he's a moron and sends it to your phone." She groaned almost to herself. "Way to miss the point you almost never have them Kurt."

"Jo." Burt stood up and moved closer to her. "What are you talking about and what does this have to do with Kurt?"

With a look to the ceiling she handed her phone over to her father. "He just sent this message."

With Carole looking over his shoulder, the scanned the message title "Look Who Just Arrived." Sharing a confused look with his wife, Burt scrolled down and felt his eyes widen as the picture came into view on the tiny screen. There, in the sharpest picture a camera phone could provide, was the truly confusing image of Kurt holding a tiny bundle wrapped in a pink blanket.

Seeing her parents' face drain of all color, JoBeth looked at them sheepishly. "If it helps? I thought it was going to be about a dog."

* * *

"Five minutes" Matt chuckled as their phone came to life. "They're late."

Kurt chucked a nearby dish towel at his partner, careful to avoid the squirming bundle in Matt's arms. "I'll remember your support when it's your sister calling."

"Leah doesn't call. She'll just show up. Nice try. Better answer that. Otherwise your dad is going to freak out. And that's not pleasant." Matt adjusted the newest member of their family to his shoulder as he passed Kurt in the doorway, pausing to kiss Kurt briefly. "Be nice to him. You did just shock them."

Kurt scrunched up his nose as Matt laughed at him. With a sigh he picked up the phone, trilling out cheerfully "Hello!"

"You are soooo dead." His sister's voice whispered over the line before their father's cut her off.

"Kurt?"

"Hey Dad. Thought you had to open the garage?"

"Noah can handle that." Burt dismissed outright. "Why am I looking at a picture of you holding a baby?"

"You got that? I was worried cause it's a new phone and Matt's not gotten the hang of it yet…."

"Kurt. What's going on?"

"I guess the only thing to say here is congratulations Grandpa it's a girl?"

He could hear his father swallow heavily and somewhere in the background he could hear Carole and his sister gasp. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Kurt leaned his hip against the kitchen counter. "There was no guarantee this would work out or that there wouldn't be some near misses. We didn't want to get everyone's hopes up just to disappoint them time and again. It just seemed better to wait until everything was finalized."

Even though Lima was hundreds of miles away, Kurt could still see his father close his eyes and nod his head, the way he always did when he was too overcome with emotion to actually speak. Somehow Kurt was willing to bet his father had already guessed there had been more than one disappointment before this phone call. Muffled in the background, he could hear JoBeth's voice asking something. When his father came back to the line all he asked was one question. "What's her name?"

"Bethany Justine." Kurt paused for a minute before rushing out the last part. "Bethany Justine Rutherford."

"We'll be on the next plane to see you all."

"Dad. You really don't have to do…."

"We'll be on the next plane." Burt cut him off with a tone Kurt learned long ago not to argue with.

"I'll guess we'll see you soon then."


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt never thought he'd be saying that a girl had won his heart, but little Bethany Justine had him at hello.

It had been a long, hard road to get her home. They'd begun their first adoption process over four years ago, and Kurt immediately began transforming the spare room into their future baby's room. Soon, though, he realized that their decision to keep it a secret until everything was finalized turned out to be a good idea, because three times, Kurt and Matt thought that room was going to be filled, and three times, those dreams were yanked out of their arms and they could do nothing but let those would-be children slip through their fingers before one adoption, at long last, was seen through to the end.

He and Matt went back and forth on what to name her. Bethany was Kurt's insistence (a name that, although he'd never admit it, was inspired by the long-cancelled Bravo show _Real Housewives of New York_, but Matt remembered suffering through marathons of it during their high school days, and of course, knew EXACTLY where his partner had gotten the idea). Justine was Matt's favorite grandmother's name, so the first and middle names weren't much of a battle, but nothing was so fiercely contested quite as much as the all-important last name.

They finally came to a compromise and agreed it would be hyphenated, but after spelling his own last name for the tenth time for the insurance company and repeating until he was blue in the face: 'No, it's NOT Humm_er_, like the gas-guzzler they stopped making five years ago, it's Hummel…with an 'L'. HummELLE. No, no, no…not two 'l's, one…no…two 'm's…H-u-m-m-e-l," he finally relented and agreed to go with Rutherford. It was much simpler that way.

After all, he knew his baby girl's life was going to be complicated enough having two daddies, even in the year 2023. Even though laws had changed a bit since his high school days, people had not, and he and Matt had been victims of close-mindedness their whole lives together. Not from the people that mattered, of course, but still, he'd be lying if he said it was never an issue, even in a somewhat progressive city such as Chicago. Having to deal with constantly repeating her last name when she got older was at least one thing he could do to make her life less painful.

But as far as Kurt was concerned, to hell with the rest of the world. She was absolute perfection. Her face was scrunched up and her mouth seemed to be the biggest part of her as far as he could tell. During the last adoption process, Matt and Kurt got to know the mother, a fourteen-year-old Matt had met through his work as a Psychologist. He'd never even seen a picture of her biological father. He knew the red hair had to come from him, though, because the mother's hair was blonde.

But everything else? He had no clue where she got her features, but it didn't matter. He was sure those would be questions he'd be unable to answer when she got older, but as far as he was concerned, for right now, it didn't matter where she came from. She was his, and that's all that counted.

Kurt might have been a little biased, but she really was the most beautiful baby he'd ever seen, and that was saying a lot, because he generally thought babies were ugly. That's what he thought when his little half-sister JoBeth came into the world at the end of his junior year of high school.

The announcement he got thirteen years ago that a new sibling was on the way was pretty much the surprise of the century. Carole and Burt were set to get married a week before their junior year began, but everyone was concerned that the nuptials might be postponed when Carole started feeling…well, not sick, exactly….but not well, either. She'd been bloated, rundown, and nauseous. Although she tried to convince Burt it was probably the on-set of menopause, Burt insisted she went to the doctor. Two days before nuptials took place, the results came back: she was six weeks pregnant. To which Carole had joked: "I bet I'm the only bride at a shotgun wedding who mistook menopause symptoms for pregnancy ones."

The idea of having SOMEONE ELSE to have to share his dad with, and now Carole and Finn whom he'd just gotten used to the idea of including them as family was overwhelming at first, but now he couldn't imagine life without his baby sister, and he was thrilled that Matt was out picking her up along with their parents at the airport. He needed them there to share this moment with. The only thing that would've made it better was if his mother was still alive to meet her, but the pang of regret only lasted a moment. For now, though, he chose to revel in the feel of the soft, pink blanket she was wrapped in and the grip of her tiny hand around his index finger and the smell of her newly-shampooed hair.

Mostly, he was glad to have some alone-time with his little girl. She took his breath away, and she scared him to death at the same time. He'd never been responsible for anything so small, and she was so perfect he was afraid he'd ruin her.

Her eyes were the color of the Caribbean Ocean, although Matt had been gone almost half an hour before she opened them enough for Kurt to discover that. She had ten tiny little toes accompanied by ten tiny little fingers. Her face was too red to tell whether or not she had good skin, but there was a tuff of strawberry blonde hair on the top of her head that he'd already tried to treat with relaxer cream once, but it stubbornly remained unmanageable.

Before he left for the airport, Matt insisted on giving their little girl her first bath after that, and demanded that she not be subjected to hair products until she was at least fifteen.

"Kurt!" Matt's voice boomed from behind the door, breaking the silence.

"Oh, honey!" Carole cooed as soon as she entered, scooping her new granddaughter up in her arms, "she's absolutely beautiful."

"Finn called," Burt said, unable to take his eyes off the bundle in his wife's arms. "It'll land around 4:30, so he'll be here right behind us. Puck was about to jump on the plane with us this morning, but SOMEONE in the garage had to go to work today, and I had a lovely lady I needed to be introduced to," he explained, putting his arm around his wife so he could get a better look at his new granddaughter.

"That's awesome!" Kurt said, genuinely thrilled to have his whole family there. "What about Courtney and the kids?"

"The boys had a soccer match this weekend, so Courtney stayed behind with them."

With six kids (two of the youngest being twin girls), Kurt secretly was kind of glad that his step-brother's entire brood wasn't going to descend upon their tiny apartment.

"Oh my God, Kurt, oh MY GOD!" his baby sister squealed, giving him and Matt a hug. "I still can't believe it. You and Matt couldn't even keep a cactus alive. And now you've got a baby? I believe I can speak for us all when I say…WHAT? Just…WHAT? And THEN you didn't even have the decency to let us IN on this plan of yours? You know, Dad's not exactly a spring chicken anymore, you could've given him a heart attack!"

"That was only because Leah's cat peed all over it," Matt protested, taking the infant from a reluctant Carole. "So that was the cat's fault more than either one of us. Speaking of," Matt said, making a face, "I think she needs to be changed."

Carole scooped her back up. "Oh, let me do it Matt. I miss changing babies!"

"Because yes, smelly diapers are SOOOO sentimental," JoBeth quipped.

"Hey, Jo, try to keep your volume down in front of the baby," Burt said, "I'm sure Kurt and Matt would appreciate it if their new addition still had her hearing in tact by the time she starts high school." And then he turned to Kurt, clapping him on the shoulder and then pulling him into a warm hug. "Congrats, kiddo."

"You realize what this means, don't you?" Burt said with a sly grin.

"That I'm going to have to create a new kid-appropriate Broadway show playlist?"

"Sport, you've got a LOT to learn…it ain't about playlists. It ain't about hair creams, and God knows it ain't about football or whatever the hell else she'll get into when she's older. Yes, Matt told us about your attempt earlier today before he left for the airport. She's gonna be who she is, and you've just gotta let her be."

"I know, Dad, I know…

"What this REALLY means is that you and Matt better plan on racking up Frequent Flyer Miles, because if you think I'm missing out on my granddaughter, you've got another thing comin'"

"Oh, don't worry, we'll visit you guys as much as we can," Matt insisted.

"Yeah, I know what THAT means…" JoBeth said, catching the tail end of their conversation.

Kurt didn't have a chance to reply before the phone buzzed with another message.

"Hey, Matt, it's Quinn," Kurt announced.

"Tell her hello for us," Carole said, handing the baby over to Burt, but Kurt was already on the phone.

"Yeah, Mom, Dad and Jo say hi. Yeah, they're already here. Oh come on, like they WOULDN'T be on the first flight out after they got the news. You called it…"

"You called it?" JoBeth echoed. "She KNEW? QUINN, YOU KNEW?" She shouted out loud enough for her honorary aunt to hear. "Seriously, Kurt, how could Quinn be in on it and not ME? SOOO unfair!"

But Kurt waved her off, continuing the conversation. "I know, I know…sending the notice out through facebook is lame, but what did you expect?"

"Facebook?" Burt echoed.

And then to his Dad: "What? Nobody sends birth notices anymore," before returning to his conversation with Quinn. "Yeah…I don't think they've been this surprised in thirteen years," he said, giving JoBeth an evil glare. "Finn's coming at 4:30. No, Courtney and the kids aren't coming. Yeah, I kinda am. She's absolutely perfect, Quinn. Seriously…" he waved a hand at his partner as Matt mouthed 'let me talk to her,' "I was right about the animal print in the lobby, wasn't I?"

"Animal print?" Carole echoed, raising an eyebrow. "Well, I guess it IS a lawyer's office, after all…"

"Ok…ok…" Kurt continued, giving his stepmother a roll of the eyes. "…tell Michael hello from us. Matt wants to talk…" he said, handing the phone over to Matt.

It was then that he noticed three pairs of eyes trained on him.

"Quinn knew?" JoBeth repeated. "Quinn knew I was going to be an aunt and you couldn't tell us?"

"Well, yeah, she kinda had to know. She's our attorney. She was the one helping us with the adoption proceedings."

"But I thought she was a divorce attorney?" Carole asked.

"She is, but we asked her for help and she called in some favors from friends of hers who worked in the field. We might've not even brought HER home if Quinn hadn't helped."

If Kurt were being completely accurate, he would've told them Matt had asked her for help after the first adoption fell through. For a month after the first failed adoption attempt, Matt had trouble convincing Kurt to get out of bed, get dressed and go to work in the morning.

"_Quinn, I don't know what to do, here. I was really hoping you knew a lawyer who could help us," Matt had said over the phone. "Or at the very least, maybe help me bring him out of this funk? I mean, we all know how he loves a project. Maybe he can decorate your law office or something?"_

"_I do know a lawyer who could help you as a matter of fact," Quinn had replied. "She's a shark. She's gorgeous. She's also brilliant. And she'll be on the next flight out to Chicago to make things happen."_

"_What's her name?"_

"_Oh my GOD, Matt…it's ME you idiot!"_

"_Seriously, Quinn, anything we can do for you…you just name it."_

"_I expect the most gorgeous law office in Boston."_

"_Kurt says consider it done," he said._

Neither Matt nor Kurt gambled on the process taking three more years and two more attempts, even with Quinn's help. But it was all worth it.

So completely worth it.

"Exactly how long have you guys been planning this?" Burt asked, finally getting an inkling of what he'd suspected had been a long, painful process.

"Um, a while," Kurt answered, not really wanting to relive the whole nightmare.

"Boys," Carole finally said after the baby had been passed around for another hour, "we haven't had lunch yet, and I'm willing to bet you two haven't either. Before we all faint from hunger, is there anything in this house fit for adult consumption, or do we need to order a pizza?"

"Pizza," Matt and Kurt said in unison.

* * *

Two pizzas, three hours, and countless phone conversations later explaining little Bethany Justine's sudden arrival to pretty much everyone in the universe, Finn had arrived from the airport, and called Matt because Kurt and Burt's phones were both busy to tell him he was in a taxi about two blocks away.

"Uncle Finn, we're all here. We've got pizza. Come on up!" Matt told his brother-in-law on the phone.

"Hey guys!" Finn shouted and was soon smothered by hugs from everyone, except his mother, who refused to put her newest granddaughter down unless it was naptime. "So, BJ, YOU'RE what Aunt Quinn's been trying to cover up," he said as soon as he saw his niece.

"BJ?" Kurt mouthed to Matt with a look of protest.

"And before you ask, Finn, no, hot tubs were NOT involved," Jo said with a sly grin.

"Oh, come on, Jo…it's been fourteen years. I've had six kids. I know how the birds and the bees work. Are you EVER going to let that one go?"

"NO!" Jo, Kurt, and Matt all shouted at once, which of course woke the baby up.

"Honey, you're my son and I love you," she said, handing her granddaughter over to her son, "but I had the birds and the bees discussion with you when you were thirteen, and you STILL didn't know how it worked."

"Hey, BJ!" he said softly, sitting down, kissing the top of her head and bouncing her on his knee. "Welcome to the family."

"Glad you could make it," Kurt said, and the permanent grin that had been on his face all day just got wider.

"How ya doin', kiddo?" Burt asked.

"I'm fine, Dad," Finn said, some small part of him still getting used to the idea of having someone to call that now. "The twins are about to drive me crazy, though. You know how Courtney dresses them in yellow and pink so we can tell them apart?"

"So YOU can tell them apart, you mean. I figured out how when they were, like, two," Jo corrected.

"You know, you're really lucky I've got my niece in my arms right now, Baby Sister. Anyway, as I was saying, Carole and Amy switched outfits last week. You know that old _X-Files_ episode with the Eves? You know, the evil twins who plotted their parent's murder and poisoned drinks and stuff? It wasn't quite that bad…but close."

"Um…what's _The X-Files_?" Jo asked.

"Before your time, Butt-Munch," Finn said.

"From that article you sent us, looks like your team's got a shot at state play-offs in their division," Burt said.

"Yeah, we almost couldn't pull it together. We were playing the state champions last year in the game that decided who would play in the division play-offs. The quarterback was intimidated…so I pulled a Kurt."

"REALLY?" Kurt said, completely shocked.

"Of course, none of them would've recognized _Single Ladies_, so I had to go with a different tune, but you know, times change."

"Did you guys pull it off?" Matt asked.

"Worked like a charm! That's why we're in the running for state champs this season," Finn said, clapping Kurt on the back. "Couldn't have done it without you, bro."

"Think the Ravens have a chance at the play-offs this year?" Burt asked.

"As if…but the Bears actually might have a shot for once," Matt joined in.

"Oh GOD, FOOTBALL," Jo whined, beating her head against the wall.

"This is a small apartment, honey," Carole said. "Neighbors will hear. But I understand the sentiment, completely."

"Just nod and smile, Jo," Kurt said. "Just nod and smile."

* * *

It was well after ten before everyone had gone to their hotel rooms. Carole and Jo cooked a fabulous meal with items procured from the market a few blocks down from Kurt and Matt's apartment. It had been a whirlwind of a day, and although nothing could have prepared both of the men for the pure unadulterated joy they felt when they brought her home, they were even less prepared for the wave of sheer exhaustion that crashed over them after everyone left. The baby was sleeping soundly, having been worn out from being passed around from relative to relative all day long, and the new daddies decided it would be a good idea to follow her cue.

"I still can't get over it," Kurt said in an almost-whisper so he wouldn't wake her. "She's ours, Matt. She's really _ours_."

Matt put an arm around his partner, just taking the sight in of his new baby daughter asleep in her crib. "She's not going anywhere, Kurt. Let's go to bed."

Kurt put his arms around Matt's waist and kissed him, with a slow, passionate tenderness that reminded him of the way they used to be when their relationship began. This was a new-old Kurt, and it thrilled him and scared him at the same time, but he would be lying if he said it wasn't something he could get used to.

"I have to say…fatherhood is agreeing with you…" Matt mumbled huskily as Kurt led him to their bedroom.

* * *

Three hours later, they were woken up by the shrill sound from the baby-monitor.

They both bolted awake, but Matt laid a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "I'll take care of her."

Kurt hadn't slept at all the night before making sure the baby's room was absolutely perfect, so he didn't really protest. He tried to go back to sleep, but the baby-monitor was never turned off, so Kurt just listened.

"Alright, BJ…come on now…" his partner was saying in a voice so soft it was barely audible, but Kurt could still make it out. "I know, I know…new place…new bed…first nights are never pleasant, but this is your new home so you better get used to it…"

'Oh GOD he's calling her BJ now, too…it's stuck…' Kurt thought, burying his head under the pillow.

He'd caught Jo and Carole adopting Finn's choice of nickname for her, and a very juvenile part of him protested because BJ stood for something that wasn't exactly kid-appropriate, but that suddenly made him EXTREMELY glad they decided to go with Rutherford…because BJ Rutherford was fine, but BJ HUMMEL? Seriously, the joke wrote itself.

Matt was trying to negotiate with the infant, which for some reason tickled him to no end. He knew next to nothing about babies, but he was fairly certain that at that age basic reasoning skills were pretty much nonexistent.

But then something he hadn't heard much since their school days came over the baby-monitor.

Matt was singing.

_Goodnight, my angel_

_Time to close your eyes_

_And save these questions for another day_

_I think I know what you've been asking me_

_I think you know what I've been trying to say_

_I promised I would never leave you_

_And you should always know_

_Wherever you may go_

_No matter where you are_

_I never will be far away_

_Goodnight, my angel_

_Now it's time to sleep_

_And still so many things I want to say_

_Remember all the songs you sang for me_

_When we went sailing on an emerald bay_

_And like a boat out on the ocean_

_I'm rocking you to sleep_

_The water's dark and deep_

_Inside this ancient heart_

_You'll always be a part of me_

Kurt was the most exhausted he'd ever been in his life and he had no intention of getting out of bed at all that night, but this was something he HAD to see.

As softly and carefully as possible, making sure to avoid the boards he knew would creek under his pressure, he made his way down the short hallway to the Baby Room.

_Goodnight, my angel_

_Now it's time to dream_

_And dream how wonderful your life will be_

_Someday your child may cry_

_And if you sing this lullabye_

_Then in your heart_

_There will always be a part of me_

_Someday we'll all be gone_

_But lullabyes go on and on..._

"It worked…" Matt whispered to himself.

"_They never die,"_ Kurt began to sing behind him, putting his hand on Matt's shoulder.

"_That's how you and I live on…_" they finished together in harmony.

And Matt knew that as he put her down and went back to bed that the harmony might not always be that sweet, but they'd always manage to find it again.

For better or for worse, they were a family now. He'd be lying if he said that there were never nightmares of what could happen, of what might be. The world was a scary, crazy place, and he was determined to shield her from it as long as possible.

And there were dreams, too.

Tonight, for now, as he lay next to his partner, he chose the dreams.


	3. Chapter 3

It had taken three days but somehow Finn managed to convince their parents that it was time for them to go back to Lima. As much as he had needed and wanted them there for BJ's (God help him, he was even starting to use that nickname. He was so going to have to thank Finn for that one someday.) homecoming, Kurt was getting more than a little anxious to have his daughter back to himself. One look at Matt as Carole once again took over just about everything related to BJ's care, and Kurt knew he wasn't alone in feeling more than a little ready to have their apartment to themselves again.

Finn must have recognized their looks from the five times the same experience happened to him because one minute Kurt saw his step-brother pull his father aside for a brief talk and the next minute, Dad was announcing he needed to get back to the shop and JoBeth had school and tests waiting for her. However it was more than a little curious Finn hadn't taken it upon himself to follow his own advice. After all it was football season as Kurt was painfully aware, and it was rare to even get a text from Finn this time of year let alone see him. Plus if the constant calls from Courtney and the kids were any indication, he was definitely missed at home.

"Not that we don't love having you here" Kurt prefaced as Matt recued BJ from her uncle's attempt at dancing with her. If they could get through the first few years of her life without risking brain injury it would be a good thing. "But doesn't your own family need you? And don't you have a job?"

"I just thought you two could benefit from my expertise." Finn said with a broad smile on his face, which remained even as Matt had to cough in a horrid attempt to cover his laughter.

"Didn't you just forget to pick up Chris and Will from soccer practice last week?" Matt wondered. "And haven't you been sending Courtney pictures of your thumb instead of BJ?"

"The camera is confusing and the practice schedule changed." Finn defended himself. "But anyway Courtney and my staff know there are certain family traditions that must be followed when we gain a new member."

_There_. _That_ was what had been bugging both of them for the past two days. The goofy, proud look Finn got on his face when he had a secret and thought he was going to surprise someone. Kurt narrowed his eyes as he moved towards his step-brother. "What did you do Finn? Our family went home. Except for you."

The knock on their door caused Matt and Kurt to exchange puzzled glances and Finn to just smile wider as he announced "I'll get it."

"Why do I think that's related to why he won't leave?" Kurt wondered.

Matt shrugged as he adjusted BJ to his right shoulder. "Probably because it is. Oh holy God what is that?"

Turning around, Kurt caught sight of a ridiculously large alien looking yellow creature coming towards them. It was a good thing BJ was starting to fall asleep because seeing that would probably set her off on a crying jag they had yet to experience. "Finn are you trying to cause psychological damage here?"

"Hey! This was all the 7-11 had!" A familiar voice protested from behind the enormous stuffed monstrosity.

"And really how can you two adopt a child and not know anything about Pokemon? I think they made that a law or something." Leah Rutherford came smiling towards them, a familiar laugh in her eyes. "Now I know you're thrilled to see me and all but really let's pay attention to my new niece."

"Lee?" Matt smiled as his sister reached up to hug both him and BJ, being careful not to smoother the tiny girl. If Leah was here, then there was no doubt as to the identity of Pokémon wielding visitor was. "Puck? What are you two doing here?"

"Like I would miss a chance to see you two be complete wusses?" Puck dropped the abominal creature Kurt was already plotting how to get out of the apartment within the hour. The Mohawk was long gone (due to Leah's insistence that a real man didn't need a hairstyle to prove how "badass" he was, although Puck would never admit to being so whipped by his girlfriend's opinion) but the smirk was still the same. As the former jock moved to offer his finger for BJ to grab onto, a rare genuine smile crossed his features. Finn, Kurt and Matt all exchanged knowing looks. Their friend had the same look on his face when Finn's girls had been born. It was never discussed but everyone realized when Puck saw a baby girl, he saw only Beth.

"How long are you staying?" Matt wondered. School was still in session and he knew Leah's time off was hard to come by. In addition to her regular duties as an English teacher it was also the time of year she mounted the school play. And there was no one Burt trusted in the shop more than Puck.

"Long enough for both of you to get sick of us." Leah promised as she moved to hug Kurt while balancing BJ on her shoulder. "And long enough for me to kick both your asses for keeping me out of the loop like this. You can shock everyone else _but_ me. That's the deal you two."

"So that's why you're still here." Kurt guessed, looking at Finn over Leah's shoulder. "You didn't have your fill of people lecturing us."

"Close." Finn smiled as another knock sounded at the door. "The rest of my reason might have just arrived."

"The rest of his reason?" Kurt mouthed as Leah and Puck moved towards the sofa with BJ between them. His partner just shook his head.

"I know you two did not just send out a Facebook announcement and not expect us to show up." Mercedes Jones's voice had lost none of its authoritative edge since the end of high school. In fact, it had only grown sharper since she took over the Cheerios when Sue Sylvester had been rumored to leave them to become a war chief of a faction of pygmies in the Amazon rainforest as everyone knew Sue Sylvester did not retire. Turning around to face his best friend, Kurt had to smile as he saw the smile that belied her tone. Standing next to her was the grinning pair of Tina and Artie Abrams.

"That's right." Tina nodded in agreement, her dark eyes twinkling. "After all tradition is tradition. Which you should know since you started this one."

"Well to be technical Finn started it." Artie pointed out as he wheeled towards where Leah and Puck were sitting. "Kurt just organized it."

"You guys didn't have to come out. " Kurt protested as Mercedes and Tina took turns hugging him and Matt hello.

"If we wanted to see pictures of her that don't include Uncle Finn's thumb we did." Artie pointed out as he took BJ from Leah and put her in his lap. Finn smiled sheepishly as the rest of the assembled group laughed. A third knock and Matt just laughed as Kurt's shoulders sagged. Going up to his partner he wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders.

"We figured they were coming at some point." Matt pointed out in a whisper. "And at least this time Puck didn't bring exploding cigars."

Noah Hudson's birth would probably never be forgotten by the hospital staff for that reason alone. Of course it did have to top Finn fainting on the way into the delivery room with Christopher or William almost being born in the car. Burt's birth wasn't all that exciting but considering they had just all been there a scant 11 months earlier, there was an eerie feeling of déjà vue associated with the entire procedure. And not to be out done by their older brothers, Carole and Amy had decided to up the bar by Amy hiding the entire pregnancy, thus surprising everyone with twins.

And every time, no matter where they were, all the member of New Directions would gather to welcome the newest arrival into their extended family. Matt smiled wider as Santana, Brittany and Rachel all came into their rapid shrinking living room.

True to form, Rachel was talking a mile a minute. "Well I must say I was surprised by your announcement. Not that I am anything less than thrilled for you both. As the daughter of two fathers, I can say it is truly a wonderful and remarkable experience. I've taken the liberty of informing my fathers of your newest addition and they are willing to assist you in any way you may need."

Matt didn't have to see Kurt's eyes widen in horror at the thought of accepting help from the parents who unleashed Rachel Berry on the world. He could tell just by the way Kurt's heart about sped out of his chest. "We'll keep that in mind Rach. Thanks."

Brittany had bypassed them and went directly to where Artie sat with BJ. Patting the infant's head, she looked up confused at Santana. "But she doesn't look like Matt or Kurt."

Santana just shook her head. "I'll explain later Britt." She promised her best friend. Turning on her heel in the manner she perfected in high school, Santana smiled at them in a manner that would have been mistaken for a smirk if a stranger had seen it. "Trying to out drama queen Berry once and for all Hummel?"

"Are you trying to force 48 teenagers to do exactly that?" Kurt shot back sassily. Santana had taken over Vocal Adrenaline five years ago and made it even more competitive than they had been back when they were in high school. They had won Nationals every year under her direction, a feat she credited to Coach Sylvester's training and her incredible eye for talent.

"When we crush your little sister at Regionals next year, I'll let you know."Santana promised. Kurt shot a grin at Finn, finally realizing exactly what he had said to their father to get the family to vacate so quickly. With JoBeth starting high school next year, it was widely assumed in most of the town she would follow in her brothers' footsteps and join New Directions. Which was not helped by the fact ever time she ran into one of the former glee clubbers, they all asked her the same question. Was she going out for New Directions? How many solos was she going to try for her freshman year? The questions never ceased to leave Jo irritable and snappish for the rest of the day. Burt would have flown out the second the words left Finn's mouth if he could manage it to avoid that attitude.

"Quinn should be here soon." Mercedes announced to the room as she closed her cell phone. "Her plane just boarded."

"She's at least seen BJ before." Puck grumbled. "Seriously, not cool swearing her to secrecy."

"We told you. We didn't want to say anything until everything was finalized." Kurt explained again. "And Quinn not saying anything goes with the territory of being our lawyer."

"Well at least we can stop wondering why it's taking you forever to redecorate her office." Tina sighed she took BJ from Artie. "Because seriously four years is a record even for you Kurt."

"Ha. Ha." Kurt stuck his tongue out at Tina, earning a laugh from the rest of the group. "I guess that means the only other person we're waiting on is Mike."

Everyone's eyes turned to Mercedes, who shrugged. "Don't look at me. I have no clue where that fool is."

Matt and Kurt exchanged guilty looks. With all the final preparations for BJ's arrival going on, they had fallen out of the loop with their friends for the past few weeks. And clearly they had missed the latest break up in the never ending saga of Mike and Mercedes. Ever since the end of college, they had the exact same fight. Mercedes wanted to get married. Mike didn't. They would break up in a hugely spectacular fashion, only to make up and get back together about a month or so later. And during the break up, both Matt and Kurt spend most of their time on the phone playing counselor for their stubborn best friends.

"I think he was in Utah opening a new studio" Leah answered helpfully. "It will take Twinkle Toes a minute to get here I'm sure." Ever since

"Yeah he texted me that he was on his way." Finn added.

"Great. Then I guess we have time to wait for the pizza to arrive. "Matt smiled as he clapped his hands and moved to get his phone.

* * *

An hour and a half and countless pictures later, a knock on the door sounded once again. This time Matt managed to make his way to the door, since Finn was stuck in the corner with Mercedes on one side and Puck on the other. Rachel was holding BJ and doing some sort of exercise she swore would tell them all if BJ had the proper lung capacity needed to make it on Broadway. He knew Rachel was the best vocal teacher in New York but if she could at least wait until his daughter was sleeping through the night before deciding if BJ had star quality it would be nice.

Opening the door, he smiled as he the two missing members of their family were standing on the other side. Quinn stepped in, stylish as always and managing to look put together even after getting off a plane and kissed his cheek. "Hey Daddy."

"Hey Auntie." Matt returned, knowing full well a permanent goofy grin had just crossed his face. "The star attraction is in the middle of the crowd I'm sure."

"Well I knew Kurt would be there but what about my niece?" Quinn teased as she walked towards the crowd.

"Very funny. " Matt laughed as he stepped aside to let Mike enter. "I thought you were in Utah."

"I wasn't going to miss this. The studio wasn't ready to open yet anyway." Mike explained with a shrug of his still lanky shoulders. After high school Mike had pursued his dream of dancing to the point of eventually landing on _Dancing With the Stars_. He had only left the show when it became clear to everyone he was going to win no matter who they placed him with; even the contestants that were clearly there just to be eliminated early. After the show, he returned to Lima and started to open his own successful chain of dance studios. It was almost impossible to catch him in the same state week to week. "Dude, you're a dad and I'm an uncle. Where else would I be?"

"I'm glad you're here because I needed to ask you something." Matt rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at his feet. The only thing he and Kurt had discussed more than this was BJ's name. And even though they both agreed Mike was the perfect choice for the role, it was still anxious getting ready to ask him.

"Sure." Mike leaned against the now closed door. "Fire away."

"After everything that happened when I came out, I don't think I ever really thanked you and your family for all you did for me back then. Without you guys, I don't know what would have happened." To say his parents hadn't taken the news well was an understatement. They had disowned him and by extension Leah as well when she refused to abandon him. In his quiet way, Mike just walked up and told him his parents had cleared out the guest bedroom at their house and Matt and his belongings were expected after school.

"Dude I told you then. It was no big thing. You're my boy. Of course I was going to help."

"You didn't have to. And I know it couldn't have been easy on your parents. And because of all that, and because outside of Kurt you really are the person who knows me best in the entire world…" Matt took a breath and looked into Mike's questioning eyes. "We want you to be BJ's godfather."

Matt could count on his hand the number of times he had seen Mike Chang tear up during the time they had been friends. The first time was when they thought glee club was ending sophomore year. Then there was when they performed together for the final time as seniors. The first time he and Mercedes broke up. And now. "Are you sure? I thought you all would choose Finn…."

"Finn's great. But you're the one we want. So are you going to say yes or …..?"

"Of course I say yes. I'm honored." Mike smiled as he hugged his oldest friend.

"Good. Now come on. I think it's time you meet your goddaughter."

* * *

It seemed nearly impossible to pull Quinn off by herself considering it appeared half the population of Lima was sitting his living room, but finally Kurt managed it. Overhearing her teasing Matt about never actually seeing the baby's room in all the time she had been coming out here, he had quickly and quietly offered to show her. Quinn crossed the room, touching all the white furniture and smiling when she saw the small pillow that said "Princess" she had given as a homecoming gift sitting atop the dresser.

"It's beautiful" she declared with a smile, turning towards him. "Not that I expect anything less from you of course."

"Of course." Kurt laughed before taking a breath. "Quinn, I don't know how to thank you for …."

Quinn cut him off with a wave of her hand. "Kurt we talked about this. All the thanks I need is seeing you guys happy with her. And trust me you are almost nauseatingly happy right now. I'm having flashbacks to high school and you two first getting together. Seriously. If BJ wasn't so cute I'd have to hate you both."

"We both know she probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. We might have even given up a long time ago. "

"No you wouldn't. You'd have kept on trying because she was always supposed to be with you guys. "

"Still, you were so important in getting her here, that we want you to be her godmother."

Whatever Quinn was expecting him to say, it certainly wasn't that. She took a stunned step backwards, chewing her bottom lip in attempt to keep her eyes from watering over. "Kurt…"

"Say no and I'm destroying that gorgeous office you have fabric swatch by fabric swatch." Kurt threatened.

"Well when you put it that way…I'd be honored."


	4. Chapter 4

**Look! Look! It's a plot! It's a plot! **

"_Dear Mr. Schuester,_

_We are pleased to inform you that your application for the school district of Puget Sound School systems of Washington State has been processed and approved. If you wish to accept your position as head of the theater program, please contact Principal Therese Clifford within the next fourteen days from the date posted on this letter, otherwise the offer will be rescinded. Thank you once again for your application. We hope to see you at the beginning of the upcoming academic year."_

Will Schuester read the letter for what had to have been the fiftieth time. It really would be a great opportunity. He'd get to be the theater program in a high school located in an area that had a reputation for being impoverished and crime-ridden.

Although his ex-wife Terri would've never even allowed him to think this might be a possibility, his new wife Emma encouraged it.

"You'd be so great at that, Will," she'd told him when he first brought up the idea.

"We'd have to move," he reminded her. She'd already had to change schools since Figgins introduced a no-fraternizing policy for faculty when they began dating again in earnest.

"Well, change isn't always a bad thing," she said. And he couldn't argue with that.

Change had come whether he wanted it or not, and it wasn't all bad. Sue Sylvester had FINALLY retired. The original members of New Directions had long-since grown up and were now raising families of their own. He and Emma had game night on Wednesdays with the original members of New Directions who'd stayed in town, despite Puck's protests on the grounds of board games being, in his words, "so completely lame and un-bad-ass."

The ones who'd left never forgot to stop by his office and say hello at the first opportunity. Seeing them on the rare occasions when they came home for family events and holidays reminded him why he went into teaching in the first place. It really did make all of the hard work worth it. And maybe…just maybe…the magic that had been New Directions was a tiny part of their success.

So if he left, who would be in charge?

Despite the fact that they'd won Nationals five times in the fourteen years since it formed, it was still a struggle to find funding and support from the local school board.

He knew that nobody would exactly be jumping at the chance to be the new faculty member in charge, and it would be more than enough reason to shut it down if he took this new position. He couldn't let that happen.

A knock on his door shook him out of his reverie. "Come in," he said, putting the letter back in its envelope.

"Mr. Schue, sorry to bother you, but…" Tina Abrams began in a rush.

"Tina, how many times do I have to tell you? We're colleagues now. I'm Mr. Schue to my students."

Tina blushed. "I don't care how many times you tell me that, you will ALWAYS be Mr. Schue as far as I'm concerned."

"Still coming over for game night tomorrow?" he asked. "Emma brought the latest version of Pictionary."

"It's on like Donkey Kong," Tina said. "Mind if I invite Santana?"

"Of course not! She's always welcome."

Santana was in the next town over, having taken Shelby Corcoran's position as head Vocal Adrenaline Coach two years ago. She always had an invitation to game night extended, but had yet to make it since the tradition began five years ago, and was surprised Tina even thought she needed to ask.

"She needs some cheering up. Her county just lost all the funding for the arts and now she's out of a job."

"WHAT? That's insane! Didn't they just raise the head football coach's pay?"

"And I think that's where they found the money to cover his new salary," Tina said with a sigh.

"Tell her to come and bring Brittany, too," he told her, and read the acceptance letter again when Tina left.

The wheels in his head were turning. Santana needed a job. And coming from a family of native Spanish speakers, he knew that the principal would give her his old spot in a heartbeat.

And she'd make sure New Directions would kick ass every single year.

So he took a breath and picked up the phone and dialed the number listed on the letter.

Change was scary, but, as he looked at the picture of he and his wife with their two-year-old son Elliot, he realized his wife was right. Change wasn't entirely bad.

* * *

Two days later, Mercedes, Tina, Artie, Puck and Leah were all gathered at the Schuester residence for their weekly tradition of game night, and this time, Brittany and Santana were included in on the fun. Leon Dalton, a friend of Mercedes' and Tina's had joined them that night at Mercedes' request as well.

"If Kurt were here, we'd so be kicking ass," Mercedes said.

"So am I ever going to meet Kurt? Leon asked. "I feel like I should meet the man behind the legend."

"How much longer until Thanksgiving?" Artie asked, missing his friends.

"Those two wusses better be glad they're not here or I'd so be kicking their asses for staying gone so long."

Kurt was hundreds of miles away in Chicago living with Matt and their now-fifteen-year-old daughter BJ, which everyone present knew was the real reason Puck wished they'd lived closer. Uncle Puck never missed a chance to spoil his niece, and it HAD been unusually long since Kurt, Matt and BJ last visited Lima.

"I wouldn't mind it if Kurt were here either," Leah said, knowing that if Kurt were there, her brother wouldn't be far behind. "But you know if he were here, he'd team up with Matt and those two would kick ALL of our asses. Puck what the HELL is that supposed to be?" Leah said, suddenly noticing Puck's latest attempt at art.

"Dude, that is SO OBVIOUS!" Puck protested, but Leah, along with the rest of the competitors participating in the last round of Pictionary for the evening were convinced that something he did in his youth must've ruined brain cells, because clearly, that could be the only explanation for the image he'd sketched on the over-sized pad for Leah to interpret as part of a category.

At the confused glances exchanged all around, Puck declared: "It's a light saber!"

"Puck," Leah informed him, snatching the card out of his hand as Tina got up to clear away an empty dish of chips and spinach dip for Emma, "the category was modern technology."

"And…?"

Leah just shook her head.

"Will, have you told them yet?" Emma asked.

Will shook his head. He was going to miss this. He was going to miss _them._ Modern technology, which, no Puck, did NOT include a light saber, had made the world a much smaller place, but still, it wouldn't be the same.

"Haven't told us what?" Artie asked.

Will and Emma exchanged knowing glances and Will grinned. "I've been hired as the Head Drama Coach out in Pudget Sound in Washington State," he announced.

"Head Drama Coach?" Puck asked.

"Washington State?" Tina asked.

"Wait a second, Washington State?" Brittany asked. "You'll be living near the President!"

"No, Brit," Santana said with a familiar roll of her eyes, "that's Washington D.C."

"When does it start?" Mercedes wanted to know.

"Well, there are still two months left in the current school year, but we've already spoken to a real estate agent about putting the house on the market."

"Well, I'm thrilled for you," Leah said, getting up to hug her colleague. "It'll be a great opportunity and I know you'll be awesome at it."

"Thanks Leah," he said.

"But what'll happen to New Directions?" Mercedes asked.

"Well, when I leave they'll need a new Spanish teacher," he said, giving Santana a pointed look. "So when San gets hired for THAT job, I'm pretty sure she'll have that covered."

"Damn, Mr. Schue," Santana said, sniffling. "You know I hate it when you make me cry," she told him, giving him a warm hug.


	5. Chapter 5

With a contented sigh, BJ Rutherford balanced her laptop carefully on her knees as she settled in further to the couch cushions. There would be hell to pay if she somehow managed to break _this_ one so shortly after her fathers replaced it. She had no intention of reliving the last three months. Her entire life was on her computer and without it she was at the mercy of her parents' taste. There were seriously only so many show tunes a girl could stand before she wanted to climb down the nearest fire escape and throw herself into a nearby dumpster right before trash pickup.

Scrolling through her restored music collection, she was relieved to see all her favorites were still there. Papa had said Daddy was only joking about erasing her flash drive and reprogramming it with a "better class of music" but it still didn't hurt to make one hundred percent sure.

Of course just because the file names matched up, it didn't mean he hadn't replaced the actual songs. Clicking on a link, she smiled as the familiar opening to Garbage's "Only Happy When It Rains" came pounding through the computer's speakers. A small giggle escaped her as a familiar aggravated sigh came from across the room.

"There _are_ noise pollution laws in this city Princess" Kurt reminded her from behind the pages of the latest issue of _People_. His latest client was supposed to be featured and he could admit he was more than a little curious to see what judgment was passed on his latest creation. It was hard to remain current in the fashion industry when you refuse to move to Los Angeles or New York. But neither of those cities was good for his family, so in Chicago he remained.

Wrinkling her lightly freckled nose that tended to make her look younger than she actually was, BJ predictably stuck out her tongue at the use of his nickname for her. It _would_ be his luck that his daughter would be the biggest tomboy in her class and hate everything that actually reminded people she actually was a girl. Kurt couldn't be positive but he was pretty confident the last time BJ had even been near a dress was when she was the flower girl in Puck and Leah's wedding ten years ago.

"Very mature." Matt nodded at her antics as he came into the room, folders in his hand. "I'm going to remember that the next time you try the 'I'm practically an adult' argument with us Bumblebee."

"I am practically an adult Papa" BJ argued while clicking towards her Facebook page. "You two seem to think I'm still five."

Matt and Kurt shot each other amused looks as BJ curled her feet under and began to chew on the edge of her hair. With the oversized T-shirt, too long jeans and obnoxiously stripped socks, she looked all of ten. Neither one of them had the heart to tell her she would probably always be mistaken for younger than she actually was.

"Not five. I'd give you ten at least." Kurt teased her, remembering full well how it felt to be constantly mistaken for being much younger than he actually was.

If she wasn't clearly involved in whatever she was reading on her laptop, they were both aware that little joke would have caused more than an annoyed eye roll. It seemed ever since she learned to talk, BJ had something to say and was determined to say it. While they were certainly proud their daughter definitely knew how to stand up for herself, both of them would be lying if they said it hadn't been the cause of more than a few headaches along the way.

"Is Mr. Schue moving?" She asked confusion reflected in her features.

"Not that I know of." Matt answered slowly before looking over at Kurt. "You haven't heard anything about that have you?"

"No and Mercedes knows better than to hide something like that from me."

"Well Uncle Puck's Facebook status says 'Mr. Schue reduced game night to a crying mess with that moving stuff. Taking care of weeping women is not cool dude.' So something's up." BJ pointed to her screen. "And Aunt Santana told him to stuff it, some people aren't unfeeling morons. Or at least I _think _that's what she said in Spanish."

"That's probably close enough to what she said." Kurt admitted reaching for his phone. He was fairly certain there were probably a few more colorful phrases thrown in there that either Santana hadn't bothered to teach BJ or his daughter was smart enough to know not to use them in front of them. (It was probably a tossup as to which the answer truly was.) "I'll call Cedes and see what's going on. "

"So you'll be busy for the next few hours clearly." Matt teased as Kurt made a face while he dialed the number.

"Hey at least we're past the 'Mike's such a loser what did I ever see in him' phase. " Kurt pointed out. "Cause those are always fun calls and never make for awkward party moments."

"I just don't get why they don't get married already." BJ grumbled as she stretched her arms over her head. "Everyone knows they'll make up in like a week or so. It's so predictable. It's been the same since the dawn of time."

Since they actually agreed with BJ on this one, neither Matt nor Kurt found they had it in them to take her to task for the age crack. Kurt shook his head as Mercedes finally answered her phone. "Are you holding out on me Baby Girl?"

"Well hello to you too stranger." He could almost see the smirk on Mercedes's face and her leaning against whatever wall was closest to her. "Nice to have confirmation you haven't broken all your fingers like we feared."

"It's not been that long since we've talked."

"I beg to differ."

"You always do."

"What exactly am I supposed to be holding out on you on?" Mercedes questioned, her usual humor underlining her words.

"Explain Puck's Facebook status to me. Mr. Schue is moving?"

"Apparently. He's going to be the head of the drama department in Pudget Sound, Washington. From what I heard tonight, the job's pretty much his dream gig. They're putting the house on the market and he's been trying to arrange it for Santana to take over his Spanish class and New Directions."

"Santana? I thought she was…."

"Funding was cut. She needed a job and really who better to help New Directions beat Vocal Adrenaline than their former coach right?"

"Sounds like thinking Coach Sylvester would have approved of. If she ever chose to compliment Mr. Schue that is."

"Exactly."

Since she figured this conversation would take awhile, BJ wasn't exactly paying full attention to what was going on. She should have known better. The slightest possibility of Mr. Schue leaving was guaranteed to bring the rest of her honorary aunts and uncles out of the woodwork. So when her cell phone trilled its familiar tones of Lenny Kravitz's "American Woman" she didn't think twice about answering it.

"Shoot."

"Bethany. Thank goodness. I was beginning to think I had written down your number wrong. I always seem to get voice mail when I call you."

She tried to kick Papa to get his attention but he was too busy reviewing case notes on a client. And of course Daddy was talking a mile a minute with Aunt Mercedes. "No. No. It's my number Aunt Rachel."

Normally just mentioning her aunt's name was enough to get their attention but of course tonight they were too busy.

"Excellent. I was going to try Kurt but his line was busy. I assume he's talking to Mercedes about this ending of a historical era?"

"I think so _Aunt Rachel_." If they didn't start listening to her soon, she was going to do something drastic. Like run screaming out of the apartment for starters.

She liked her aunt. Honestly she did. What she didn't like was the fact Aunt Rachel somewhere along the line decided that guiding _her_ was her mission in life. A decision that seemed to be based on the fluke of luck that they both had two dads. Aunt Rachel had explained one day in terrifying detail that she felt she could understand the situations BJ would face growing up better than anyone. What was more, she even thought she recognized a little of herself in BJ. After that day, BJ decided a relationship defined by infrequent phone calls and rare visits was probably best for her sanity.

"Well clearly we have to do something. I'm thinking a concert highlighting all the great accomplishments Mr. Schue achieved over his tenure as director of New Directions. I'm sure I can work some connections and get a full orchestra together in the time we have."

"A concert sounds great AUNT RACHEL." She shot a pleading look at both her fathers who finally seemed to recognize her distress. While Daddy said goodbye to Aunt Mercedes, Papa stood up and took her phone away from her.

"Rach? Hey it's Matt. Sorry BJ's on phone restriction due to grades."

Kurt went over to BJ and put a sympathetic arm over her shoulder. "Sorry B. We'll try to react before you start throwing things at us next time."

"Well Rachel was right on time." Mercedes smiled at Tina as her friend sat her kitchen table. "Kurt nearly dropped the phone to stop her from terrifying BJ."

"You really think this will work? I mean I know we all want them to move back…."

"All we're doing is laying the groundwork T. Just laying the groundwork."


	6. Chapter 6

It was well after 1 AM before Kurt got off the phone.

The conversation with Mercedes didn't last as long as their talks usually did, but then there was a call from Quinn, a call to Tina and Artie, followed by a conversation with Finn. Matt, meanwhile, had called Puck, which was followed a long-overdue conversation with his best friend, Mike.

And although he was pretty sure that talking with Rachel before he went to bed would induce nightmares, he decided to get the inevitable conversation with his former high school rival over with sooner rather than later. After all, he'd missed fifteen calls from her already since Matt hung up on her on BJ's behalf, and he knew that returning her call was the only way to make her go away.

"So I'm thinking concert," Rachel said immediately before Kurt was able to get so much of a 'hello' in edgewise. "A surprise concert with at least one joint number between the original members of New Directions and the current members." She gasped. "Oh, Kurt, I think it goes without saying that it Will. Be. Unforgettable." She gasped again. "That'd be a perfect number, don't you think?"

"Uh-huh," he managed to answer dryly, already trying to figure out how he was going to keep her from controlling every number on the set-list.

Secretly, Kurt was thrilled at the idea. Although his first semester at Bowling Green was spent as a music major, he decided that putting up with a department-full of Rachel Berry clones wasn't for him, and quickly changed to fashion design.

Something, he decided as he looked around his impeccably-designed Chicago high-rise, he was very glad he did.

But still, as a fashion-designer, as much as he loved the job, there weren't many opportunities to flex his vocal chords. He missed performing. God, did he miss it. There were occasional Karaoke nights with new friends he and Matt had made in Chicago, but still, it wasn't the same.

It was decided that there would be a video conference call as soon as it could be coordinated. Kurt, Mike and Rachel all had long-since installed video-phone capabilities in their respective apartments. Kurt had deemed it a necessary expense so he wouldn't have to fly to Los Angeles or New York quite so often. Artie had gotten his installed when he and Tina first built their house, so the part of the group that had stayed in Lima could gather there.

After an hour and a half, he finally managed to get Rachel off the phone, saying that he needed his beauty sleep and that they'd work out the kinks in the plan during the conference call which was scheduled to happen on Wednesday night since the Lima crowd would already be assembled for Game Night anyway and could just caravan over from Mr. Schue's.

"Although," Kurt had pointed out, "we'll have to get Ms. Pills…I mean, Mrs. Schuester (he still had a hard time calling her that, even though they'd been married for ages now) in on the planning, since we'll have to make sure he doesn't find out."

"This might be an issue for Finn as well," Rachel pointed out. "I'd trust Finn with my life, but with trying to plan a surprise party? Not so much."

Kurt loved his step-brother dearly, but he had to agree with that statement whole-heartedly.

Finally, Kurt told Rachel that he had a client in the morning and released himself from her vice-grip, saying they'd work out the kinks later.

The soft, blue glow of the television set greeted him when he came in from the balcony, which he'd stepped out onto so as not to disturb Matt's conversation with Mike. BJ's computer was still open and she still had her feet tucked under her, but her head was lying against the cushions of the couch.

Oh-so-carefully, he managed to lift the laptop out of her lap without causing her to stir, and closed it, setting it gingerly on the coffee table. The thought of her drooling over his five-hundred-dollar-a-yard damask silk throw was not appealing, but it was the only blanket he had handy, so he covered her with it, and kissed the top of her head.

She looked so peaceful, so innocent, which he knew was a far cry from her personality during her waking hours. Kurt was sure that the stress she caused him was bad for his complexion. She was stubborn. She was trouble with a capital 'T,' and both he and Matt had fielded more than their fair share of phone calls from teachers and parents of her other classmates. Her taste in clothes and music left a LOT to be desired, and if he could invent a time-machine, kill whoever invented toe-socks so that the horrid things she insisted on wearing in public with…good Gaga…_crocks…_would disappear for all eternity, it wouldn't be a bad thing. But still, she was his little girl and he loved her.

And if it hadn't been for Glee Club, Finn would've never had anything to do with him. He wouldn't have Carole or his half-sister JoBeth, and he certainly wouldn't have Matt. If it hadn't been for his extended family he found in his fellow teammates, he never would've adopted BJ. Who knows what kind of person he would've turned out to be?

He was happy for his old favorite teacher, but the thought of going back home and visiting his old haunts without saying hello to him and his wife and seeing their son grow up was a sad one. Still, there was nothing that could be done to stop it, and it was an idea he was just going to have to get used to.

He tip-toed his way back to his and Matt's room and found his partner sleeping soundly. Oh, of course his life had its ups and downs and it wasn't perfect, but, as he reminded himself as he crawled in bed next to Matt, life was good.

Kurt couldn't help it. He knew Matt sleeping soundly, but dammit, life was too short and he just couldn't help it. He kissed him soundly on the lips and stroked Matt's hair at the temple.

"Kurt…it's late….we both have work in the morning…" Matt mumbled, but instinctively curled his body towards him.

"I was just thinking…" Kurt said as he planted a trail of soft kisses down Matt's neck.

"About possibilities…" he whispered, and Matt groaned as Kurt nibbled his partner's bottom lip, kissing him again, his tongue searching for Matt's. Matt responded this time, turning them over.

"I like possibilities," he said, landing Kurt on his back and kissing him forcibly, fully awake now.

Yes, Kurt decided as he felt Matt's strong hands inching further and further down his stomach, life was good.

And so were the possibilities.


	7. Chapter 7

"No Rachel**,**" Kurt said as he rolled his eyes. "We, no wait**…**let me be accurate; y_ou_ aren't doing_ In a Very Unusual Way_ for Mr. Schue."

"It's completely appropriate both tonally and emotionally!" Rachel protested**.** "We do owe who we are to Mr. Schue." Rachel folded her arms in front of her.

On the other screens, Kurt could see Mike trying not to laugh while Puck threw his head back in aggravation. They had only thirty minute at the most to get the concert at least planned to a reasonable point before the Lima contingent had to get going and the last fifteen had seen him and Rachel arguing over every possible song choice. It was if he had jumped in a time machine and landed back in the choir room at McKinley.

"Besides" Rachel continued, ignoring the loud sigh Santana released. "You're just mad because I said no to _I Am What I Am_."

"That has nothing to do with it**,**" Kurt denied. Ok maybe it was a little to do with it, he could admit to himself**,** but he would be damned before he admitted that to Rachel. "It's more to do with teenagers possibly misinterpreting how exactly Mr. Schue touched you in an unusual way Rachel. We want to send the man off on a high note, not a cloud of suspicion."

"Fucking hell Hummel**,** didn't you two graduate high school with the rest of us?" Puck complained. "I'm having flashbacks here."

"Especially since I think Rachel wore that cat sweater junior year**,**" Quinn added in from her office in Boston. "Now as much fun as watching the two of you re-enact Diva-Off 2009 is for us, can we kick both those songs off the list and move on?"

"Fine**,**" Rachel relented and rolled her eyes**,** but it escaped no one's notice that she tried to cover up the cat on her sweater after Quinn's barb. "But I still think we are being a bit obvious in our selection choices. New Directions is known for unusual choices."

"But we have to catch Finn and Brittany up**,**" Tina piped in, leaning over Artie's shoulder. "And neither one of them ever managed to master sight-reading like the rest of us. As it is, a week for Finn to learn any choreography is probably praying for a miracle."

"Yeah guys, contrary to my reputation, I'm not God**,**" Mike pointed out with a smile.

"Excuse me? Something from _Altar Boyz _is familiar enough for them to learn in a week?" Rachel asked in a huff. "It was off-Broadway and not even _The Fantasticks_. And I still think we should revisit _Try To Remember_. If we are going to do off-Broadway we should go with the standard."

"Rachel we don't want to cause accidents because people are sleeping from ballad overload." Artie pointed out.

"_Try To Remember_ is predictable Rachel. And you just said our list was too predictable." Kurt smiled sweetly, throwing her logic back into her face. "I can't speak for Brittany, but I can assure you that Finn knows _Everybody Fits_. He'll be fine with it."

Mike broke into a long loud laugh. "That's right. I remember Matt complaining all junior year about you playing those songs every chance you got. He swore he was having nightmares about Christian boy bands. If Matt was that sick of those songs, then Finn will know them."

"Hey Kurt**,** where is your quieter half anyway?" Santana asked suddenly. "I thought attendance was mandatory for this except for those who can't keep secrets."

"Working. His night doing admission assessments." Kurt admitted, not really wanting to concentrate too long on the fact Matt was probably asking someone right this second if they felt homicidal and if they had a specific plan to kill someone. While a part of him was very happy that places like Crossroads Behavioral Health Hospital existed, (after all, he probably would have ended up in one if his dad wasn't as supportive as he was or if he hadn't found the friends he was currently annoying) but the nights Matt ran the admissions department, he really wished they didn't. Because then he wouldn't be worrying if once again**,** a search wasn't as thorough as it should have been**,** and an unstable person got a weapon into a secure facility. But Matt loved his job, and so even though Kurt absolutely detested these nights, he kept his mouth shut.

"I, for one, am fully confident that Matt will know the songs in time**,**" Artie answered. "Besides**,** we all know he'll be sleeping on the couch for a month if he doesn't."

"Why don't we just call the set list done?" Mercedes asked quickly as the rest of the group laughed at Artie's point. "The more important question is how can we pull this off without tipping Mr. Schue off?"

"We can always ask Mrs. Schue…" Quinn started to point out.

"Actually we don't**,**" Santana cut her off with a toss of her hair over her shoulder. "The only thing left on the performance schedule is the end of the year concert for the rest of the losers at McKinley. And since that's supposed to be numbers they've practiced all year, Mr. Schue is going to turn those practice sessions over to me, and that's so that the kids can get used to my style."

"God. They'll be praying for lessons of the week." Artie said, with a look of alarm on his face.

Throwing a sneer in Artie's direction, Santana continued. "Before I was so rudely interrupted, I was going to say Mr. Schue is still going to the last concert. So we don't actually have to come up with anything to get him there. We just use the already scheduled concert."

"And you'll run the numbers with the new members so they can keep up with us." Puck chimed in.

"Way to catch up with the rest of us Puckerman**,**" Santana said as she rolled her eyes. "So we don't have to involve Mrs. Schue at all. And since Brittany is working with the cheerleaders at her school, less of a chance for Brittany to blow the secret."

"Plus Mrs. Schue always goes to the last concert." Mercedes nodded. "We don't have to invite her."

"Speaking of which, if we don't want a million questions why we are all late, we better get a move on to their house**,**" Leah piped in from the back of the group. "And Puck, please promise me you won't try and spell 'Puckasaurus' again like you did last time."

"It was, like, fifteen points with double letter scores!" Puck argued.

Even though Leah had become an honorary member of the team over the years, especially since her marriage to Puck, she had declared if she helped in the planning, she'd probably starting humming a song during school which Mr. Schue would recognize**,** and then she'd be the one to spill the secret. "Quinn and Mike, Rachel I'm sure has already emailed you the arrangements for the songs."

A quick guilty look at her feet while Quinn and Mike rolled their eyes confirmed for everyone that Leah's assumption was correct. Smiling, Leah continued. "And Artie's right that Kurt will make sure Matt has everything down cold. You guys can work out an actual rehearsal schedule once we know when everyone is getting to town. And where Finn's going to stay without alerting the entire town. Kurt, I don't care what you say. You guys are staying with us."

She put her hand over Puck's mouth. "And don't let this idiot I married tell you differently. We both know he's dying to spoil BJ."

"Woman, what have I told you about destroying my rep like that?" Puck complained as the rest of the group started to say their goodbyes.

"You have a rep?" she said with a smirk**. "**Bye Kurt. Hug BJ for me."

"Bye guys**,**" Kurt said and smiled as his friends started out for the night, laughing and arguing in the background as Artie killed their connection. As he always did after he had conversations or visits with one of their old high school friends, he wished they could all live closer together. Seeing them only every few months seriously didn't cut it the older they got. Sure he and Matt had made some great friends over the years since they moved to Chicago, but it wasn't the same.

Stepping out of the den, he heard the sound of BJ laughing coming from the living room. Figuring it had at least the chance of being a better option than sitting around missing his old friends or worrying until Matt crawled into their bed later (which he was going to do anyway), Kurt headed into the living room to see what she was watching.

"How's everyone?" She asked distractedly, pulling her hair into a haphazard ponytail. Kurt considered it a minor victory that the only sign of femininity BJ ever showed was her long hair. True it was only long because she hated going to the salon and she always had it under a baseball cap or in a ponytail, but it was still better than the Natalie Portman in _V_ look she had considered for way longer than he cared to think about.

"Fine. They can't wait to see you."

"Well that's cause I'm awesome." She smiled.

"And modest**,** too**,**" he laughed as he sat down on the couch. "I assume your homework is done."

"Yes**,**" she said with a sighed**. **And he didn't have to look at her to see the eye roll.

"So what are we watching?" he asked, but grinned as a glance at the screen told him the answer before she could say it.

"_Heathers_. Ever seen it? It's hysterical."

"I love my dead gay son**,**" Kurt rattled off in a perfect imitation of the sobbing father, complete with clutching an imaginary football. He laughed a little at the shocked look on his daughter's face. "Maybe once or twice."

"I guess this means I'm starting this over from the beginning and we're both watching it?"

"Almost. You're also getting popcorn."


	8. Chapter 8

"But guys!" BJ protested, "I don't really think this is necessary! I'm six months away from my sixteenth birthday party. Do you know what that means?"

"That you'll be able to drive and that everyone on the road should be VERY afraid?" Matt said, putting his suitcase in the trunk.

"Matt, don't remind me," Kurt said faintly, putting his in next to Matt's and then BJ's.

"Two hundred years ago, I would've been married with a kid by now," she tried to reason. "I would've been considered an adult THEN. Why can't you guys see me as an adult NOW?"

"Because SOMEONE has to be an adult in this family," Kurt said.

"Yeah, because Disney music is SOOOO adult," she said as _Hakuna Matata _from _The Lion King _began to blast through the speakers.

"Hey, it's catchy!" Kurt fired back.

"Buckle up, Bumblebee," Matt told her as she crawled into the backseat.

Kurt didn't have to look in the rearview mirror to know she was rolling her eyes.

"Please?" BJ begged. "Can't I come with?"

"Oh please, like we'd let you skip the last week of class before finals. Besides, I thought you liked Cassie and Lisa?" Kurt said.

"Cassie and Lisa are awesome. But Uncle Puck and Aunt Leah are awesommer," she said.

"That's not a word," Matt told her.

"And besides, they have that stupid yippy little dog that looks like a drowned RAT and they're..." she made a face. "VEGAN."

"Tofu's good for you," Kurt said. "I went vegetarian for awhile. It didn't kill me."

"No, but it almost killed ME," Matt said, remembering the period he liked to refer to as The Lean Years when Kurt attempted vegetarianism after they first moved to Chicago.

"And when I die of anemia from lack of red meat," BJ said, "you'll be devastated."

"What ever will we do?" Kurt teased.

BJ kicked the back of his seat.

"It's just four days," Matt said. "I think you can stand tofu and veggie burgers and pasta for four days."

"Ew," she said.

"Be good!" Kurt said as she hugged his neck from the back seat on her way out of the car.

"You too, Daddy. Call me when you get there!"

"Papa, you know how he gets. Don't let me hear about how you had to bail him out of jail because of another Diva-Off," she said, hugging him.

"Don't worry, B, I'll take care of him."

"How much do you want to bet Cassie and Lisa will be doing cartwheels when she gets on the plane to Columbus on Friday?" Kurt asked as he watched her go.

"That's a sucker's bet," Matt said with a snort. "Don't let me forget to bring them back a very nice bottle of alcohol," he said as he merged onto the highway that lead them to Chicago Midway International Airport. "I think they'll need it."

"A giant one," Kurt agreed.

* * *

"Remember the plan," Mercedes said as she looked around for any sign of her friends. "Whenever the hell they decide to show up."

Santana rolled her eyes, and folded her arms, tapping her foot in impatience. "You know how that diva always has to make a fashionable entrance," she said, and then muttered something in Spanish.

Leah stared blankly at the arrivals on the flight board, and dialed her brother's phone for the fifth time. "The flight's arrived. They should've been here half an hour ago."

"Damn it, what the hell is going on? Did they miss their flight?" Mercedes asked, calling Kurt for the sixth.

"Maybe their flight's stuck on the tarmak?" Tina asked.

"Or maybe they're just being douches," Puck offered. Leah swatted him.

"Or maybe we got held up at security because someone just couldn't keep his mouth shut!" Matt's voice came from behind him.

Leah rushed up to give them a hug.

"Where the hell have you been?" Mercedes asked Kurt, swatting him, but grinning widely at the sight of her best friend.

"What happened," Tina asked when it was her turn to hug him.

Matt and Kurt just exchanged a look that seemed to decide something between them.

"People are idiots," Kurt said tersely. "I'd really rather not dwell on it."

"People _are _idiots," Matt agreed. "But you didn't have to get yourself almost kicked off the plane for running your mouth!"

"Oh, like I was going to let that stupid, ignorant bitch get away with what she said!" Kurt ranted as they made their way to the parking lot.

"People say stupid shit all the time," Leah said. "Say hello to the King of People Who Say Stupid Shit All the Time," she added, pointing at her husband.

"Hey, I just speak the truth!" Puck protested.

"Yeah, but you never accused us of using our daughter for our own…what was the phrase she used? Disgusting, perverted sexual fantasies."

Matt sighed. "It's not like we haven't dealt with stuff like this before."

"I know, I know…I don't care if they think I'm an abomination or going to hell or whatever…and I know I should've just let it go. But it was about BJ. I just…couldn't leave it alone."

"I wouldn't have just been kicked off the plane," Puck said. "If it was about BJ, somebody would have had to come bail me out of jail."

And Kurt didn't' know whether to be grateful someone understood, or terrified he just found something in common with Noah Puckerman.

* * *

They had to pull over once for gas and again because Tina had to throw up on the way back from the airport.

"It's this new antibiotic I'm on for a bad case of bronchitis I had last week," she said at everyone's worried looks. "They said nausea is one of the side-effects. Seriously…no big deal."

But Kurt couldn't help thinking Tina was trying to make light of the situation to make everyone else feel better. For the moment, though, he just focused on being back together with his old friends.

The last time he and Matt visited was Thanksgiving. Finn's wife Courtney had insisted on having Christmas at the Hudson household in Michigan, and Matt's job didn't allow them the opportunity to be gone on New Years, so it had been way too long since their last get-together.

"The Clan Hudson are all at my house as we speak," Tina said.

"I hope you got all the breakables out of the way," Kurt said, knowing the reputation his step-brother had for being a klutz. Finn's lack of coordination had been apparently passed down to the next generation, as was evidenced by Noah Hudson tripping over the Unity Candle resulting in a nearly-catastrophic church fire at Puck and Leah's wedding.

"What about the rest of us?" Matt asked. "Is Mike here yet?"

"That fool better not show his face until rehearsal," Mercedes muttered. "That is unless he wants a beat-down."

"Don't tell me you guys broke it off again," Kurt said, shaking his head.

"Let's find something else to talk about, shall we?" Mercedes said with an angry sigh.

"When's everyone else getting here?" Matt asked.

"Quinn's at Mercedes' house getting some work done on her laptop until we get back. Rachel's not going to be in until tomorrow. Her school just ended a run of _Chess _and she had to attend the final night considering two of her students are leads."

"I'm surprised she didn't insist on being Florence herself," Kurt said rolling his eyes.

Tina glanced cautiously over at Mercedes. "Mike's coming in from Atlanta at 9:30," she said nervously.

"I don't care if that boy is coming in from the ninth circle of hell," Mercedes huffed. "He can't go back from where he came soon enough."

"From whence," Kurt corrected.

Mercedes swatted him. "Whence just sounds stupid. Since _when_ are you the grammar police?"

"He's entitled to be here just like the rest of us!" Santana argued.

"Mercedes…" Kurt began, but putting a hand up, she interrupted him.

"Oh GOD! " Tina squealed. "MATT, KURT, GET DOWN! GET DOWN RIGHT NOW! AWAY FROM THE WINDOW!"

"What the hell?" Kurt asked.

"JUST DO IT!"

They obeyed, and heard a honking sound and Tina smiled and waved at a passing car. "Phwew! That was close," Tina breathed.

"That was the Schuemobile," Tina clarified. "I don't think he saw you guys."

"Oh my GOD keeping a secret in this town is IMPOSSIBLE!" Santana complained.

"Oh, I don't know about that," Matt said, winking at Kurt. "I managed to keep one for a few years."

"Kurt, Matt, you realize this means you guys are quarantined until further notice," Leah said.

Kurt laid his head against the window resigning himself to his fate.

"At least it shouldn't be a problem when Mike comes in," Santana said. "They'll be home long before then."

"Please don't bring that boy up again," Mercedes said.

"Look," she clarified when everyone shot her confused looks. "I'm gonna play nice and not ruin everyone's week. But don't ask more than that from me."

Matt looked over at his partner's face and shook his head. He could practically see the wheels in Kurt's head turning, planning his next and probably disastrous attempt at matchmaking. He wanted Mike to be happy too, but Mike and Mercedes were adults and if things were meant to be between them, they would've worked out by now.

"So dinner at my place in about an hour?" Tina said when she dropped Leah, Puck, Matt and Kurt off at the Puckerman residence.

And they all helped Matt and Kurt unload their luggage.

"Please promise me one thing," Matt asked Kurt as they set up their bags in the guest room.

"What's that?"

"Don't be you."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't know if that request is even slightly possible. I've been me for a few years now, and I don't know another way to be."

"You know what I mean," Matt continued. "I saw that look when Mercedes was complaining about Mike. You want to play matchmaker."

"What? I can't help two friends be happy?"

"You're forgetting one thing. You suck at matchmaking."

"Hey! I set up Burt and Carole! They're perfect!"

"You tried to set up me with Quinn!"

"I didn't exactly have all the facts!"

"Just behave, okay?" Matt said as they went to join Leah and Puck in the living room.

Matt shook his head. He loved Kurt. Truly, he did, and he wouldn't trade him for the world, but Kurt and his crazy schemes? Sometimes he felt like he was in the middle of an _I Love Lucy _episode, only he sure as hell didn't know how to play the bongos and didn't know a damn word to _Babalu. _

And sometimes things never changed.

Sometimes he was glad they didn't.

Sometimes he wished they would.


	9. Chapter 9

"Ok Tina. Spill," Kurt demanded as soon as he was able to pull Tina away from their crowd of friends currently taking up every available spot in her and Artie's living room. "What caused the latest riff in Lima's longest running soap opera?"

Sighing, Tina rolled her eyes as she handed Kurt some plates from the cabinet. "Who knows? He didn't take the trash out soon enough? It all boils down to the same old same old with them. Honestly I don't even ask anymore. By the time I figure out what caused it, they've made up."

"I just don't understand them." Kurt shook his head as he moved to help her set the table. "Clearly they are perfect for each other. Why they keep living in denial about that is just ridiculous. If they were supposed to be with other people, they would have actually stayed broken up."

"Preaching to the choir here," Tina said shaking her head. "She doesn't listen to me about that anymore. If you guys lived closer you might have better luck." Tina smirked a little. 'Ok maybe this wasn't following the plan exactly, but Mercedes did deserve it after all,' she thought as she went to get the glasses. She was always miserable without Mike and Mike was miserable without her. And if encouraging Kurt in his natural tendency to meddle helped them out and ultimately helped the plan, well who would really argue with the results?

"You mean I would get to have the awkward phone conversations in person? Where Matt's in one corner listening to Mike complain and I'm in the other listening to Mercedes? It's a dream come true Tina!" Kurt laughed. "Throw in BJ eye rolling and muttering under her breath every five seconds about how stupid they're being and I can't imagine how that wouldn't work out."

"Kurt." Finn came into the kitchen, with a grinning Artie and Matt behind him. "Really? _Everybody Fits_? Seriously?"

"It's perfect!" Kurt defended. "A few lyrical tweaks here and there but it's perfect."

"You're just doing this to torture me." Finn accused.

"No sweetheart," his wife countered. "That's my job. And the kids." Courtney smiled as she squeezed past her husband, winking in Kurt's direction. If he didn't know for a fact she had six kids, Kurt would swear she was still the same terrified college junior Finn brought home one weekend. It was a good thing Courtney had deliciously catty sense of humor or one of the other girls present would have killed her years ago. "He's just annoyed the twins decided to look that particular song up and have fallen in love with the whole CD. It's all he heard the whole drive down."

"Don't think I don't know they got that CD from you." Finn shook his finger in Kurt's direction.

"They did not!" Kurt retorted. Technically they got it from Rachel. All he did was give Rachel a heads up on where she might possibly find the CD.

"I know it was you. And I'll find out." Finn promised.

"Can we put your mission on hold for us to eat?" Artie wondered.

"Damn straight**,**" Puck announced as he pushed past Finn.

"We're still working on the whole manners thing," Leah said as she shook her head. "You should all be glad I convinced him forks are a necessary item."

"Food's on guys," Tina said smiling as her family crowded around the table. "Let's eat."

* * *

"I still can't believe that after next week, Mr. Schue is no longer going to be the coach of New Directions," Tina said as she shook her head as Mercedes handed her another dish to be dried.

Matt and Puck had left to pick up Mike in Columbus. The twins and Burt, the only three of Finn and Courtney's kids home already from school, had left to hit a party a friend of Burt's was throwing the next town over. Finn and Artie had gone to Artie's office, officially to look at some program Artie was trying out but everyone realized was code for "play video games on Artie's sweet new screen." The rest of the group puttered around the kitchen, trying to restore some sense of order.

Mercedes snorted. "I can't believe Santana hasn't run off the entire team yet."

Santana sneered in Mercedes's direction. "And when my team brings home more national championship trophies than yours does, we'll see who has the last laugh."

"You really think New Directions could win another one?" Kurt wondered as he took a plate from Tina and put in on the shelf.

Santana shrugged. "Well, they're no us, but they aren't bad. At least they have enough sense to pick a captain that doesn't drive everyone insane."

Tina giggled. "Speaking of, I told Artie he got to pick up Rachel since the rest of us have to work. So," she said, swatting Kurt with a dishtowel, "Kurt, you and Matt might want to work on your excuses now."

"We're going to the garage to see Dad," Kurt said, relieved to have a built-in excuse**.**

"You mean the house." Leah corrected. "Burt doesn't go in on Tuesdays."

"Since when?" Kurt asked stunned. As long as he could remember, with the exception of major holidays and certain life altering events, Burt always went into the shop. Even if it was just to open the place up on weekend and then come back home.

Leah shrugged her shoulders. "Past few months. Carole convinced him to let Puck run the place by himself at least a few days a week. God help us all Puck's in charge on Tuesdays and the weekends. I think its Carole's sneaky plan to get your dad used to the idea of retirement."

"Good for her," Courtney said with a smile over her shoulders. "Its about time Burt took some time for himself. "

"Yeah. Yeah it's great for him," Kurt said distractedly.

He was so lost in thought that he missed the triumphant looks Mercedes and Tina shot Leah, who brushed her nails off on her shoulder before giving a thumbs up to her friends with a grin.

"So as long as you're careful to steer clear of the guest of honor, do whatever you want tomorrow. But both you and your man's asses need to be at April Rhodes' Auditorium before rehearsal starts at 5." Santana reminded him. "Courtney you sure the kids don't mind helping us?"

"I wouldn't say don't mind, but they're doing it." Courtney said simply, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. "They knew helping with this performance was the price to pay to see Dad sing and dance in public. I think their older brothers are paying them to tape it for them."

"They're hoping he'll fall or something aren't they?" Kurt laughed.

"I think they have a betting pool on it." Courtney admitted while the rest of the assembled group giggled. "Well," she amended. "I don't think Noah's in on it, but that's for obvious reasons."

"Don't let BJ get wind of it. She'll try to rig it so she'll win." Kurt pointed out.

"Burt would probably let her," Courtney admitted. Even though there were seven years between the cousins, there had always been a bond between them. If BJ had known Burt was going to be there, she would have begged even longer than she had to skip school for a week. No, Kurt admitted, she would have found a way to skip school to be there for the entire week.

Impulsively Tina came up and hugged Kurt. "At the risk of sounding completely cheesy, it's just good to have you guys home again. It's been way too long."

"For real," Mercedes added, nodding in agreement. "This popping in for holidays and over the summer stuff isn't cutting it. "

"I know. But it is good to see everyone again." Kurt agreed with a sigh. "Even Rachel."

"Tina? Are we missing a wine glass?" Santana asked, motioning to the table. "I only have eleven and there were twelve of us." As a matter of habit, she pushed the glasses back further on the table as Brittany and Quinn wandered in from the sun porch.

"Oh I didn't have any." Tina waved her hand. "I can't drink on this medication."

Kurt arched his eyebrow, not entirely believing his friend's explanation. Like him, Tina had never been a big drinker but a glass or two of wine with dinner was typical on nights like this. And now that he thought about it, Tina had been unusually skittish all night. Every few seconds, she kept sneaking a glance over at Artie. Plus the vomiting earlier? Tilting his head, the words escaped him almost as soon as the possibility crossed his mind. "Tee? Are you pregnant?"

"Am I what?" Tina sputtered as the room fell completely silent at his question, except for the splash Mercedes made as she dropped a dish into the sink. Brittany clapped her hands excitedly and raced to hug Tina.

"Another Drizzle?" The blonde smiled widely. "This is so exciting!"

"No…No Brittany. I'm not pregnant." Tina protested, pulling herself out of Brittany's arms. Seeing her friends still staring at her she felt the need to repeat herself again. "Seriously you guys I'm not!"

Courtney pursed her lips, her green eyes trained on Tina's. "Well are you sure? You are looking a bit pale."

"I've been sick."

"And you kept looking at Artie the entire night. " Kurt pointed out. "You kept looking like you wanted to say something."

"You kept looking at Matt the whole night too. Does that mean _you're_ pregnant?"

"I'm not the one who spent half the drive from the airport vomiting." Kurt continued. "I'm telling you, you're pregnant."

"I think I would know." Tina protested, shooting the evil eye at the rest of her friends who seemed to be seriously considering Kurt's nonsense.

"I wouldn't dismiss him outright Tina." Courtney said slowly. "He's the one who figured out I was pregnant with Burt and the twins before the doctor confirmed it."

"Ha! See?" Kurt exclaimed triumphantly as he moved to give his sister-in-law a hug. "I knew there was a reason I liked you. "

Turning to Tina he shook his finger. "I'm right. And I'm planning the baby shower."

Watching Kurt leave the kitchen, probably to scare Artie half to death with his announcement, Tina released an aggravated sigh before turning to see all her friends still looking at her, curiosity etched on their faces. Well all but Courtney who was clearly amused by the entire scenario. "Would you stop looking at me like that? I'm not pregnant guys! "

"You _have_ been rather jumpy." Quinn pointed out.

"Because I don't want to screw up the plan here guys!" Tina groaned before turning towards Courtney. "And you!" she ranted, pointing an accusatory finger in Courtney's direction. "You encouraged him!"

"Oh relax! " Courtney laughed as she moved to pat Tina's arm. "This will help the plan."

"How? By making him come back to plan a baby shower for a non-existent baby?"

"No by distracting him. We all know that if Kurt is determined to figure something out, he will agree to just about anything. Including going through an open house for a house he's already seen _and_mocked before. He'd never bother for just a tour. But going to see if Tina's more interested in the child-friendly aspects of the home? He'll go. He'll agree to just about anything at this point just to prove himself right. And Matt will get dragged along because he's Matt and that's what he does."

There was a long silence before Quinn let out a low whistle. "Does Finn actually know what an evil genius his wife is?"

"He has his suspicions," Courtney said as she smiled brightly.


	10. Chapter 10

"Mickey Mouse or smiley face?" Leah asked as Matt went in the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Matt wasn't awake enough yet to be sure he'd understood his sister's question, so he just nodded.

"You boys sleep well?" Leah asked as Kurt came in.

"What smells so good?" Kurt asked grabbing himself a mug from the cabinet.

"Bacon!" Leah replied. "And pancakes."

"Leah," Kurt said, "You didn't have to do all this! We're adults. We can get our own breakfasts.

"Matt," Leah said, with a glance over her shoulder. "You never answered my question. Mickey mouse or smiley face?"

"What am I? Twelve? And Kurt's right…you've got to go to work early. You shouldn't be going to all this trouble." He took his first sip of his coffee. "Mickey Mouse."

"Oh please, like I was going to pass up a chance to spoil you guys. Think of it as the consolation prize for putting up with Puck," she said as Puck grabbed her around the waist and kissed her soundly on the lips.

"Can I get mine X-Rated?" Puck asked, waggling his eyebrows.

"No" Leah said. "Let me rephrase that. Fuck, no." And then she turned to her brother-in-law. "For you Kurt?"

"Actually, I'm not a big breakfast eater," Kurt said weakly, feeling suddenly sick to his stomach.

Leah scowled at Puck. "I don't get enough time with my family as it is and you are NOT going to spoil it. And Kurt, if you don't take a pancake, I'm switching your facial moisturizer with Preparation H."

"Smiley face it is, then," Kurt said with a sigh.

"So what's the plan today, you two?" Leah asked setting their pancakes on the table a few minutes later.

"We thought we'd stop by and see Burt and Carole," Matt said, drenching his pancakes in syrup.

"Like you could get away with being in town and NOT see them. Carole would kill me."

"And Burt would kill _me_," Puck said. "Seriously, that dude is scary when he's mad."

"Woe be unto he who incurs the wrath of Burt Hummel," Leah agreed. "You'd be fired. At the very least."

Kurt had to smile at that, but wished he hadn't seen so many examples of that first-hand growing up. How many times had his father gone off on someone on his behalf? But then, if the scene he made on the plane yesterday was any indication, the apple didn't fall too far from the tree when it came to defending their children.

"Speaking of, it's my morning to open the shop. I'd better get going." He turned to Leah. "I'll call you later. And you two wusses," he said turning to Matt and Kurt. "Don't do anything stupid and don't break shit."

"I've got a prize, don't I?" Leah said with a roll of her eyes as Puck left.

"You two have fun today," she said, wiping off the pans and putting them in the sink. "See you guys after rehearsal tonight," she said giving Matt and Kurt each a hug. "I've got to get ready for work."

"Oh my GOD!" Kurt said as he glanced at the last street sign they just passed. "Am I hallucinating? Did that sign say 'Sue Sylvester Way?"

"Indeed it did," Matt said with a sigh. "She blackmailed the mayor before she left town. I thought you knew about that."

Kurt just shook his head and sighed. It figured that Sue Sylvester would make it impossible to forget the fear she instilled during her reign before Mercedes took over the Cheerios.

It had been over a year since Kurt had last pulled into his old driveway, and he'd never admit it to anyone, not even Matt, but he _loved _being home. Sure, Chicago was a fun town to live in. The bright lights and city skyline were hypnotic and there was always something to do, but nothing was so comforting as driving past 'Hummel Tire and Lube.' Even if he knew his dad wasn't there today, he still half-expected to see his dad's old truck in the front.

Kurt sighed. Things had changed. There were three traffic lights from the school to the Hummel residence now instead of one. The old gas station he bought his first cheap bottle of wine from on his twenty-first birthday was all boarded up.

"What's that look about?" Matt asked when they came to the latest stoplight.

"Just surprised, that's all."

"About?"

"Everything's changing."

"You didn't expect Lima to be frozen in time, did you?" Matt asked, and Kurt once again found himself wondering how Matt always seemed to know the question without him having to ask it.

"Yes, I did," Kurt said.

Matt just shook his head and smiled. "You're crazy you know that?"

"You're the crazy one. You've put up with me for HOW many years now?"

"Sometimes you need a little crazy, you know?" Matt replied with a goofy grin on his face as they pulled up.

Kurt coughed. "Come on," he said. "Let's go inside and say hello."

"Get the hell in here, you two!" Burt said at the door before they could even ring the bell. "You're in town and you're not staying with your old man? Nice one, Kiddo."

"Oh come on, Dad. Mr. Schue passes this house on his way to work. We couldn't risk him seeing us."

"Sure wish you guys lived closer," Carole said, running up to hug Kurt. "Seems like we never get to see you these days."

"Thanksgiving wasn't _that_ long ago," Kurt protested.

"I know, I know…it's just getting a little lonely around here," Burt confessed. "And I hear there's a good house on that just went on the market just up the street," Burt said with wink. "Hint, hint."

"Daaaaad," Kurt protested. Burt had to smile. Kurt was HOW old now?

"Burt, they're adults. They're perfectly capable of making their own decisions. If they want to keep us hundreds of miles away from our grandbaby, that's their business," she said with a grin.

"Would it help if we promise to visit more often?" Matt asked weakly.

"Couldn't hurt," Burt said with a wink.

"By the way," Carole asked, hugging Matt. "Where _is_ my grandbaby?"

"Gee, thanks for the warm welcome," Matt said dryly, hugging her back. "She's got school. She'll be flying in on Thursday."

"Well, we're having a family dinner here when she gets in," Carole insisted. "Finn, Courtney, the kids, everyone!"

"Carole, um, thanks…but…" Matt tried to protest, but Carole was hearing none of it.

"No buts," she said. " I'm making a roast."

"Uh, Finn's been um…" Kurt began, not quite sure how to say that his step-brother was being held captive along with the members of his family who accompanied them as they spoke. "He's not available."

"We told you guys, we're trying to surprise Mr. Schue," Matt tried to explain. "We can't risk…"

"Oh, nonsense! I know Finn's not the brightest crayon in the box, but surprise or no, do you really expect me to go a whole visit without having dinner with my family while I've got the chance? At my age, how many more opportunities am I going to get?"

'_At my age…'_ Kurt thought. Both his dad and Carole had been using that phrase a lot lately. Their hair had gotten grayer every year, but that was really the only indication that his parents were now qualifying for senior discounts at all.

The fact that his father was now only going into the garage a few days a week though? That was retirement. Semi-retirement at the very least. Retirement was for old people. And Burt Hummel was NOT old.

But a glance at the pills on the kitchen counter told him that age was starting to get the better of him, and he made a mental note to make good on the promise of visiting more often.

"So what else have you guys got going today?" Burt asked.

"I promised the Changs we'd stop by," Matt said. And then he glanced over at Kurt. "After that, I don't know."

"Tell Susan I say hello, will you?" Carole asked. Matt nodded.

"And tell Jim the part for his Toyota just came in," Burt said.

"No shop talk, Burt. We don't get the boys here enough as it is!" Carole scolded.

"Rachel's coming in at 12:30," Kurt said rolling his eyes, but secretly excited at the prospect of being reunited with his old high school rival. "I think anyone who can make it is meeting us at the airport for lunch."

"And Matt, what about your parents?" Carole asked.

Matt looked at the ground. It had been ten years since Matt even drove past his house.

"Don't tell me they still won't talk to you?" Carole said. "Not even with BJ in the picture? That's just…that's awful."

"They just don't know what they're missing, Matt," Burt said. "You've made a great life for yourself. You're someone to be proud of, Kiddo. That's a great little girl you've got there and for her sake, I would've thought they'd have come to their senses by now."

"Yeah…well…" Matt said awkwardly looking at the floor, not knowing quite what to say.

"So you guys won't be staying for lunch, then?" Carole asked, and Kurt couldn't help but feel guilty at the slight disappointment in her voice.

"We're in town for the rest of the week," Matt said. "Why don't we all go out for lunch tomorrow?"

"That'd be great!" Burt said, brightening up a bit.

"So what's new with everyone?" Carole asked as she brought out a glasses and a pitcher of lemonade.

"Mercedes and Mike broke up again," Matt said, pouring himself a drink.

"That's news since when?" Carole said with a laugh. "Those two have made making up and breaking up an art form."

"And Tina's pregnant!" Kurt blurted out, and Carole almost dropped her glass at that.

Matt glared at him. "WHAT?" Suddenly glad that he hadn't taken a sip of his drink, because otherwise it would be spewed all over the Hummel living room.

"Oh come on!" Kurt insisted. "She was throwing up all the way back from the airport. She didn't have a glass of wine with dinner last night. What ELSE am I supposed to conclude?"

"Oh, I bet the Abrams' are so excited!" Carole said. "Do they know how far along she is?"

"She hasn't gone to the doctor yet to confirm that," Matt said, giving Kurt a pointed look. "Because she swears up and down she's not."

"Denial!" Kurt insisted in a sing-song voice. "I know about these things."

"Well, you _did_ know about the twins before Courtney did," Carole admitted.

Burt shook his head. "You're encouraging him, hon. Bad idea."

"Oh come on," Kurt protested. "You've gotta admit I'm a tad psychic when it comes to this subject."

"Try psychotic!" Matt fired back. "She told us that it's because of antibiotics!" Matt said.

"Yeah," Kurt scoffed. "Antibiotics. With Artie's eyes and Tina's smile."

With promises to be back tomorrow, Matt announced that they had to leave if they were going to stop by the Changs

"Matthew!" Mrs. Chang greeted as she came to the door, hugging Matt so tight he thought she was going to cut off his circulation. "So glad you two could stop by." She paused to hug Kurt and studied the boys as though they were going through inspection. "Kurt…you're too skinny. I don't like it. Doesn't Matthew make sure you get enough to eat?"

"I take good care of him, Susan," Matt said, smiling ruefully. It felt good to be here. True, he hadn't seen his parents in ten years, but every time he came back home, he paid the Changs a visit. It wasn't _home_, but it was the closest thing he had to it since his parents kicked him out after he came out of the closet.

"What's up, Bro?" Mike said as he sauntered into the living room, giving Matt a warm hug.

"Kurt, good to see you, too, man," Matt said, nodding his head in Kurt's direction and clapping him on the shoulder. "Didn't get to see you last night when I came in."

"Yeah…and we all know why," Kurt said. "Seriously, what happened with you and Mercedes this time?"

"Son," his mother said, putting a hand on his shoulder and shaking her head. "You're my boy and I love you, but if you're not doing everything you can to figure things out between you and her, then you're the biggest idiot on EARTH. I swear, you need to get your head on straight. You're a grown man now. I'm not going to be around forever, and you _need_ a good woman. She's a perfect match for you, Michael. She's smart, she's successful, she knows how to cook, and she'll take care of you and she _cares about you_. There are not a lot of women like her left in the world. I raised you better than to throw that all away over something stupid."

"I've been trying to tell Mercedes the same thing," Kurt said. "But what can you do?"

It surprised Matt a little to hear Mike's mother berate her son for breaking up for the umpteenth time with Mercedes. They were two women with very strong personalities and they often clashed as a result. The conflict was one of the reasons they broke up the second time (or was it the third? Matt had lost count a long time ago) , but Matt was glad to see that apparently Susan had come around. Now, if only Mike and Mercedes would do the same…but that really wasn't any of his business.

Mike sighed. "If it were up to _me_ I'd go back to her in a heartbeat Ma, but that was her decision this time."

"What am I going to do with you?" she muttered, shaking her head. And then she called upstairs. "Jim! Get down here! We have company!"

"Since when is Matt company?" Jim Chang said with a grin as he came downstairs. "How's it goin', Son?" he said, giving him a pat on the shoulder.

"Really good," Matt answered, still feeling a bit strange being referred to as 'son' by Mike's father, even though he'd heard it ever since the Changs took him in his Junior year in high school when he and Kurt first began dating.

"Kurt," Mr. Chang said shaking his hand. "Good to see you, too. It's been way too long."

"Dad says your part's in for your Toyota," he said, giving Jim a hug.

"You're gone for over a year and that's all you've got to say?" Jim said with a grin.

"Kurt's a celebrity!" Mrs. Chang said with a smile. "Surely you don't expect them to come home at the drop of a hat. But it would be nice to see that girl of yours before she's all grown up."

"Mike's the only celebrity I see in this room," Kurt insisted, and he felt like Mrs. Chang was just being kind referring to him along the same ranks as the people he worked for. Although there was a picture on their mantle at home of Kurt's win on the final season of _Project Runway_ featuring him with Tim Gunn, Heidi Klum, Michael Kohrs, and Nina Garcia along with Matt, Burt and Carole, and a cover of _Vanity Fair _featuring his dress worn by Paris Hilton, if most people outside of Lima were asked who Kurt Hummel was, they would've said: "Who?"

After all, _Project Runway_ had been off the air for years and although Kurt's name was mentioned in Red Carpet interviews every awards season, he wasn't exactly getting freebies at Starbucks just because he was a recognizable face.

Mike, on the other hand, who'd made a name for himself on _Dancing with the Stars, _had been mobbed at the airport if Matt's story when he got back from picking Mike up last night was any indication. Based off of his success, Mike had built a franchise of dance studios, and unless you lived in a cave, you knew all about Twinkle Toes Studios_. _It had become something of a rite of passage for many young wannabe dancers.

"So Mike, you coming with to the airport for lunch?" Matt asked hopefully. "We're all meeting Rachel there for a quick bite."

"Does that include you-know-who?"

"Yes," Kurt said rolling his eyes. "Mercedes will be there…but seriously, you know you had to face her at some point, right?"

Mike sighed. "Guess so."


	11. Chapter 11

If there was one saving grace about Rachel Berry, it was that she never changed. From the second she met them in baggage claim, Matt felt as if he was having a flashback to his high school years. Only this time, Rachel was marginally better dressed. After hugging all of them hello, Rachel had immediately began suggesting changes to "improve the performance and give Mr. Schue the best possible memory of his dedicated years of service."

It was a good thing Santana couldn't make it for lunch, Matt decided. Rachel and Kurt had engaged in six arguments before they had even been seated. Thanks to that, he owed Artie twenty dollars, and Matt was suddenly glad that this was the one time they actually showed restraint and kept the number _under_ ten. It's like they knew there was money riding on this. If Santana _had_ been able to make it, they would have never made it to the restaurant in the first place. She'd have killed them both on the way to the parking garage.

Adding to the already oh-so-pleasant atmosphere, Mercedes kept shooting Mike death-glares. True to her word, she wasn't actively trying to make things unpleasant for the rest of them, but it was impossible to miss the undercutting tension. Even the waiter gave them second looks every time he came near the table. Of course it probably didn't help any that Kurt had arranged it for Mike and Mercedes to sit across from each other. It was a good thing the knives on the table weren't sharpened, or else instead of heading toward the open house at the Schue's, they would probably be taking Mike to the ER.

"What the hell did you dude Bro?" Matt whispered to his best friend as they sat in the back of Artie's van. He was officially against the entire matchmaking plot Kurt was clearly about to enact. But, matchmaking was apparently the least of the potential problems. He was one hundred percent against being an accessory to murder. Plus, there was the little matter of the twenty bucks he had on them making up after the reunion concert. He wasn't about to lose forty dollars to Artie. There was no way he'd live it down. But still, even without the ulterior monetary motive, he still didn't want the entire rehearsal week to turn into World War III.

"She's never still this mad at you after talking to Kurt for hours," Matt said quiet enough so Kurt wouldn't hear. The last thing Matt needed was for his partner to think he was actually ENCOURAGING one of his crazy schemes.

Mike shrugged his shoulders as Artie pulled into the driveway. The Schue's had completed some renovations on the house since the last time Rachel had been home, so she insisted on seeing it herself when they got back to town. Matt couldn't think of a viable excuse to not come along quick enough, so here they were, ready to tour a home they had already spent countless hours in.

Throwing a cautious glance over his shoulder, Matt waited for Artie to maneuver himself out of the van and into the chair Mercedes had waiting for him. His friend's successful internet dating site meant Artie now had the best technology money could buy and more freedom than he had known in high school. But Artie was still the same calm, loyal friend he'd always.

Artie grinned up at Matt as they lagged behind the rest of the group. "So Kurt still thinks Tina's pregnant doesn't he?"

"Yes," Matt replied with a rueful smile. "And short of Tina taking a pregnancy test in front of him, I don't know what will convince him otherwise. I'm sorry man."

"Don't worry about it," Artie said with a wave of his hand as they made their way up the porch via the ramp Mr. Schue had built once game night became a weekly event. "It's funny when you think about it."

Matt stopped in the doorway as Artie wheeled past him. That was not the reaction he had been expecting. Normally when Kurt fixated on an idea (and he knew his partner was fixated on this one), their friends ran for the hills, hiding until Kurt calmed down and returned to a more logical train of thought. And while Artie tended to handle this sort of thing better than most of their circle, even he never said it was funny while it was still going on. Especially when the fixation involved him.

Seeing Mercedes and Kurt link arms as they moved further into the house, Matt shook his head. Something was going on. He just couldn't figure out what, but he would.

"Oh _hell_ no." Mercedes swore as she looked out the window in the master bedroom.

"I know this room is where Holly Hobby went to die but really 'Cedes the outside is quite nice." Kurt laughed.

"Not that. It's Mr. Schue!" She pointed out the window as the rest of them crowded around her. "He's not supposed to be here."

"He can't see us," Rachel exclaimed quickly as she ducked back behind the blue curtain. "The surprise will be ruined utterly."

"Thank you for stating the obvious Rachel," Kurt said dryly.

"Maybe Artie can stall him?" Matt asked looking around the room rapidly. "He might not have to come up here."

"We shouldn't chance it." Mike said as he shook his head. "I'm always in and out of town so I can distract him for a little bit, but you three? Should hide. Quickly."

Mercedes glanced around the room and pointed towards the closet doors. "There. You can all fit in there."

Kurt tried not to let his horror show on his face. Forced to re-create that camptastic R Kelly song with Rachel Berry as his co-star? This was the thanks he got for the years of supporting Mercedes and listening to her remarkably similar rants about Mike after each and every break up? Some best friend she turned out to be. He tried to voice his protest but Mike and Mercedes hurried all them into the closet and shut the door before he could even fully form the words.

"I've not been locked in a closet for years." Kurt muttered under his breath.

"I'm sorry you were ever _in_ the closet?" Matt laughed. "Was that like when you were first born or something?"

"Shhh" Rachel whispered forcefully. "He'll hear you."

"Yeah and your lack of understanding of what whisper means won't tip him off at all," Kurt quipped with a roll of his eyes, but did, however, lower his voice to a tiny outraged squeak.

The slats on the door allowed just enough light in to allow the trio to see their former teacher bound into the room and happily hug Mike and Mercedes hello. It also allowed Kurt to see just enough of Mr. Schue's wardrobe to realize that his former teacher's sweater vest obsession was just the tip of the fashion disaster. It was going to take some serious therapy to get this particular nightmare out of his head. "Oh, Lord, I love coming home, but some things? Sooo should change," Kurt said under his breath, and Rachel giggled, but Matt put a hand over her mouth and shushed them both.

"So when did you get into town Mike? Staying long?" Mr. Schue questioned, glancing happily between his two former students. And the three in the closet breathed a sigh of relief that they hadn't given away their hiding place.

"Got in last night," Mike smiled before shrugging his shoulders. "Not sure how long I'm staying for just yet. Hope to see the concert at the end of the week."

"I hope you can, too," he said, clapping his former student on his shoulder. "Santana has been putting the kids through their paces; although I'm sure Mercedes told you all about that." They could all make out Mr. Schue putting his hand on both of his former students' shoulders, still smiling broadly. "It's really great to see you two have finally decided to move forward and take the next step."

"The next step?" Mercedes questioned weakly while the three hidden friends all winced silently. Oh this was not going to end well for any of them.

"Well the realtor told me we had an appointment for a serious buyer this afternoon, so she suggested I stop by to be around if there were any questions. And when Artie told me you two were around somewhere…"

"Oh. Naw, Mr. Schue," Mike said as he shook his head quickly. "You've totally got the wrong idea. No we're not thinking of buying your house. Nope. Not us."

"Yeah," Mercedes replied with an aggravated sigh. Even in the limited light, no one missed the narrowing of Mercedes's eyes at Mike's rapid denial. "We'd have to be in a committed relationship with a future for _that_ to happen."

"Walk away. Just walk away bro," Kurt could barely make out Matt's whisper behind him but there was no mistaking the way his partner squeezed his shoulder to keep him from running out of the closet.

" 'Cedes…." Mike sighed. Mr. Schue took a step back, clearly realizing he had the wrong idea, and not only that, had but had made an ongoing problem flare up again.

"I'm sorry guys," their old teacher faltered. "Really. I just assumed…"

"No. Mr. Schue its fine," Mercedes said calmer than Kurt thought she was capable of managing given the circumstances. "I mean, now Mike and I know where we stand. Which is good. I mean, at least we figured this out before, God forbid, we had children to tie us down."

"Oh you idiot. You stupid stupid idiot," Kurt whispered. He didn't need to see the hurt expression flash across Mercedes's face or the stunned realization dawn on Mike to know what had sparked this latest break up. The venomous way his best friend had hissed out the last part of her statement said it all.

To hell with the surprise. He knew how much she'd wanted a family of her own, and Kurt just wanted race out there and hug her, but the pressure of Matt's and now Rachel's hands on his arms kept him back.

"You can kick his ass all you want at rehearsal." Matt whispered. "I'll even help you. But don't. Just don't."

"Mercedes I didn't …." Mike tried to say as he reached out to her, but she stormed past him, throwing his hand back at him.

With a sigh, Mike looked down at his feet. "I really screwed that one up didn't I?"

"I'm sorry Mike. I shouldn't have said anything." Mr. Schue apologized.

"No. You didn't know." Mike waved off the apology. "But can you do me a favor?"

"Sure. You know all you have to do is ask."

"Can you take Mercedes back to the school?" Mike asked hopefully. "I came with Artie and I don't think she really wants to be near me right now."

"Yeah. Sure." Mr. Schue nodded quickly. "Not a problem. I'll just go ask her now then."

"Thanks. Tell Artie I'll be down in a minute. It's probably best we don't see each other right now if you want your breakables to remain unbroken."

"Emma would appreciate that. We'll have to get together at a better time when you're in town. Game night?"

"Maybe. If 'Cedes doesn't want to still kill me." Mike promised as he waved a farewell to his former teacher. Waiting a second he moved towards the door to make sure the older man had gone down the stairs. "Ok it's safe but keep quiet. He hasn't left yet."

"You." Kurt hissed as they finally emerged from the closet. "I know you did not say something that vile to _my_ Mercedes."

"I can't even help you with this one." Matt held up his hands in surrender. "You're a moron."

"Really Mike," Rachel seethed, "I would have expected such a statement from Noah, but you have always struck me as someone with a higher level of class." Rachel huffed crossing her arms in front of her.

"I didn't mean it like that. " Mike protested.

"Well yes because of course there are _so_ many ways to take statements about children tying you down," Kurt said as he rolled his eyes.

The remaining crowd winced as a loud slam echoed through the house, indicating Mercedes and Mr. Schue had left. Going to the window, Rachel managed to peak out of the corner and nodded. "They just got into the car," she turned around and narrowed her eyes at Mike, "Which is excellent because I feel as the only female present I really need to yell at you considering matters involving female reproductive anatomy."

"And as Mercedes's best friend, I am obligated to give you a smack-down that would make an rerun of _Real Housewives of New York_ look like _The Brady Bunch_," Kurt chimed in as he gestured towards the door. "We might as well get this all yelled out before rehearsal."

"Right. That would be a tragic waste of valuable time," Rachel agreed.

"And besides," Kurt huffed. "We don't want to frighten the children."

Under any other circumstances, Matt might have marveled at the fact that Kurt and Rachel were (for once) in agreement and felt sorry for his best friend as Mike hung his head and followed Rachel and Kurt down the stairs. But so far, Mike deserved this lecture, and if a lecture was the worst that they would do to him for this latest turn of events, it would be more mercy than Mike deserved. Of course now that he knew what started this particular break up, he was more confident that he was going to win that bet with Artie. No way would Mercedes forgive him for something that stupid before the concert. Matt made a mental note to find a way to thank Mr. Schue for his unfortunate foot-in-mouth moment. If he hadn't have come home, they never would have…

Matt's brow crinkled in confusion as the reason Mr. Schue gave for his presence came back to him. There had been an appointment made with the realtor? With a serious buyer? Matt closed his eyes as the pieces began to fall into place.

Artie's calmness about Kurt's obsession over the state of Tina's uterus was beginning to make sense now, along with the little information drops from Leah about Burt and Carole getting older and the decision to go see a house they had all been to countless times before. Mr. Schue may be the one moving, but it was becoming abundantly clear that apparently their friends didn't want the Schuester family to be the only ones to move.

Their friends were trying to convince them to move back to Lima.

It was as if the rest of the conspirators had realized Matt had figured them out. The rest of the day passed in a blur, dominated mainly by his complete inability to have twenty seconds alone with Kurt to tell him about The Great Moving Plan.

He had thought the rehearsal would have given him at least an opportunity, but when Kurt wasn't yelling at Mike, he was either comforting Mercedes or arguing with Rachel about who was over-singing and who was deliberately switching keys to get out of singing a duet.

Although the looks of terror that were shared among the current members of New Directions were amusing to behold, Matt had to admit. Every last one of them had probably seen the video of the national championship performance and were now puzzling how that had been possible considering two of the key members could barely be in the same room without killing each other.

After rehearsal, there was dinner at Puck and Leah's, which also included Quinn, Santana and Brittany offering up suggestions of baby names to Tina. (Ashley from Quinn, Gloria from Santana, and Sprinkles from Brittany). Matt had rolled his eyes when Kurt shot him a triumphant glance when Tina barely protested the suggestions. Of course the rest of them would fuel this insanity. They probably figured it would distract Kurt from their real mission, and that plan certainly seemed to be working.

In fact it wasn't until everyone had left, the last dish had been cleared and they had retired to the guest room did Matt even have the chance to discuss his theory with Kurt. And of course Kurt was in complete denial of the entire thing.

"Wow, you're paranoid," Kurt said. "They are not involved in an elaborate conspiracy to get us to move back home." Kurt scoffed. "And when exactly did you become the drama queen here?"

"I am perfectly sane." Matt argued. "If you weren't so distracted by Mike's stupidity and trying to prove Tina is pregnant when she's _not_, you would have heard the same thing I did. Mr. Schue came back to the house because there was supposed to be a potential buyer there. Artie and Tina designed their house. Mercedes bought her new place not that long ago. And if he and Mercedes are on the outs, Mike stays with his folks. We were the only ones there for an _open house_ Kurt. And not to mention, who has open houses on Tuesday afternoons?"

"Even if you're right, and I'm not saying that you are" Kurt began. Matt smiled as he recognized one of the few ways Kurt would ever admit to being wrong. "Why does that upset you so much? It wouldn't be the first time they tried it. There was a big push after BJ came home."

"True." Matt allowed. "But this time they're using tactics seemed to be designed to get _you _to want to come back. And if you weren't so distracted, I think you'd be seriously considering it."

Kurt sat down slowly on the bed, looking directly into Matt's eyes. "And you think they're trying to get to me because they know you wouldn't. Because you've never really thought about moving back home one day."

"No." Matt agreed. "I haven't. Our jobs are in Chicago. We have friends there."

"We have friends here. And we can move our jobs here if we wanted to." Kurt countered easily.

"And BJ? She's lived in Chicago her whole life. She's been pretty much promised a starting position on the varsity squad as a sophomore next year. Moving would mean uprooting her from her friends, her school, and her teams."

She may drive most of her teachers completely crazy, but BJ actually did do very well in school, if for no other reason than to keep her eligibility for volleyball intact. Ever since she started playing in the third grade, volleyball was BJ's reason to do well in school. And their daughter was good, even great at it, and both Matt and Kurt knew it was more than just them being proud parents. In addition to her school team, she also played in an AAU summer league. The idea of moving back to Lima would disrupt her entire athletic endeavor, something she would not take lightly, and something she'd probably never forgive them for.

"Right. Which is why we've never discussed this," Kurt pointed out quickly, standing up. "And when they eventually get around to more blatant hints, which they always do in these situations, that's exactly what we'll tell them."

Matt sighed and went to wrap his arms around Kurt from behind. "I'm sorry. I know you've thought about this clearly."

"It's all these trips down memory lane," Kurt protested, resting his hands on top of Matt's. "I'll be fine when we go back home. And that's Chicago. I know that."

"We can always visit more," Matt offered.

Kurt nodded his agreement. "There is that. Plus," Matt didn't need to see Kurt's face to know that his partner's face had broken into a mischievous grin, "since we've figured this out, we can now torture them for the rest of the week."

Matt laughed, hugging Kurt a little closer to him. "I suggest we start with Leah and Puck. Those noises we keep hearing at night are going to drive me back into therapy."

"No argument there."


	12. Chapter 12

It was their third night at the Puckerman house, and so far, every night Kurt and Matt had been woken up to what could only have been interpreted as sex noises. And that night had been no exception.

"Yeah, that's right," Kurt could make out, "It's time for a tune up!"

"Thirty-six point inspection?" Puck was saying.

"Matt and Kurt are in the next room!" Leah protested.

"I kinda think it's kinky," Puck said.

"Eew. That's my brother."

"Ok, just pretend it's Britt and Santana staying over instead."

"Like that's supposed to make it sexy?"

"Oh come on, you know you wanna crank that engine up," Puck was saying. Kurt rolled his eyes, knowing what was no doubt in store.

"Oh, that's it, Mr. Goodwrench," Leah was almost-yelling within a couple of seconds. "Rotate those tires."

"Ohhhhh yeah, baby, get ready for the spare…" Puck was saying

"Work that crankshaft, baby!" Leah yelled out.

"Ohhhh yeah, make that carburater purr," Leah replied.

The first night it happened, Matt and Kurt both had to stuff their heads in the pillows.

"Oh my GOD," Kurt had said that first night. "I don't think I'm going to be able to pass a Mr. Goodwrench anymore without busting out laughing," Kurt said through giggles.

"Oh GOD that'll be an awkward conversation with BJ," Matt replied.

"Nooooo kidding…." Kurt said

"And if I can get an oil change with a straight face from here on out, be very proud of me," Matt said finding it hard not to laugh loud enough for Puck and Leah to hear them.

Which of course only made them laugh harder.

But by the second night, it had gotten old, fast.

"Happyplacehappyhappyplace!" Kurt squeaked in the guest room next door.

"Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop!" Matt muttered with his head stuffed under the pillow next to him.

"Please, can we see if 'Cedes will let us crash on her couch tomorrow?" Kurt pleaded.

"And crush Leah?" Matt countered. "No way! Besides…Puck's not exactly a long-distance runner. It'll stop…" Matt breathed a sigh of relief as silence filled the room. "…there."

"I'm calling my therapist first thing in the morning," Kurt said. "I'm not kidding. I'm scarred for life here."

"You're scarred? That's MY sister," Matt said. "And…PUCK. Seriously…I know Puck's not a bad guy, but still he's…"

"TRUST me…I know…" Kurt finished, resting his hand on Matt's bare chest, nestling his head on its usual spot on Matt's shoulder.

"Kurt…" Matt said in an almost-whisper, pulling Kurt close to him. "I know you gave up your dream for me, and I see how homesick you get…and well…you know if it weren't for BJ…"

Kurt propped his head up with his elbow on the pillow so he could lock eyes with Matt. "The way I see it, I didn't give up anything. I have a job I love. I have BJ. I have you. I think I made the right decision."

"You wouldn't have even considered Chicago if it weren't for me."

"And if I hadn't made that choice," Kurt replied, cupping Matt's face in his hands, "I wouldn't have anything that makes life worth living,"

Matt couldn't help it. Sister's house or no, Matt was reminded once again just how amazing his partner was, and needed to tell him in a way that words could not. Matt's lips collided with Kurt's and their tongues fought for dominance as Matt's hands ran through Kurt's hair and Kurt's fingertip traced Matt's spine just before he teased at the drawstring of Matt's pajamas…

"It's time for a Three Thousand Mile Check-up," Puck's voice came from the other side of the wall.

And Kurt and Matt hadn't separated that fast since their teenage days in Kurt's old basement.

* * *

"What time does BJ's flight get in again?" Matt asked as he was getting ready the next morning.

"Not until 2:30, I think," Kurt said, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, and although he knew she would drive him crazy the minute she landed, he was ridiculously excited to see his daughter again. The first time she went off to Volleyball Camp when she was ten, he'd been too depressed to get out of bed for three days, and spending more than a couple of nights away from her never got easier.

"You know the minute she lands we're never going to get so much as a hello," Matt said with a sigh. "Especially if everyone comes with us. Because you know Puck's going to kick our asses if we don't let him come along."

"I think you and I can take him. I feel like I haven't seen you at all since we've gotten here. And I know she's going to want to see everyone, but…"

"You've missed her…I know," Matt said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Me too."

"Which is why I suggest we keep the fact that we're picking her up to ourselves," Kurt said. "And plus, if it's just us, it gives me a chance to pick up a few things for Tina."

"Why do I suddenly feel sorry for Tina?" Matt said with a wicked grin.

"Oh come on, like I was going to let this die. They're going to pull out all the stops. Why shouldn't we? Oh hey," Kurt said, eyes lighting up, "think BJ would get in on the act?"

"I'm glad we're on the same side," Matt said, putting his arms around him. "Because sometimes I forget how evil you can be."

"What else do you want to do today before rehearsal tonight?" Kurt asked.

Matt put his hands around Kurt's neck and pulled him in for a kiss, running his hands through Kurt's hair, hands moving around to cup his face. It was urgent and hungry, and Kurt returned it in kind. Last night was the first time in DAYS they'd done anything in that department, and it had been abruptly cut off.

"I feel like I've just found an oasis in the desert," Kurt said breathlessly, before kissing Matt again.

Matt nibbled on Kurt's earlobe and whispered, "We should find someplace quiet. You know…get out of here," Kurt's breath hitched as Matt's lips moved lower.

"Funny," Kurt said as he directed them in the direction onto the bed. "I was thinking we should just stay in."

"Oh my GOD," Kurt said as he watched the passengers of Flight 423 from Chicago file into the airport. "The amount of fashion disasters on this plane makes me cranky."

Matt just shook his head as he anxiously scanned the passengers coming off the plane. "Putting up with Puck and Leah noises every night was making ME cranky. Oh damn, the therapy we're going to have to put BJ in after that is NOT going to be cheap."

"Send Puck the bill," Kurt said. His face lit up and he pointed in the direction of the terminal. "There she…" and then his expression turned into one of horror. "Oh my GOD."

"So didjya miss me?" Their daughter chirped as she came bounding up to them, and Matt finally realized what Kurt was freaking out about: streaks of purple running through her hair.

"What. Did. You. Do?" Kurt demanded. "It looks like you soaked some of your air in Koolaid!" he said, taking her backpack from her and digging around for her baseball cap. "Here. Put this on. I will NOT have you walking around in public like that. It's just…wrong…on sooooo many levels."

"What he means, Bumblebee, is that he's insanely glad to see you," Matt said grinning down at her. She took the cap from Kurt and put it on her head., and hugged him around the neck.

"Funny, Papa, I just thought Daddy was insane," she said laughing.

"Missed you too," she said hugging Kurt.

"Are you TRYING to send me to an early grave?" Kurt asked, but is eyes were dancing with amusement.

"Yes. That is my goal in life because you know all I'm after here is the inheritance money so I can drop out of school and open up my own chain of toe sock stores."

Kurt just shook his head. "Come on, Baby-girl, let's go get your luggage and go home." Matt shot Kurt a questioning look. "Oh, you know what I meant," Kurt insisted.

"Well, I don't. Wanna clue me in?"

"It seems that your aunts and uncles have launched a conspiracy involving us moving to Lima," Matt explained. "Our old teacher's got a new gig in Washington State. They're trying to convince us to buy the Schue place."

"Oh NO!" BJ shrieked. "I mean, I love everyone and all…but oh my GOD I'd die of boredom."

"Don't worry, BJ. We're not taking them UP on the suggestion," Kurt said quickly. "But they didn't even TRY to stop me from believing that your Aunt Tina is preggers, and I fully intend to let them keep believing that, so we have to make a stop at Babies 'R' Us on the way ho…" Kurt stopped himself. "Back."

"So do you want to stay at Aunt Leah and Uncle Puck's during the rehearsal, or would you rather come with?"

"Yeah, like I'd let the last rehearsal for Uncle Will's concert go without my valuable insight," BJ said as Matt got her suitcase off belt.

* * *

"Alright people, listen up!" Santana said to the group. "I hate making speeches. So I'm just going to say two words to you guys. Don't suck."

"I think what she's trying to say here," Rachel piped up, "is that we want to give the best teacher in the world the best send-off possible. I mean, I think it's safe to say for all the adults in the room that we wouldn't know where we'd be without Mr. Schue's guidance. Some of us," she said, smiling at Artie and Tina and then at Matt and Kurt, "found true love. For all of us, we found a place where we all belong and people we can count on no matter what. We truly are a family in every sense of the word."

"I can attest to that," BJ piped up.

"Thank you for that input, Bethany," BJ rolled her eyes. "Now, we all know it's been a long week, and we've put our hearts and souls into this performance, and although at times Kurt, you've gone a little flat, and at times, Finn, your rhythm is off and I don't know who it is of you guys," she said pointing to the kids, "but someone is always missing the cue in the all-important final number, but tomorrow night's going to be…AMAZING.. Just keep your eyes on the ball tonight guys. And I just have to say that…"

"Rachel," Santana interrupted. "It's only a two-hour rehearsal. Shut the hell up. PLACES EVERYONE!"

"Ok, let's begin here with the first group number."

A waifish-looking Asian kid began the first verse. "It's so…and the rest of the group joined in, "hard…to say goodbye…"

BJ thought he was a freak of nature. A little bitty kid like him? With a deep voice like that? It was insane.

"Chase, can we pick up the tempo on _Everybody Fits_?" Santana asked the accompanist. Chase was a tall boy with coffee-colored skin. He sat at the piano like he was born on the bench, and had large hands and broad shoulders. BJ thought he might've been handsome if it hadn't been for the thick glasses and the afro he sported.

Chase just grinned. "Ms. Lopez, if I can play the third movement of Beethoven's _Moonlight Sonata_ in my sleep, I think I can pick up the tempo on a piece from an old, cheesey off-Broadway show."

"Next time, kid, just say yes ma'am."

"Yes Ma'am," Chase said with a grin.

BJ instantly hated him.

"Alright, people, let's not screw up the rhythms, please."

"Yuumm Yum" Rachel clapped, singing to the tune of _Don't Stop Believin' _"Cheeesebuuurger, frosted donuts and a fryyyy"

"Wait, when did we start talking about dinner?" Finn asked.

"It's a pedagogical method," Rachel explained, and everyone looked at her as though she were speaking a foreign language.

"Still lost on the whole dinner thing…" Artie said.

"It's a way to teach rhythm. Each division of the beat is a different food item," she said as though it was supposed to make perfect since. "Allow me to demonstrate. Pianist, give me a Middle C please." She inhaled and clapped with each syllable. "Blueberry cobbler blueberry cobbler, cheeseburger cheeseburger and-a fry yuuuuum." Now, Chase, play the rhythm I just sang. She smiled, which he did flawlessly. "See?"

"Damn, now I'm hungry," Puck said.

"Wait," Brittany said, "why are notes yummy? I thought they were printed on paper. I tried eating paper once in first grade. It was gross."

"Rachel, so help me if you open your mouth one more time if it's not to sing your parts, I'm cutting your solo," Santana said.

"You wouldn't!"

"Just get it right, people!"

Two hours later, everyone was ready to go, and famished thanks to Rachel's teaching method.

"Dinner tonight is at the Hummel house, everyone," Kurt announced at the end. "If anyone needs directions, just ask Santana."


	13. Chapter 13

"Where are they?" Tina worried as she paced behind her husband. The party had clearly started at the Hummel house, but Kurt, Matt and BJ were nowhere in sight. Not that it was especially easy to see everyone considering the crowd streaming through the house right now, but BJ's new hair streaks were definitely eye-catching. Tina smiled as she recalled Kurt's attempt to blame her for his daughter's latest fashion choice. "Seriously," she said frowning at her husband, "we've come too far along on this for it to be blown now. If they don't get here soon, the Schue's will see them."

"Calm down Tee," Artie said as he grabbed her hand. "It's possible they saw the Schuemoble and decided to take the long way around. Or Kurt forced them to take a trip to the salon to get the streaks out of BJ's hair. They'll be here."

"I just want this all to go perfectly." Tina sighed. "It would totally suck to get this close to pulling this whole thing off and it not happen because Kurt had to throw a fit about something."

"They'll be here." Artie reassured her again with a smile. "And there will be a perfectly logical explanation for their lateness. They'll be here."

The loud bang of the front door hitting the wall caused everyone to turn see BJ run in. "About damn time!" Puck crowed, moving through the crowd to greet his niece, and then his jaw dropped at what BJ brought in with her. He just looked at Artie, and his friend could only shake his head.

Artie's triumphant "I told you so" died in his throat when he noticed the bundle of balloons that BJ was holding in her hands. A bundle that included one that had "Congratulations" in baby blue, and another one that read: "A New Baby" and one truly terrifying creation that he assumed was meant to resemble a stork mixed in with bigger-than-life balloons in pastel colors.

"OH MY GOD!" BJ yelled. "Aunt Tina! I'm sooo excited!"

Artie could only shake his head.

With a speed only know to excited teenaged girls, their niece hurled herself at his wife. As the rest of the party looked on with a mixture of confusion and amusement on their faces, Artie shot a glare at his old friends walking in behind their daughter. Both Kurt and Matt had smiles on their faces and bags in their hands. Artie felt his heart speed up as he could make out the shape of a teddy bear on one of the bags and that damn stork on another. 'Oh they wouldn't. They didn't,' Artie kept repeating to himself in disbelief.

"I just found out! I'm getting a new cousin! So so so awesome! Just promise me you won't let Uncle Finn have any say in the name because you know, hello so in therapy over his little nickname but _still_. This is so great! You're going to have a baby!"

And they did.

It had been mildly amusing when Tina had told him Courtney's idea to let Kurt think she was pregnant to further The Great Move Plan. There really was nothing more hysterical to watch than Kurt working himself into a perfect fit and Matt's slow burn of exasperation as logic was ignored. And honestly, Courtney was right. It was the perfect distraction. But now they had apparently told BJ about the non-existent baby. How exactly were they going to get out of this one?

"Tina? You're pregnant?" Finn asked, a wide smile on his face as he moved towards them. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Artie cringed as he remembered no one had fully informed Finn on the entire plan. Not that Finn wouldn't be supportive and wouldn't help. He would. They just ran the risk of Finn inadvertently tipping their hand to Kurt or Matt. Finn wasn't exactly the most subtle when he had news. Artie clearly remembered Kurt swearing on a stack of _Vogue_ magazines everyone knew that Courtney was pregnant the first time just by the way Finn was fidgeting in his seat and glancing at her stomach every three seconds. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Courtney cringe. Great. Now they had to explain to both BJ and Finn this was all an elaborate ruse for some plan Artie had told them wasn't going to work. If Matt and Kurt wanted to move back to Lima, they would have done it years ago.

"Mrs. Abrams is pregnant?" Emmaline Fraiser, one of the newest members of New Directions piped up. "That's great!"

A round of "congratulations" and "cool" echoed between twelve youthful voices as BJ ran back to her fathers and took the bags from their hands. 'Oh even better,' Artie thought as he shook his head. Now Tina was going to have to combat the school gossip chain tomorrow morning. This night was just getting better and better. Grinning broadly as she returned, BJ proudly presented the bags, one to each of them.

"Sorry we were late but clearly, have to be the first ones to get you guys something. And I totally promise that when I come to visit during the summer and stuff, I'll babysit. Just keep me in mind for godmother ok? Cause really, who would be a better role model than me? No one that's who."

As Artie and Tina looked helplessly between the bags in their hands and Finn's excited smile, BJ slipped back to where Matt and Kurt stood. Trying to keep from laughing, she exchanged a discrete high five with both of them.

"That's my girl." Kurt whispered proudly.

* * *

"Bethany! You get over here right now so I can hug you." Susan Chang announced from the kitchen doorway.

If anyone else in the crowd had used her full name, she would have groaned and refused to answer. But it was different for Grandma Susan. She called everyone by their full name, no exceptions. Smiling, BJ put down the two liter she had been pouring from and made her way towards the pair waiting for her.

"Grandma Susan! Grandpa Jim! How are you?" She asked as she hugged them both.

"Never you mind about me. Let me look at you." Susan stepped back to study her for any changes between Thanksgiving and now. Feeling uncomfortable with the close scrutiny, BJ chewed her lip while rubbing the top of her foot on her calf. "You are too skinny. You are clearly not eating."

"She's a star athlete." Jim shushed his wife. "She eats. She just burns it all off. Gets that from her Uncle Mike. How's your team looking Darlin?"

"My AAU team looks pretty good. We should do decent in tournaments this summer. As for school?" BJ shrugged her shoulders. "We'll do ok during the regular season and get creamed once we get to regionals. So the usual."

"Well if they would use you more, they would do better." Susan said stubbornly.

"I heard a rumor my goddaughter is trying to hide from me." BJ smiled as Mike came up behind his parents. She barely noticed the scrawny little soloist from the earlier rehearsal squeeze past the family reunion to enter the kitchen.

"I would never do that Uncle Twinkle." She giggled as he sighed at her use of his nickname. He may act like he hated it, but she knew better. "Besides I heard Auntie M is the one hiding from you. "

"Your dads have big mouths. And she's not hiding from me."

"Yes she is." BJ and Susan answered together. As Mike rolled his eyes, the two women laughed as Susan put her arm around BJ's shoulders. "See?" BJ continued. "I'm always right. The quicker you learn this, the happier you'll be. Just ask Papa and Daddy."

"And I'm sure they would agree with that sentiment whole heartedly." Mike laughed as he pulled her in for a hug. "It's been too long Little B."

"That's not my fault! You're the one who refuses to stay in one place for too long. I've been in Chicago doing my thing. You're the one who never invites me anywhere."

"You wound me." Mike leaned back on his heels, miming being shot in the heart. "Kurt taught you how to twist that guilt knife well."

"We both know that was Aunt Leah, Grandma Carole and Grandma Susan."

"I do not guilt trip you!" Susan exclaimed outraged as her son and husband laugh.

"Sure you don't Ma. And you weren't just plotting ways to convince BJ to come over to dinner tomorrow so you can fatten her up." Mike laughed. "But I didn't just come here to see BJ. Burt and Carole are looking for you guys."

"Well I guess we better go find them." Susan turned to hug BJ again. "Bethany don't think you are going back home to Chicago without coming by the house. I don't care what Mathew tells me, I know you three aren't eating enough."

"Yes Grandma. I'm sure you're on the list." BJ promised as the other three moved back towards the living room. There was probably at least one meal with every member of her extended family before they got back on the plane Sunday night. She was going to gain twenty pounds over the next three days, she could already tell.

"I'm sorry but did you just call her Grandma?"

BJ twirled around to see the scrawny soloist with the crazy bass voice standing by the kitchen sink. "Yeah. "

"She's your Grandma? And I'm sorry did I hear you call Mike Chang Uncle Twinkle?"

"Yeah that's his name."

The kid shook his head. "Is this a New Directions post graduation thing we don't understand yet?"

BJ couldn't help but laugh. "Probably. What's your name? I saw you at the rehearsal. You were good."

"Thanks." He nearly glowed with pride. "Neil Lei. I saw you there. Bethany right?"

"Uh no. BJ. BJ Rutherford. Only Grandma Susan, Aunt Rachel and my dads when I'm in trouble use Bethany."

"Your dads?" Neil quirked an eyebrow upwards. "Wait. Rutherford. Matt Rutherford and Kurt Hummel right? I've met them this week."

"Right. They're my dads. And yes, Daddy is always that way when Aunt Rachel is close by. Papa swears they've gotten better since high school but I think he's making that up."

"Alright so they're your dads but I'm still lost as to why that was your grandparents and uncle."

"Ok, so here's the deal...it's not that complicated. So Daddy and Uncle Finn are Stepbrothers. Uncle Finn's mom is my Grandma Carole because she and Papa B got married, like, ages ago. Papa and Uncle Twinkle, who is my godfather, were as good as brothers growing up, and he's my godfather, and the Changs adopted Papa. Well kinda adopted him but not really. It's a long story there."

Neil shook his head. "Oh this is the short version?" he said with an amused smile.

"And then Aunt Leah's Papa's sister, who's married to Uncle Puck. Auntie M...I mean, Coach Jones...that's Daddy's bestie, and Aunt Quinn is my godmother. And all of my dads' old friends from Glee when it first formed kind of stayed in touch, and it's just easier when we all get together if I can just call all of them Aunt and Uncle even if they aren't TECHNICALLY related."

"Yeah that's not complicated at all." Neil shook his head.

"Hey just be glad my cousins are all my actual cousins. You'd really be lost if any of the rest of them had kids yet."

"Wait. Didn't you just say Mrs. Abrams is pregnant?"

"Oh no," BJ waved off his question. "That was just a payback for trying to trick my family into moving back from Chicago. They don't know that we figured out their whole plan. So it was just for fun."

"I'm not sure I understand all that, but remind me to never get on your bad side."

"You are one smart cookie Neil. I think we're going to get along great."

* * *

At a party with twenty-four current and former show choir members, it was probably inevitable at some point in the night, music would be part of the evening. To be more specific, the need to show off had arisen and it seemed no one was safe. Even the so-called adults had succumbed to the urge.

After all, it was a time-honored tradition for the original New Directions to show off their moves when "_We Want the Funk_" came on, so the ensuing dance battle that arose really wasn't _that _unexpected, at least to the original twelve and their respective family members. Although he had publically celebrated their win with the rest of their friends, privately Matt felt the younger crowd was just in awe of being so close to Mike. He had bowed out once the stereo had been turned off and the singing had started. He hadn't really sung since graduation and saw no reason to embarrass himself any more than he already had.

After an entire week of focusing on blending their voices together, there was now a desire to show off individual gifts. The pianist from rehearsal, Chase, had taken over the Hummel's old upright piano and was taking requests. It was amazing the instrument was in tune at all since Matt was pretty sure no one had touched it since JoBeth had left for college, but somehow Matt didn't think it would have mattered. The confidence radiating from the teen on the bench made Matt think he would have found a way to make the old piano sound good. So far he had been able to play most of the suggestions thrown at him or catch up quickly enough once someone started singing. He hadn't been completely stumped once, although clearly the other teenagers were actively trying to do exactly that.

Scanning the assembled crowd, he found BJ perched on the arm of Burt's favorite recliner, giggling over something with Neil, the latest captain of New Directions. They had walked into the kitchen separately but had emerged the best of friends. The two of them had been joined at the hip for most of the party. And it had surprised Matt none to hear most of the more obscure suggestions for songs to come from his daughter's mouth. He hadn't missed the way BJ rolled her eyes every time Chase said something near her. What the other teen had done to irritate his daughter was a mystery, but it was plain as day he had done something.

Any further musings were interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell. Seeing as no one else seemed to be moving and since he was closest to the door, Matt went to open it. Standing on the porch, a vaguely familiar face greeted him. For some reason, Matt could see this person with dreadlocks and glasses, but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why. "Hi," He greeted with a warm smile that soon turned into one of puzzlement as he tried to figure out where he had seen this person before. "I guess you're here for one of the kids?"

The way to the Hummel house was well known to anyone whose child spent time in the choir room. Near the end of sophomore year, Burt and Carole had formed a Booster's Club in part to help keep Figgins from pulling the funding plug on them again. And even though their children had long since graduated, they remained the unofficial parents to just about every choir geek who came through McKinley's halls.

"Yes," he said, wearing a puzzled expression that Matt was sure matched his own. "Although I'm sure it will take awhile. That's why I'm a bit earlier than I told him." The other man laughed; a deep fully throated chuckle that instantly brought back memories of long ago study sessions in the main library on OSU's campus.

"Terry? Terry Parker?" Matt questioned.

"Matt Rutherford!" Terry exclaimed with a wide smile on his face. "I was trying to figure out where I knew you from. How are you? I haven't seen you since what? Graduation?"

"Yeah something like that," Matt nodded, recalling the blur that was his last two weeks as an undergrad. His entire life was sandwiched between finals and getting ready to move to Chicago. He had barely had time to breathe, much less exchange the usual promises of keeping in touch. "What are you doing in Lima?"

"Do you remember Clara?"

"Your girlfriend right? The nursing major?" Matt asked, remembering a tiny slip of a girl with hair she kept in tight brown curls.

"Yes. She's my wife now and she's one of the nursing administrators over at St. Rita's. So I started a small clinic near the edge of town. Doing pretty well. Pull in a lot of clients from the surrounding counties as well. A lot of crisis stabilization and transition back from mental hospital type work. What about you? Last I heard you were going to Chicago."

"Still up there actually. Came back for Mr. Schue's goodbye concert, so this is just a short visit to see friends and family."

"Did I know you were a singer? 'Cause if you're here, you were clearly part of New Directions."

"I'm not a singer. I was a dancer mainly. And that was a long time ago."

"Sure. I remember you protesting too much." Terry nodded. "So what are you up to in Chicago?"

"Working at a local behavioral hospital, been there for years actually. Primarily with adolescents and pre-teens."

"Interested in moving? I can't get anyone to stick with our teens long enough to do any good work."

Matt chuckled. "No. Can't say that we are, but thanks for the offer."

"We? So you finally gave up the hermit's life?"

"I wasn't that bad," Matt protested. It wasn't that he was a hermit exactly. Putting one's self through college did not leave much time for a social life.

"Close enough." Terry shrugged with a smile.

"Well you remember me mentioning Kurt right?" Given that he had worked his way through college, when he hadn't been in class, Matt had been working. There was no traveling on the weekends to see each other for them. As a result, very few of Matt's friends at OSU had ever met Kurt.

"Oh just a time or two."

"Funny. I forgot about your sense of humor. Anyways, we're together. He's the one trying not to strangle the brunette whose singing," Matt said as he nodded in the direction of the piano where Rachel was currently holding court with a version of "_Without You_" from _Rent__. _He had a sneaking suspicion she was trying to pitch the ballad as an encore performance for tomorrow. Judging by the look on his partner's face, Kurt had the exact same idea he had. Pointing over the other side of the room where BJ was pointing something out to Neil, Matt smiled. "And the one with the purple hair is BJ, our daughter."

"A girl?" Terry shook his head. "Our boys are more than enough for us. They're good kids and I love them but I don't know if I could handle a girl. You are a braver man than I am."

"Boys? So you have more than one?"

"Two. David's a senior this year. Looking to go to OSU next fall like his folks. And Chase is at the piano holding court as usual." Terry pointed towards his son, who was soaking up applause as he finished the song for Rachel.

"He's good. I've heard him all week."

"I can't believe you've been here a week and this is the first we've seen each other." Terry grinned as he clapped his hand on Matt's shoulder. "It's been way too long and I know Clara will want to see you and meet your family. When are you all leaving? Maybe we can do dinner or something?"

"That would be great but we're pretty booked solid between now and Sunday." Matt admitted. "But we'll be back. My sister teaches at McKinley and almost all of Kurt's family is still in town."

"Before I leave, make sure I get your contact information." Terry squeezed his shoulder. "Next time you all are in town, we'll get together."

"You're on."


	14. Chapter 14

**No we didn't forget about you all...real life became unexpectedly ass-kicking these past few weeks. So this is later than intended...but we also wanted it good you know? Anyways...more to come soonish! **

"RUGRATS ARE OUTTA HERE!" Santana cried triumphantly as the last current member of New Directions left for the night, much to BJ's regret.

"NOW WE'VE GOT A PARTY!" Puck yelled, emerging from the back door with two cases of beer and Leah appearing close behind him with bottles of vodka and rum and plastic cups.

Burt got his Wild Turkey from the top of the fridge, Carole broke out a bottle of Mad Housewife Merlot and poured a glass for her, Leah, Courtney, and Susan Chang while Burt busied himself with shot glasses for him, Finn, Matt, Mike, Artie, Puck and Jim.

With the Glee kids gone since it was way past their curfew, Kurt was left to take over Chase's rightful seat on the piano, and Kurt's fingers deftly gliding across the keyboard playing the introductory notes of _I Will Survive._

Matt preferred not to dwell on the fact that Kurt learned how to do that from an ex of his from his partner's sophomore year in college, but he learned useful skills from his exes, too, and Kurt was his now, so he couldn't complain.

Nor did Matt did not miss the fact that Mike took the opportunity to duck outside when Mercedes tossed back a shot of something and said: "We all know who THIS song is for."

"Sing it baby-girl!" Kurt said as Mercedes voice riffed along with the chord.

"_At first I was afraid, _

_I was petrified_

_Thinkin' I could live without yu_

_By my side_

_I spent oh so many nights_

_Feelin' sorry for myself_

_I used to cry_

_But now I hold my head up hiiiiiiigh…"_

Matt just shook his head and BJ rolled her eyes.

"I have GOT to get out of here."

"I think the twins and Little Burt are in the basement, " Matt offered.

"The Bitches of Eastwick?" BJ groaned. "And that's better than Auntie M belting out a hate-song to Uncle Mike because…"

"Oh come on, they're not that bad!" Matt protested.

"All they do is sing lame show-tunes at the top of their lungs and do each other's make-up and ugh! SOOOOO freakin' annoying."

"Aside from the make-up bit, Daddy does that every night, so you should be used to it."

"Yeah, but unlike Daddy, they sing OFF-KEY! BADLY!"

"It's either that or this….take your pick, Bumblebee. Besides, I think Burt'd like some quality time with his favorite cousin."

"He should. Because awesome attracts awesome and we are both awesome."

"Agreed. Although I think he's slightly more humble than you are."

BJ stuck her tongue out at him and headed downstairs into her dad's old room.

* * *

"Oh thank GOD!" Burt Hudson breathed as he spied BJ bounding down the stairs. "SAVE ME!"

"Tell me they haven't tried giving you a makeover?"

"That would have been more appealing. At least then I could undo the damage imprinted on my brain when I got home."

BJ just looked over at "Little" Carole and Amy, who were deeply involved in staging _Popular _from Wicked. "They're trying to make me sing the Fyero part in _Dancing Through Life_." Although the fact that Carole and Burt were both referred to as 'Little' still even though both were in their twenties was something Neil got a chuckle at, Finn's lack of originality when it came to names necessitated the additional detail.

"Don't worry BJ," Amy said as she thumbed through the song selections of 'Wicked.'

"We wouldn't dream of you being Elphaba."

"Neither would I," BJ said flatly.

"But Burt, we simply HAVE to have a Fiyero if we're going to do this properly," Carole insisted.

"Um, why are you doing this at all?" BJ asked, looking back and forth from each twin. "Because seriously, you've just gone from 'Pain in the Ass' to 'Disturbing' in about five seconds."

"Bethany, you've witnessed Aunt Rachel and Uncle Kurt fighting, yes?" Amy said.

BJ nodded slowly. "So?"

"And we all know what a bumbling idiot our dear father can be," Little Carole said.

"That was the part I couldn't ignore," Burt interjected helplessly.

"And well," Amy added, going over to the stereo. "Either one of those things are ingredients for a disaster, and the show must go on."

"It must," Carole agreed.

BJ rolled her eyes. "And you're going along with their demands because…" she said, eyeing her favorite cousin suspiciously. Seriously, he was older than them. He could just tell them no.

Burt just shrugged and rolled his eyes. "You try fighting them sometime and how well you do."

"And since you ARE my brother," Amy continued, "the idea of you being Fiyero is not AT ALL appealing in any way, shape, or form, we're just going to have to employ our highly-trained acting skills."

"We'll pretend you're someone who's actually hot," Little Carole explained

"And not related to us," Amy supplied, making a face.

"Because…ew…incest," they both said at once.

"But yes, pretending you're someone hot would do," Little Carole said.

"Like that young man playing the piano," Amy finished with a dreamy look on her face.

"OH my GOD You mean Chia-Pet?" BJ said, making Burt snort. "Seriously, for little Prima Donnas, you need to have higher standards in men. Oh, and not to mention, you two are IN YOUR TWENTIES. HE'S A TEENAGER! Last I checked, that was kind of, oh I don't know…ILLEGAL. And OH MY GOD. The fact that you are IN YOUR TWENTIES and still playing dress-up and torturing your brother? Seriously? Could you BE any more immature?"

They ignored her and pressed play on the stereo. BJ and Burt made their way over to the bookshelf. Apparently her father's taste hadn't changed much since high-school, she decided as she glanced over his book collection. On the bottom shelf was an impressive DVD collection. The middle shelf consisted of old school books that obviously hadn't been read since he was forced to read them all those years ago. But the volumes of every Harry Potter book that had ever been published was lined up neatly in order and all had obviously been read multiple times.

"Wonder how much we could get for those on E-bay?" Burt mused.

BJ just smacked him, and continued to glance over the titles, most of which were trashy romance novels. On the top shelf were books on sewing, books on decorating, old issues of some Interior Design magazine and Cosmo. There were also pattern books instructing how to make your own clothes, and song selections from what BJ imagined must have been every show-tune known to man.

But it was a hard-bound red book that had been tucked behind the shelf that caught BJ's attention with _The Thunderclap 2012_ embossed in gold letters on the spine.

"What's that?" Burt asked, every bit as curious as she was.

"Ooooh, it's Uncle Kurt's old year book!" Amy squealed and dropped the ridiculous pencil decked out in pink glitter and matching feathers she was using as a wand and bounced onto the bed, snatching it from BJ's hand.

"Give it," BJ said with a murderous glare. "Give it or I'll…"

"Or you'll what?" Carole said, folding her arms.

"Be listening to Journey's Greatest Hits the whole way home." She said, and then turned to Burt. "Are you up for a little MP3-Player and CD-switching project, favorite cousin of mine?"

"Yeah," Burt admitted. "Dad sort of DID have a 'let's listen to Journey while we're on a journey!' plan. But oh my GOD that would mean I have to put up with it, too!"

"Thank God I'm adopted so the bad music taste gene just passed me by." BJ smiled brightly.

"Hey!" Burt protested. "Who turned you on to some of the coolest bands EVER?"

"Ok, so you're the exception to the rule."

"I love my family. I just hate long car-trips with them," Burt said.

"That's what iPods are for," BJ declared, taking the book from Amy. And then she squealed at the sight of the first page of pictures.

"Ugh, chearleaders!" BJ groaned as she eyed the first page of pictures, but then her eyes grew wide as one face smiled back at her with alarming familiarity.

"Please tell me you're not seeing what I'm seeing," BJ asked Burt. But she knew who the boy was in the Cheerio uniform.

"You mean the hot blonde at the top?"

BJ smacked him. "You do realize that's Aunt Quinn, right?"

"Uncle Kurt was a Cheerio?" Carole squealed, crowding BJ.

"How come dad never told us?" Amy asked.

BJ knew he'd been involved in cheerleading in high school, but it never occurred to her for some reason that he was…one of them. It just seemed so…..well completely perfect for him now that she had to think about it but really? A cheerleader? Ugh.

There were a lot of "good luck" and "stay awesome," from people she didn't know. But there were names she DID recognize.

"Yearbooks are so lame and unbadass," BJ read aloud, finally tearing her eyes away to a signature on the next page. She did not even having to glance down at the signature to know it was her Uncle Puck's. "And dude, I also have to thank you for not complaining about the dumpster dives. Anyway, yearbooks are so lame and unbadass. But I'm getting' high off the sharpie fumes."

"What can I say to my Boo? I know things will change, I know that WE'LL change, but you'll ALWAYS have me. That will never change."—Your Baby-girl, Mercedes.

A glance at the next page, there was one in bubble-letters: "You'll always be the one who got away— Britt"

"I don't do sappy yearbook sigs. But what the hell? It's not like we won't see each other on Christmas and stuff anyway, so the reason I'm sniffling right now has to be seasonal allergies. It is the only explanation I will except and if anyone tries to say otherwise, they are SO dead."—S.

"Thanks for making Rachel over," Uncle Finn had written on the Football team's page. "Seriously. Love, your sort-of big brother."

"Although Finn's appreciation for my new wardrobe is, without a doubt, so my boyfriend can objectify me, I'll quote from the seminal musical, _Wicked_, from which we sang a duet our junior year, as I feel that expresses my thoughts the best…" And Aunt Rachel never got to complete that thought, as a long thick black trail of marker squiggled to the end of the page.

""I may be the kid in the wheelchair, but I could still whip you in a dance-off. And also? Sorry if my plaid and suspenders were offensive to your gay sensibilities, but really, Kurt? Go near them and I WILL run over your Ipod."—Artie

"If I couldn't be Head Chearleader, at least it went to someone as fabulous as you. Also...you are still on call for all wardrobe consultations, so no losing your phone."- Quinn.

"Oh my God. Head Cheerleader? Really?" BJ groaned. "No wonder he never mentioned that lame part."

"Thanks for introducing me to Couture combat boots. And nobody can do a hairstreak like you. Stay fabulous-T."

She'd seen every club that could ever exist except one…New Directions was nowhere to be found.

"It'll be in the back," Burt said. "Dad always said Mr. Schue could never get the Glee picture anywhere else."

She eagerly flipped to the back and that's where she saw Matt's signature. ""The movie wars? I soooo won. And the date war. I also have a feeling I will never look at cornfields in the same way again. -Matt. PS: Ditto." Wrinkling her eyebrow in confusion, she wondered if she even WANTED to know what half of that quote was in reference to.

BJ suddenly got an idea, and one look at Burt and she knew who she could count on to make the idea a reality.

It was a look that Burt knew all too well.

"Ohhhh no," he said, shaking his head. "I still have scars from the last time I saw that look."

"What? All I want is you to sneak this out to the car so I can get a better look at it later!"

Burt knew it was hopeless, and the only thing scarier than trying to defy his twin sisters was trying to defy BJ. Resigning himself to his fate, he braced himself for whatever scheme his former favorite cousin had in mind.


	15. Chapter 15

"Did you get it in my backpack?" BJ asked eagerly as soon as Burt returned to the basement. It had only been ten minutes since he left but if she was asked, she was going to swear they were the longest ten minutes of her life. And not just because the twins had moved on from "rehearsing" their oh so important Wicked number to trying to figure out if there was a way to do "And I Am Telling You" as a duet. Although it was largely that. Spending time alone with the twins always made left her feeling itchy and with a deeper appreciation of Aunt Rachel's softer approach to their relationship.

"Yes. But not before Uncle Puck almost caught me." Burt rolled his eyes. "You're damn lucky he's still squeamish about the words female products or the yearbook would so be upstairs right now. Although I really don't get why the elaborate plan in the first place. Remind me again why you couldn't just take it with you when you guys leave?"

"Because then they'll know we've seen it and they'll come up with all sorts of appropriate explanations for potentially embarrassing evidence of things they don't want us to know." BJ put her hands on her hips, keeping her back to the twins. "How can I be expected to argue my maturity if I don't have proof of how immature my dads were in comparison?"

"And you honestly think you're going to find that in the yearbook?" Burt's tone clearly indicated he had serious doubts about the brilliance of her plan. "You'd have a better shot of asking Uncle Puck when he's wasted. You know if someone has pictures it's him."

"The yearbook is just the _starting_ point. Trust me this is foolproof."

"Yeah those words always work out well in this family." Burt nodded his head.

"It's simple." BJ insisted, dragging Burt across the room to sit on Kurt's old bed. "When everyone else is asleep, I'll do research. Figure out a few key things to ask about based on yearbook signatures and the candid pictures. Then at the party you know we'll be dragged to after the concert, while everyone is all emotional, drinking and strolling down memory lane, I'll just ask a few innocent questions. Presto. I get the information I need and the next time they go out of town, I don't have to eat freaking vegan with a drowned rat dog who looks like it's staring at me."

"Wouldn't it just be easier to try to convince them to let me or Noah stay over with you? For a trial run?"

"That is way too obvious. I have to approach this subtly. It's all about the approach."

"Well if it depends on a subtle approach Bethany, I would suggest you invest in a plan B" Carole called sweetly across the basement.

"I suggest in minding your own business before you have a legitimate reason to miss those high notes." BJ returned as sweetly as she could manage, causing Burt to snicker.

"Now Bethany don't be jealous just because you're the only one in the family who can't sing." Amy chimed in, her arm wrapped firmly around her sister's shoulders.

"Oh I accept I can't sing. It's you two that can't accept the truth. Seriously Papa would have a field day with your denial issues. You'd pay my way through college twice."

Whatever retort the twins were going to fire back with was lost for all time when Matt's voice carried down the basement steps. "Hate to break up the love fest down there but party's over. Time to go."

"Coming." BJ hollered up the stairs, before turning to smile at Burt. "You remember the hiding spot for tomorrow right?"

"Who do you think I am? Dad? Noah?" Burt rolled his eyes. "Mr. Schue's surprise won't be ruined on my account. "

"Just making sure. I don't want to be stuck with them alone." BJ tossed her head in the twins' direction who were busy trying to gather all the supplies (or useless crap as far as BJ was concerned) that had been strewn across the room.

"Well I don't either since that would make me an accessory to murder. I love you kid but I am not going to jail for you."

"Damn. Guess that means I have to find a new favorite cousin then."

* * *

She loved her family dearly. Honestly. But if they could just learn to stop talking before someone keeled over in exhaustion it would be great. As was the usual routine, it had still taken them another hour to get away from Papa B and Grandma Carole's house. First there was saying goodbye to everyone, which always took a minute under the best of circumstances but even longer once this particular group got some alcohol in their system.

And apparently Uncle Mike and Aunt Mercedes had yet another one of their "we're on different paths and we need to stop doing this to each other" talks. Which was actually right on time, considering BJ was pretty sure the last breakup occurred about two weeks ago at least. Of course this required almost immediate debriefing with Daddy giving a variation on his usual pep talk about how Aunt Mercedes would get through this, she was strong, she did the right thing and she would find someone who completely deserved her and worshipped her properly. So now likely in about three week, Aunt Mercedes and Uncle Mike would call (Separately at first. It was always separately at first) and be all concerned if it was a good idea to get back together because they still have feelings for each other and they just _happened_ to in to each other. And then about a week after that, they would be back together. She could set her watch by it.

Only after that was done did they finally start to make their way back to Uncle Puck and Aunt Leah's. Once they arrived there, Aunt Leah had declared she hadn't talked to her the entire night (which was true) and proceeded to demand a detailed report on school, volleyball and any potential boyfriends on the horizon in her aunt's bedroom. Given the subject, BJ had realistic hopes this discussion wouldn't last all that long. After all school was boring but fine. Her team was going to do ok but it wasn't about to go on a championship tear anytime soon. And the idea that the daughter of two gay fathers who attended an all girls' school and who was known as the school "gaydar detector" had a boyfriend on the horizon was so completely laughable it could have been a sitcom.

If she didn't know any better, BJ would swear Burt had lied to her. He had been caught and every last one of her relatives knew that yearbook was in her backpack and they were trying to exhaust her before she had a chance to look at it. It would be just like them to let her think she had won before popping up to say oh no she didn't. However when everyone had finally left her alone on the couch in the living room, she smiled in triumph when she saw the red yearbook smashed against her clothes. Glancing over her shoulder to make sure no one else in the house was going to sneak up behind her, she pulled it out along with a notebook she was supposed to use for her English journal assignments but was inevitably used to write notes for her friends.

It was best to go about this methodically, BJ decided. Start at the beginning and write down any comments that even sounded remotely promising. Things that seemed to refer to football, glee club or cheerleaders were worth extra consideration but nothing should be overlooked. After all somehow it had slipped Daddy's mind to mention he had been Head Cheerio. There were all sorts of fascinating things she could learn if she just paid close enough attention.

The fifteen pages devoted to Cheerios were completely useless. BJ wasn't entirely sure how it was possible to misspell the phrase "stay awesome" but she had now seen it done on fifteen pages in sixteen different ways. The cheerleaders were proving to be as useless as she had always suspected them to be. It would have been mildly interesting to learn Daddy at one point painted his nails to match his Cheerios uniform but really she could have figured that out on her own.

She did find it beyond bizarre the color pages stopped after the endless shots of cheerleaders standing and smiling but she had always heard the former Coach Sylvester was not a person a mere mortal argued with. And seeing her track-suited figure sneering from the top of every last one of the pages, BJ didn't doubt for one second the more colorful stories she had heard growing up.

The other sports related photos might prove more useful. At least there was a greater chance of a picture of Uncle Finn doing something that shouldn't have worked but somehow did. She grimaced when she noted the final season record of the football team listed as 2-14. For the second year in a row. Ouch. No wonder Papa had always laughed when she asked him if he had ever thought about playing football in college. With a record like that, the only way a college scout would have seen him was if he happened to tackle an All-American on the other team. It was mildly strange to see the familiar faces of her family staring at the camera seriously in full football pads, instead of some costume for an invitational or regional competition. Finding Matt's face easily enough in the team picture, BJ scanned the more candid shots for anything that might prove useful, but found nothing. Plenty of Uncle Finn and Uncle Puck, but nothing that would help her cause.

Lisa and Cassie were great, BJ admitted as she flipped past the girls' volleyball team (noting that program at least made it to regionals) but still she was so close to 16 it was ridiculous. None of her friends had to stay with a freaking babysitter when their parents went out of town. And she was pretty positive if she went upstairs and asked right now neither of her dads got shipped to a sitter's when their parents went out of town. Ok so Chicago wasn't exactly Lima. They lived in a building with a doorman who was the biggest gossip in the entire building. BJ had once flipped off rude jerk who nearly shoved her to the ground trying to catch a taxi outside their building and Daddy knew about it before she even got on the elevator. Her school called Daddy's cell phone if she was even a few minutes tardy. She actually couldn't do anything that would remotely get her in trouble. She didn't have a car. She didn't have a boyfriend. Her routine consisted of school and volleyball. Her friends lived in the building. Well they called them her friends. Girls she had grown up with in the building and hung around out of necessity and proximity was probably closer to the truth. She was never with those idiots when they did stupid stuff like attempt to sneak into a 21 and older club on the weekend. They were seriously worrying about _nothing_.

Her eyebrows knitted in confusion as she spotted a familiar face on the page devoted to the boy's reserve basketball team. First off how is it possible she had no idea Papa had played basketball? She couldn't have possibly not made the connection like she did with Daddy and being a Cheerio. Secondly, this was his senior year book. What seniors played reserve anything? And thirdly, that was a really bad picture of him considering he looked all of 15 in it and not 18. BJ scanned the caption, hoping to see if Matt's position on the team was listed so she could make sure to get the right information when she felt her confusion increase.

_Sophomore point guard Gabe Rutherford goes for the layup._

All nine words were in fact English. Separately she could understand each one perfectly. It was only when they were combined that BJ felt like she was trying to read French. Gabe Rutherford? Who the hell was Gabe Rutherford? And why did he look so much like Papa?

She had never really thought about if there were other members of the Rutherford family out there besides Papa and Aunt Leah. Aunt Leah was awesome and Papa had his moments. Plus, as this weekend was making abundantly clear, most of the time she had more family than she actually could stand at times. From time to time, she had been tempted to ask questions but she never had. Now BJ was wondering if maybe she should have.

"And what are you doing up so late Princess?" Kurt asked smiling as she jumped; slamming the book she was looking at shut. A guilty look immediately crossed her features. "It's after midnight." He pointed out as he made his way towards the couch.

"Jet lag?"

"Nice try. It's only an hour's time difference. "Kurt nodded to what he now could tell was his old senior yearbook. "Overwhelmed by the desire to see proof fashion disasters always lived in this town?"

"I was just curious." BJ shrugged her shoulders. "It's not like you all would tell me these things if I asked so I need to look and then ask other people for information. And with Uncle Finn it helps if you get specific."

"And just what exactly would you need to get specific about that you don't already know?"

"Well I would ask for a translation of what Papa wrote to you in here but I'm pretty sure that will just increase my time in therapy."

He could probably explain the movie war and date war with minimal psychological damage. And really everyone should recognize the greatness of _Ghost_ and the late great Patrick Swayze so he should explain why "Ditto" is probably one of the most romantic lines of all time. When BJ was about 40 and ready to start dating. But the cornfield? To quote his best friend Mercedes, oh hell no. "Good guess."

"But I'll settle for why I'm looking at Papa's Mini Me." BJ flipped the yearbook open to the reserve basketball team's page, thumping her finger against the mysterious Gabe Rutherford's picture. "I'm guessing we're related somehow, judging by the caption.

Kurt frowned for a second. BJ didn't know anything about Matt's family, aside from Leah, and that was mostly because his parents had disowned both Matt and Leah when Matt came out. Kurt knew it bothered him, but he also knew how sensitive Matt was about the subject every time it was brought up. However he couldn't exactly ignore the curiosity brimming in his daughter's eyes. If he didn't give her some explanation, she was likely to keep asking questions until she found out.

"Yes, that's Papa's younger brother Gabe," he began carefully.

"Well, I gathered that much. Because really, he's practically Papa's twin. But how come I get the impression that if I'd never seen the yearbook, I'd never know about anyone in Papa's family at all besides Aunt Leah?"

"The kind of family that's more important to Papa is the one he chose. You know...you and me...and the people he knew best from those days. As for why you weren't told, well, I think I'll leave that up to Papa to explain. It's not that we weren't trying to lie to you. It's just...you know how some people feel about our kind of family. We wanted to protect you."

"This is all related to why Papa moved in with Grandpa Jim and Grandma Susan isn't it?" BJ took Kurt's silence as confirmation. "Ok. Are there any other relatives I don't know about and might run into around here?"

Kurt sighed softly. "There's another younger brother Steve. I think he's in the freshmen section when you go to look for his picture. And I don't think either one is actually in Lima anymore. But I'm not sure. We don't exactly keep in touch."

"Aren't his parents still here?" BJ smiled when she saw the surprised look on Kurt's face. "I've heard Papa B and Grandma talking. You all think I suddenly can't hear you when I leave the room. I'm not deaf."

"Duly noted. Yes they're still in town but I think they go out of town when we're scheduled to visit." Kurt nudged BJ with his shoulder. "Papa B and Uncle Puck aren't exactly quiet when you're coming to town."

"So they kinda hugely suck." BJ stated. Kurt snorted his agreement. "And that would be why Papa does that weird hand shaking thing whenever I have to do those stupid family trees and history for school?"

"Yes. But he denies there's a weird hand shaking thing."Kurt grabbed at the yearbook from her lap. "And I think that's enough walking down memory lane for tonight. You'll probably be hearing plenty I wish you wouldn't hear tomorrow after the concert."

"That is the plan." BJ smiled brightly. "But one more question?"

"One."

"Why couldn't I find Uncle Mike's signature in there? I saw everyone else's."

Kurt laughed as he flipped to the page Rachel nearly took over, pointing to the squiggle where her writing was interrupted. "That's Uncle Mike's. He pretty much made sure I got this book back when I realized Aunt Rachel was going to write a full Broadway libretto. Uncle Mike was overcome with the desire to play keep away and picked my yearbook and Aunt Rachel to play with."

BJ giggled at the image that presented. "That would have been hilarious to see. Just one more thing before you go."

"Bethany." Kurt sighed as she began to dig in her backpack before bringing a small packet out from its depths. She handed the package over with a grin on her face. "And what is this?"

"Earplugs." BJ said with a straight face. "I've stayed in the guest room. I told you I wasn't deaf."


	16. Chapter 16

Tristan Hawthorne the Third learned a long time ago that while being Mr. Rachel Berry did have its perks, the fact that when he married _her_, he had married eleven of her oldest and dearest friends from high school was not one of them. Fortunately for Tristan, he managed to get out of most of their get-togethers, but there was no getting out of this one. Rachel had poured her heart and soul and blood, sweat and tears into this effort, and made him promise he'd be there to witness all her hard work.

It wasn't that Tristan didn't _like _Rachel's old chums. To be sure, they were great people. Two of them had even shared his affection for his wife at one point in time. Which was problem number one. To be face to face with not one but TWO of his wife's old flames was never pleasant and more than a tad unsettling. Although Rachel had assured him time and again that she and that Finn person had been over long ago, and her relationship with Noah only lasted a week and both of them happened to be as happily married as they were, that did little to settle the unease that had begun to reside in the pit of his stomach the night before he was scheduled to fly to Columbus.

For another thing, it always seemed like someone in the group was always plotting some hair-brained scheme that only made sense on sit-coms. For that reason, he could never really be sure whether or not the fact that Matt and Kurt both hit on him on separate occasions before they finally came to their senses and got together (Rachel had enlightened him on their history before he'd met Kurt, detailing that involved color-coded charts and graphs everything that had transpired between the two) because they were actually interested, or someone had a bet, or if it was this big private joke, or some combination of all three. Not to mention, their daughter hated him just on principle because he had a Roman Numeral at the end of his name (something Rachel herself had insisted would garner him more professional gigs, even though he was the only child of a single mother who'd gone to a sperm bank).

But his wife, for some odd reason, loved them, despite the fact that they were constantly making fun of her. And as long as he could spend most of his time in Lima with his in-laws, it wouldn't be too unbearable. With a sigh, he got off the plane, hoping that he wouldn't be bombarded by a gaggle of those…_people_. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was only Matt Rutherford and Carole Hummel, the two of her friends he could actually stand for an hour-long car-trip.

"My Turtle-Dove!" he boomed, arms outstretched. Matt and Carole both rolled their eyes.

"Sugar Plum!" Rachel squealed.

"Good thing I brought Dramamine," Carole quipped.

Matt had to agree, because he wanted to throw up in his mouth.

The car-ride home was pure torture. Mostly because the first twenty minutes were spent listening to Rachel prattle on about every aspect of the show. And then they proceeded to make out.

The process repeated several times before Carole finally had to tell them to buckle in before he got pulled over.

"Thank you for that," Matt said.

"I know they always tease you about being mute, Matthew, but I know better. You're just shy. But this is taking your usual silent act to a whole new level."

"Rachel and Tristan are carrying on a conversation in the back seat," Matt defended.

"Oh please, like conversation in the front seat would stop her."

Matt snorted at that; surprised that Rachel was oblivious to his mother-in-law's dig.

"Or more like Rachel's delivering a monologue," Carole amended.

"It's funny because it's true," Matt snorted.

"Still…you're quiet. Er. Than usual. And that's saying something."

"Just tired. It's been a busy week," Matt lied.

"Matthew Rutherford…I've known you for how long now? I may be old but I'm not stupid. Something's bothering you."

Matt shook his head. Fooling the shrink he saw when he was going for his PhD and was forced to go to therapy as part of the degree had been easy. He knew exactly what answers they were looking for. Fooling Leah was harder, but still possible. Fooling Kurt was harder still, but he could manage to keep the walls up even around him when he deemed it necessary. Fooling his mother-in-law though? His own mother hadn't cared to know him as well as she did, but Carole Hummel could ALWAYS tell when something was bothering him, and it was pointless trying to lie, because she'd get the truth somehow whether he liked it or not.

"BJ found Kurt's old yearbook," Matt replied with a sigh. "From Senior year."

"Oh, honey…" Carole replied, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Bringing back some bad memories?"

"Bad memories I can deal with. But Kurt told BJ about my family."

"And you don't want to open that can of worms?" Carole offered.

Matt nodded. "Something like that. I don't know…it just…REALLY bothers me that I wasn't the one to tell her about my family and what happened, you know?"

"Matthew, exactly what did you think Kurt would do when BJ asked him? You couldn't very well expect him to tell her to wait until morning with everyone else around."

"Well, no…" Matt admitted.

"And really, honey, you could've told her before now that she has uncles. Lord knows she's got enough relatives coming out of her ears and she doesn't exactly NEED another card on her birthday or another present under the Christmas tree. And I'm not saying I don't understand your reasons for keeping it a secret. I would've probably done the same thing with Finn if I were in your shoes. But what I don't understand is when BJ came along, didn't you at least try and make amends?"

Matt shook his head. "Puck was the one who told me my Grandma Justine died. They didn't even come to Leah's wedding. After that, I just figured they didn't want to be a part of our lives any more, so why extend the olive branch, you know? And I couldn't let BJ get hurt because my parents don't approve of me."

"They should be damn proud of you," Carole said, taking Matt a little aback. "They should know what an amazing granddaughter they're missing out on. I would imagine if you showed up at their doorstep they wouldn't slam it in your face."

Matt blinked furiously and sucked in a breath, forcing himself not to let the tears that were threatening spill over. He could not break down. Not while he was the one driving. And he wasn't really sure how to tell Carole he was fairly certain that that was exactly what they would do, and this time, it wouldn't be just him they'd hurt, but now BJ, too. A glance in the rear-view mirror confirmed that he just needed to be grateful that Rachel and Tristan were rounding second in his backseat, oblivious to the fact that he was close to crumbling at the wheel.

"I'm sooo sorry, Matt," Carole said, running a soothing hand over his shoulder. "Do you need me to drive, honey?"

Matt just shook his head and kept his eyes on the road.

Matt dropped Rachel and Tristan off at her dads', and made his way to the Hummel house where Kurt, BJ and the Hudson clan had spent the afternoon.

The last thing he wanted to do was put on a happy face, but he knew he had to. He was not going to be the one to kill the mood just because of circumstances beyond either his or Kurt's control. Carole gave him a reassuring smile. "It'll be fine, Matt. Just talk it out when you guys get home on Sunday."

Talk. Right. Like _that_ had ever been his strong-suit.

He knew his mother-in-law was right. He knew Kurt didn't exactly intend for BJ to find the yearbook, and he also knew that Kurt didn't divulge _all _the details. Kurt had, after all, left some aspects for him to reveal. He'd only told her their names.

And now it was up to Matt to fill BJ in. It wasn't exactly a conversation he was looking forward to having. Telling her that her grandparents probably wanted nothing to do with her because they thought her father was an abomination ranked right up there with telling his daughter it was time for her to wear a bra and the whole birds-and-bees thing, but like those conversations, this one was unavoidable; and he lived through those conversations, he'd live through this one too. He knew she'd bring it up again, and he didn't like purposefully hiding things from his daughter, especially big things like this. But looking forward to going home was now a thing of the past.

Matt was really hoping the issue would just never come up. He knew it had all the probability of a sequel for _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ with the original cast members from the series, but a guy had to dream. And for twenty years, he'd been able to live that dream. But now, he was faced with the truth he'd very carefully avoided all these years…his parents didn't want anything to do with him, would never want anything to do with him. And he didn't even know where his brothers were, if they were married, or still living in town or even in the country.

Not that he regretted kissing Kurt that night all those years ago. He smiled at the memory, and watched Finn, Kurt, and BJ heavily absorbed in a card game. He didn't exactly _have it bad_ these days, and he still had Leah, who was undeniably amazing. But still, not being accepted by his own flesh and blood left a wound that had festered over the years.

"You sank my battleship!" Finn declared.

"We're playing _gin,_" Kurt informed his step-brother.

"Well then…gin," Finn said triumphantly, grinning. "Read 'em and weep!"

"Hey guys," Matt said, putting a hand on Kurt's shoulder. "We should probably get going back to Leah and Puck's. It's almost time to get ready."

"So should we prepare ourselves in case law enforcement comes knocking?" BJ asked, putting the cards back in their package.

"Rachel and Tristan are both back at her parents' house in one piece. She's not THAT bad."

"Yeah, and neither is a root canal," Kurt shot back. Finn swatted him.

"Finn, you're not worried Mr. Schue might recognize your car?" Matt asked, choosing to not mention the fact that Kurt could be every bit as unbearable. He would be surprised if they weren't going to get letters from parents requesting that Kurt and Rachel pay for therapy for all of the kids as a result of the trauma caused by their fighting.

"Not really. He's at school all day, right?"

"Still, you probably ought to get back to Artie and Tina's. It's almost time to get ready."

"Oh good!" Carole said coming up from the basement steps out of breath. "You haven't left yet," she had her hands behind her back. "Kurt, I believe you forgot something."

A puzzled look crossed Kurt's features as a beaming Carole handed him her surprise. It was a Fedora hat in khaki and brown gingham with a sequined buckle above the rim. Matt remembered the hat well. It was hard to forget a hat like that.

"My checkered Fedora! Carole…where did you…?"

"Like I could let you go on stage without your lucky hat. Your dad held on to it. And now I think it's time it goes back to its rightful owner."

Grinning like an idiot, Kurt took the hat and BJ swiped it, and put it on her head.

"What?" she said with a grin. "Like you need luck."

Matt couldn't help feel a twinge of jealousy.

Not because of the hat. He wouldn't be caught dead with a hat like THAT, but he was pretty sure his parents sold anything he'd left behind on E-Bay long ago. The Changs were just amazing. The Hummels' awesomeness knew no bounds. But still, parents were supposed to love you unconditionally, and his didn't keep up their end of that bargain. Matt glanced up at BJ through the rearview mirror. He was a dad himself now, and although he and Kurt often joked about selling her to gypsies, he couldn't imagine anything she'd do that would make him shut her out completely.

"You're quiet," Kurt finally said, shaking Matt out of his reverie. "And for you, that's saying a lot."

"It's nothing."

"It's NOT nothing. You haven't said a word since we got in the car. The last time you were this broody, Comic-Con got cancelled."

Matt said nothing.

"Don't tell me you're still upset about earlier," Kurt said, rolling his eyes. "Look, I thought I explained…"

"It's just stirred up a lot of bad memories," Matt lied. Truthfully, he didn't know why he was making as big a deal out of it as he was. "I'm not getting into this right now, Kurt. We'll talk about it after the show."

"Fine." Kurt replied shortly, folding his arms and laying his head against the window. In the rearview mirror, he felt a pang of guilt seeing the look on his daughter's face.

"Bumblebee…it's not your fault, you know that, right?"

"Actually, Papa…I think it is. I'm sorry…I should've just left it alone."

"Listen to me, Bumblebee…you did _nothing _wrong. I shouldn't have kept that part of my life such a mystery. It's just…it's not easy for me to talk about. But on the way home on Sunday, that'll be the topic of discussion, ok?"

"Do you think Uncle Gabriel and Uncle Stephen will come tonight?" BJ asked hopefully.

"I doubt it. I don't know if Gabe even knows about this, and Stephen enlisted last I heard. But tell you what, if you want? Next time we're at a laptop, we can look them up."

"Way ahead of you Papa. Gabe lives a couple of blocks from the school. And Stephen's stationed in Fort Worth. According to Gabe's facebook page, he's a nurse. And Stephen's married to some lady named Chloe and they have a couple of kids. So you've got nieces and nephews you didn't know about. How weird is that?"

"Pretty weird. You want to go visit before we leave town?" He asked, much to Kurt's shock.

"Are YOU sure you want to visit them?" Kurt asked.

Matt took a deep breath and shook his head. "No," Matt whispered just loud enough for Kurt to hear. "But I'm not keeping secrets from my daughter any more."


	17. Chapter 17

**There is an epically good reason for why this took forever...mainly ummm well our muses ran completely wild with everything they wanted to do and what was supposed to be ONE chaper has become three. Soo...yeah...unless you all really wanted to read 15,000 words in one chapter we felt it best to cut it up. So forgive us?**

"I've reeeally gotta pee." BJ declared as soon as they arrived at the school.

"Matt, you don't have to go through with it, you know. You can just tell her that we don't have time or something," Kurt suggested as soon as she bee-lined for the bathroom.

"Yes., Kurt. I think I do," Matt said. The car beeped as Matt locked the doors. There wasn't much crime in Lima, Ohio, but flashbacks of Puck's stunts served as reminders of the kind of things that bored teenagers were capable of.

"She's just curious, Matt. You know how she is. The next shiny thing that catches her eye, and she'll forget all about the uncles she didn't know about."

"She had to find out about what happened with my family from other people…" the glare Kurt shot Matt made the other man wish he had been more careful with his word-choice.

"Please don't take that the wrong way…" Matt begged, but he somehow knew that any attempt to diffuse this situation was going to be futile.

"Because, yeah, there's any number of ways that can be interpreted. And Tim Gunn is straight. She heard it from _me_," Kurt seethed in a tone that was only barely quiet enough to avoid a scene. "Tell me, Matt, how was I supposed to interpret 'other people?' You treat everyone like they're an outsider, and now that includes me?"

"Oh come on, Kurt, that's not what I meant and you know it."

"What exactly did you mean?"

"Just…I…I guess I wanted to be the one to reveal that part of my past to her, you know?"

"Well then, I suggest next time you have a big reveal you want to make you don't wait fifteen years to do so."

"Kurt, let's not do this now, please?"

"Wasn't gonna," Kurt said and stormed off in the direction of the choir room.

Matt laid his head on the roof of the car and took a deep breath. Now was not the time for a crisis.

If he couldn't paste on a smile, he'd ruin it for Mr. Schue and everyone else. Not to mention, he'd be facing the wrath of one Rachel Berry. And Kurt.

Kurt…who had every right to be mad with him. This really was nobody's fault but his own. Matt was the master of shutting people out. He knew good and well that was his modus operandi. He indeed could have told BJ before now what the consequences were of finally taking the leap and kissing the boy who'd been his biggest crush ever.

But now he was facing rejection again. And he was looking at the possibility that BJ was going to be rejected as well. She didn't do anything to deserve this. And if they shut their door on him, they were shutting their door on _her_. How could he possibly shield his little girl from that kind of pain?

But still…he couldn't wallow. Not now. He'd deal with it later. Curtains waited for no man, and certainly not for drama. Not even wounds that were twenty-some odd years in the making.

He was interrupted out of his revere by a rapping on his window.

"Terry!" Matt beamed, genuinely happy to see his old college friend. It really had been good to see him the night. Coming up along-side him was a slip of a woman who was as pencil thin as she was when they said goodbye at graduation.

"Matt, I know you weren't thinking you'd get away with avoiding us after answering the door for this one," she said jerking her head to her left.

"It's been way too long, Clara," Matt said, hugging her. "You haven't changed a bit."

"And your lying skills have not improved one iota," Clara replied smoothly. "So, Terry tells me you finally wised up," she said grinning. "Took you long enough."

Matt nodded. "Yeah, in fact it's just about show-time."

"Shouldn't we be heading inside?" Clara asked.

"Uh-huh. All the theater friends we had at OSU always tried to make it at least fifteen minutes before call-time. And you're sitting out here. Alone. Without your partner or your little girl. So why does my Spidey-sense tell me there's trouble in paradise?" Terry asked.

"There IS something wrong with this picture," Clara said.

Matt rubbed the back of his neck, not really wanting to spill all the details to people he hadn't even seen in fifteen years.

"It's a long story," Matt said.

"Well, Old Friend, Dr. Terry is in," he said with his old trademark big, toothy grin, leaning up against the hood of the car.

"You want the whole story or the short version?" Matt asked with a sigh.

"Let me guess…" Clara interrupted. "Kurt said something he shouldn't have…or DID something he shouldn't have, or one of his "plans" (Terry punctuated the word with air-quotations) didn't work out, as they are wont to do."

"Matt," Terry finished, "it might've been fifteen years, but we did NOT forget the kind of stunts your ex used to pull. Because that's pretty much all you ever talked about."

"We STILL know your number," Clara said. "And I don't mean the digits we never see pop up on our cell phone."

"Plus," Terry said, putting his arm around Matt and ushering him towards April Rhodes' Auditorium. "My son might've made one or two comments about a certain redhead with purple streaks in her hair. And my curiosity will NOT be denied."

* * *

"Ok, last-minute notes," Santana was saying as soon as Kurt walked in. "Emmaline, it's THE OTHER right foot on the downbeat of your entrance in DSB. Finn, everyone knows it's been awhile since you've done this and you're a little rusty, but TRY to remember how to walk and sing at the same time without a major disaster. Kurt, you're late. And you're a little flat at the end of 'For Good.' Piano-kid, this is show choir, not a piano competition. Don't be a show-off. You're supposed to accompany the performers. Gaysian! I know you're used to being the star performer here, but…for this performance tonight, TRY to blend. That goes for you too, Berry!" Santana shouted, not missing Rachel's triumphant look at someone else being called out for over-singing. "And you, too, Kurt. You'd better have a damn good reason for being late. Where's your quieter half?"

"Yeah, where IS Papa?" BJ asked Kurt.

"He's um…" Kurt didn't have to finish the sentence, because Matt arrived as if on cue.

"And the redhead with the purple streaks would be my daughter. Terry, Clara, say hello to BJ. BJ. This is Terry and Clara Parker. They're Chase's parents, and old friends from college."

"Papa has friends? Who AREN'T in this room right now?"

"And I take it you're the infamous Kurt," Clara said beamed hugged him. "Matt talked about you so much during our days at OSU we knew more about you than we did about him."

"AND HE TALKED?" BJ gawked.

Kurt was about to make a scathing comment about how Matt was just full of secrets, but Santana prevented that from happening.

"Save the intros for after the show, people. Time for business now." Santana declared. "Now, everyone who's not going to be on stage in about five minutes flat, go…before Schue sees you guys."

"Glad you finally decided to grace us with your presence, Matt. Now, if you get your cues that well on stage tonight, we might not suck."

Matt shot a tentative glance in Kurt's direction, who shuffled his feet.

"Oh Good LORD!" Santana groaned with an eye-roll. "You two had a tiff, didn't you," the fact that both men only looked at the floor was all the answer she needed. "MORE drama? Seriously? Does this LOOK like the Real Housewives of McKinley to you?"

"More drama?" Matt and Kurt echoed.

Quinn rolled her eyes. "Mike came waltzing in here with a big bouquet of roses and a tiny light-blue box."

"Oh no…" Kurt said, immediately realizing where this was going.

"Mercedes turned him down."

"Where's Mike?" Matt asked, looking around for his best friend. Mike appeared as if out of nowhere. His eyes were red, but he was smiling. "It's all good, man," Mike said, beaming. "She'll come around."

"WAIT, she turned you DOWN?" Kurt asked, looking around for his best friend, but not seeing her. "Any idea where she went?"

"She's probably out back," Quinn said.

"Tell your girl she needs to buck the fuck up and get the hell in here so we can get this thing over with," Puck said.

"Santana, how much time until curtain?" Kurt asked quickly.

"About one minute."

"Can you just give me five more minutes? Come on, since when has anything here EVER started on time?"

"You've got two and a half."


	18. Chapter 18

The auditorium wasn't that big, and there weren't that many places to hide, and Kurt remembered them all with relative ease, so it wasn't that hard to find Mercedes out back near one of the dumpsters he used to get tossed into.

He started to go to her, but stopped when he realized she wasn't alone.

"Sorry, Mercedes, just sneakin' myself a smoke," came a rich voice he didn't recognize. "I can find another spot, if…"

"No, it's ok, Leon. How are History classes going?"

"I try to get them to care, but that seems to be too much to ask. These kids just don't get it…history is NOT irrelevant. But telling THAT to them, I might as well be talkin' to a wall."

"Don't really have that problem with the Cheerios."

"Yeah, I wouldn't think you did."

"But I've got my issues."

"Such as…"

"It's personal," Mercedes replied shortly, tugging on the hem of the cherry-red fabulous empire-wasted, a-line-skirt dress that he himself had designed. If he didn't intervene soon, she'd rip the black lace petticoat that was under the skirt, but he decided to bide his time.

"Well, I've got nothin' to do out here but smoke this cancer-stick and listen, so…if you don't mind me lightin' up, you can fire away."

"That damn fool," Mercedes ranted. "That stupid, ignorant…you know what gets me the most?"

"What?" a voice Kurt didn't recognize answered.

"I don't know who the bigger fool is...him for askin', or me for waitin' around so long for him to change when I know he can't."

"You have your reasons," the stranger said. "Mind sharing?"

"Leon, I don't know why I'm tellin' you all this…"

There was a pause.

"Do you really want to get into all my drama? Because if I listed all the possible reasons why I refused Mike, we'd be here awhile. And I've got a show to do in about a minute. The funny thing is…I KNOW I did the right thing. But why does it feel so damn wrong?"

"You had your reasons, right?" The stranger said, obviously unsure of what his companion was going on about.

"Yeah, but only one of those reasons is the one that really matters."

"You obviously love him."

"Well, yeah…it was never a question of love. But we wanted different things in life. He's got a business that takes him all over the country. He's never home for more than a week at a time. I see my friends with families. My boy Kurt has been with the same guy for years and they've got a fifteen year-old daughter. His stepbrother had a shotgun wedding and now he's been married for a long time with six kids. Artie…"

"Wheelchair Guy, right?"

"Right…anyway, he and his wife Tina have been together forever, too. Even _Rachel _found her Leading Man, and that girl's personality is…well…just kinda makes you just want to put her finger in the nearest light-socket. My girl Quinn's had the same boyfriend since college. I just…I want my little slice of forever, you know?"

"Look, I know you're officially on the rebound, but what would you think of explaining this to me over lunch sometime? As friends. I mean, I know the cafeteria isn't the most romantic place, but, if we're going as friends, setting's really not that important, right?"

"Leon, thanks…but…"

Kurt decided to make his entrance then and coughed.

" 'Cedes, we need you back inside," he said, and then extended a hand to the stranger. He was about as tall as Kurt, and nearly as dark as Kurt was pale. "And sir, I don't know who you are, but my girl IS going to take you up on that non-date. I'm kind of insisting on it. I'm Kurt, by the way."

Mercedes just glared at him.

"Is he always this bossy?" Leon asked.

"Uuuuuh-huh," Mercedes said dryly.

"Nice to finally meet you, man," Leon said, chuckling, and smiled broadly, almost blinding Kurt with his impossibly white teeth. "Good to put a name with the face."

"You've heard of me?" Kurt said, eyebrows shooting up. _Project Runway _was years ago, and although he ran into a few people on occasion who recognized him, it didn't happen very often, and he didn't peg this Leon guy to be a _Project Runway_ fan.

"Hangin' around certain faculty members around here," he said jerking his head in Mercedes' direction, you'd think you were some kinda legend or somethin'" Leon said with a grin.

Kurt beamed. "Good to meet you, too, Leon." And then he turned to Mercedes and hugged her tightly.

"I c-c-can't do it…" Mercedes sobbed onto Kurt's shoulder.

"The suit, 'Cedes! Watch the suit!" Kurt yelped, but Mercedes swatted him. "What? It's white! Exactly how do you propose to get smudged make-up off of a white suit in less than a minute?"

Mercedes just cried harder.

"Aaaaw, Sweetheart," he said, careful to take the jacket off first, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "I'm sorry…bad word-choice…you can tell me what happened on the way back."

"I c-c-c-an't go back!" she sobbed. Leon made his exit.

"Baby-girl, we've gotta go inside. It was time two minutes ago. Come on," he said, drying her tears with a tissue he had in his pocket. "Where's that show-face? This is for Mr. Schue."

"Without whom I wouldn't be a sobbing mess right now, because if there was no Mr. Schue, there'd be no Glee Club. No Glee Club, no Mike Chang. My life would've been sooo much easier. So why exactly should I care? "

"Because without him,_ I_ would never have Matt, or BJ, or you…so I kind of owe it to him to give the best send-off ever, and without you, it won't be as fabulous as all get-out. Later, you can have a good cry with me over Cosmos and _Grey's Anatomy_ marathons, but right now, it's show-time."

She sniffled and nodded, and arm-in-arm, they went inside.

_Meanwhile…_

The second Matt got Mike alone in the nearest Men's room available, Mike sighed and repeatedly banged his head against the urinal wall.

"Don't say it man..." he said. "I know I messed up here."

"I have to, Bro," Matt said. "It's my duty as best friend. And this? This takes your previous moron-status to an entirely new level. A PUBLIC PROPOSAL? Seriously...Double-you-tee-EFFF, man? "

"I needed to apologize," Mike said as though it were the most obvious answer.

"Oh NO...a proposal as an apology? DUDE, even PUCK knows that's stupid."

"Hey, everyone thought that video thing Artie did for his proposal to Tina was cute. And THAT worked like a charm. It didn't even occur to me she'd say no."

"Well," Matt said, clapping him on the shoulder. " We all know what people say about those of us who assume. What on EARTH would make you think that?"

Mike just traced the bathroom tile with his right foot. "I, uh, asked her a bunch of OTHER times and she was all for it. I figured give her an actual ring and make a big show, and she'd know I was actually good for it this time.

"Other times?" Matt echoed, trying to wrap his brain around how his best friend could be so epically stupid. "OTHER TIMES?" Matt continued to pace back and forth. "Of all the stupid idiotic things to...how many more times?"

"I dunno, man...sort of...every time we broke up?"

"You are SOOO on your own here. You have truly fucked it up this time, my friend. Have you ever tried to propose to her when you WEREN'T in the doghouse?"

"What do you do when you're in trouble with Kurt?" Mike asked.

"I stew about it and then I grovel, like any reasonable man would."

"So THAT'S why you didn't come in with Kurt. You were STEWING!" Mike said with a wry grin, but Matt knew what his best friend was up to. "Come on, man, what was it about THIS time?"

"Ohhhh no. Don't try and turn this around on me! You're the fuck-up here, bud. And I say that with love. Seriously, man…if you were AS good at evading as you were about matters of the heart, we wouldn't BE in this mess. I…HONESTLY don't know how to wrap my brain around all this. I've got a degree in dealing with people doing and saying crazy shit, but this? There IS nothing I can do or say to make things better because this is so far beyond repair that I HOPE for your sake AND hers that she really does move on this time and find another guy more deserving of her. Because man, you SUCK as a boyfriend. If I were her, your ass would've been dumped YEARS ago."

"Guys," Finn said breathlessly, bursting in the bathroom. "Time to go. And Mike, Dude…not even I am THAT stupid."

"Not helping Finn," Matt said as he made his way to the stage.

* * *

Kurt thought after junior year of High School, he'd be FINALLY done with singing _'Don't Stop Believin_.,_' _But noooo, his step-brother had to be an even bigger Journey fan than Mr. Schue. Burt and Carole had let Finn blast Journey to his heart's content, much to Kurt's dismay. He fought back with blasting _Everybody Fits_ as long as Burt would let him get away with it.

And yet, here he was, just minutes away from singing the opening bars backstage.

Figgins' voice could be heard from the stage. It had been a long time since he'd heard the voice, and to be honest, Kurt was shocked the man still had his job. Nobody else had apparently caught on to the fact that he had all the competence of Lindsay Lohan. Sober. The Indian accent was as thick as he ever remembered, and although it had a little more gravel with age, the things coming out of his mouth reminded Kurt that some things never changed.

"Welcome, one and all to the annual PTA meeting. First, I must ask everyone to please turn off all cell phones and electronic devices. And secondly, I apologize to the Wiccan community for any comments I might have made regarding witches and their traditions. Additionally, I have been asked to inform everyone that tots have been banned from school lunches indefinitely, and no amount of rioting will reverse that decision. Although legally, there is nothing I can do to keep you people from assembling in protest, I would ask that if you would like tots, to please bring them from home. And now, I turn your attention to the guest of honor this evening, Mr. Will Scheuster."

The crowd erupted in applause, and Kurt's heart began to pound out of his chest. It'd been a long time sense he'd been on stage, and he'd forgotten how absolutely _terrifying _it could be.

But it wasn't Schue's voice speaking next. It was a voice he thought he'd never have to hear again.

"Well, William, I see that you've been breeding, and you apparently need diapers for something else besides your chin now. I am hurt, no _seriously offended _that I wasn't informed this was your last year. Seriously, the only thing that offends me more is your _hair_. Believe me, it wasn't easy getting away from my Pigmy tribe. And there aren't exactly connecting flights to Cleveland from The Amazon, and you know how I feel about leaving other people in charge. But, war-lord duties bedamned. I had to be here for the send-off. I may not respect your style, your song-choice, or your fondness for losers, but you have my respect as an educator."

"Thank you, Sue," Santana's voice could be heard from behind the curtain.

"But I have a song!"

"Make a You-Tube Video!" Kurt could hear Santana hissing as she dragged her off-stage. He had a hard time keeping from bursting into a fit of giggles back stage, picturing the scene unfold.

"Now, Mr. Schue, would the man of the hour please honor us with a few words?" Santana said with a tone that was a little too happy.

"Wow…I…uh…thanks for coming Sue…" Will said, looking back towards the wings. Mike, Brittany and Quinn, Kurt was sure, were ducking out of view as quickly as possible. "And everyone. So, wow, what a wild and crazy ride this has been, right? Who knew that a Journey song would change so many lives, right? But I guess that's the power of music. I remember what my life was like over twenty-five years ago when I began here at McKinley. I was married to the wrong person. I was just the Spanish teacher. You could see the pavement through the floorboard of my car."

A small chuckle imminated through the crowd.

"But now, I have a slightly-improved ride, my beautiful wife, Emma, my son Elliot…stand up, honey!"

The crowd erupted into brief applause as Kurt guessed Emma stood.

"Years ago, my old Glee coach inspired me, and to this _day_ she's still inspiring people, teaching others to open themselves up to joy, just as she taught me. That is her legacy, and I hope it's been mine. I may have been your teacher, guys, but my students…past and present…taught me about what it means to be a family, what it means to accept each other and allow each other to be our truest selves, to be a safe place for each other, to be a soft place to fall…"

"_I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry!"_ Kurt kept repeating to himself, and so far, he was keeping the tears at bay. _"He's not talking to us. He doesn't even know we're here," _he reminded himself, and sucked in a deep breath. Kurt tried to ignore the pit that had just taken up residence in his stomach and breathed deeply and let it out slowly in an attempt to regain his show-face.

If anyone had asked, it was because of the things his old teacher was saying, and it _was _sweet, and it _was _because of what he was saying, but he was pretty sure that tears were threatening to smudge his make-up for a different reason entirely.

He should've been a soft place for Matt. Matt, who was essentially parent-less because of _him;. _Matt, who was having his family—the people who rejected him—thrust on him all of a sudden due to circumstances beyond his control, and he was trying to do right by their daughter as a result, and what did he do? Get hung up on word-choice.

"And it will be the memories of those lessons that I will cherish the most…" Mr. Schue finished, and Kurt could hear sniffling backstage and in the audience. The beginning chords of _"Don't Stop Believin'"_ rang through the auditorium, and all thoughts of drama were gone.

"Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world," came Rachel's voice ringing through the auditorium. It was like he was in high school all over again. The first time he sang this song with these people, he was still coming to terms with his sexuality, and he was fairly certain that Matt Rutherford's silence had a medical reason behind it.

"OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS!" Mr. Schue's voice could be heard over the music. Kurt was really wishing he could be there to see his expression.

Rachel giggled, but it didn't make her miss the cue.

"She took the midnight train going anywhere," Rachel sang.

Finn's voice came through next. "Just a city boy, born and raised in south Detroit, He took the midnight train goin' anywhere."

"YOU TOO?" Mr. Schue blurted out. "

"A singer in a smokey room, smell of wine and cheap perfume," Kurt sang as the light shown on him. Oh, Gaga, how much had he missed this?

"Kurt, oh man!" Mr. Schue yelled out. Kurt smiled as Matt came on the opposite side of the stage.

"For a smile they can share the night," Matt sang. It had been Kurt's insistence that Matt got a solo. Matt was terrified, Kurt knew, but he was doing a good job of not letting it show.

"It goes on and on and on and on," they finished the verse in harmony.

Tina rolled Artie on stage, the curtains went up and Artie wailed on his guitar solo.

"Workin' hard to get my fill," Artie sang.

"Everybody wants a thrill!" Tina joined in.

"Payin' anything to roll the dice," Mercedes joined in.

"Just one more time," Tina, Artie and Mercedes sang in harmony.

"Some will win, Quinn sang.

"And some will lose," Mike began, looking pointedly at Mercedes.

"Some were born to sing the blues," Santana and Brittany belted out.

"Oh the movie, it never ends," Puck sang.

"It goes on and on and on and on," and they were all singing together again.

Oh, how Kurt had missed this! He missed _them_. Of course it wasn't the same, it could never be the same. They were different. Their lives had led them all in different directions, but still, for one, brief, shining moment, he could forget the hard lessons that the world had taught him. He could forget the mistakes he'd made along the way.

Kurt had some major apologizing on his part to do after the performance, but for now, he'd just revel in the high that was being on stage.


	19. Chapter 19

**Quick Notes - Hi! told you this part was going to come quickly! Squee! and two - because this was decided long before NBK...Kurofsky is straight in this universe. **

BJ reasoned she had likely heard her first story that featured the choir room at McKinley on the day her dads brought her home. But for all the stories over the course of her entire life, this was actually the first time she was in the famous room, and quite frankly it was way smaller than she imagined it. She just could not wrap her head around the fact that until some crazy high school dropout bought them the entire auditorium, this was where practically her entire family had dance rehearsals. There were space issues with that scenario, not to mention the safety aspect. She loved Uncle Finn to death, but the fact he had practiced dancing in here and sent no one to the hospital, as far as she knew (and she would have remembered that story for sure) was probably as close to a miracle as she would ever come to in her lifetime.

Right now she was looking over the trophy case. Neil had waved to her when he dashed into the room but right now he was in the middle of the crush of current and former students circling Uncle Will. This was fine with her. That meant no one was paying attention to her; which further meant she could look at everything and not be called out for it the next time she moaned about hearing yet another story that started with the phrase "_So Mr. Schue had given us this weekly assignment…"_. BJ couldn't remember who exactly had told her, but she did remember at one point the trophy case in this particular room had designated the backup trophy case for the Cheerios but clearly those days were no more. While the trophies designating the various wins at Sectionals, Invitationals and Regionals were all impressive, none of them compared to the five National Championship trophies that she seriously thought were taller than Uncle Finn. The polished silver gleamed in the late afternoon sunlight sneaking in across the top of the room. Hung with care next to each trophy, a framed picture of the members of New Directions in what BJ recognized to be the immediate euphoria of a major win. Giggling, she tapped the glass at the images of the adults in her life in some truly terrible costumes. She knew the theme of the championship show of 2012 had been an all out salute to the 80s and the terrifically tacky neon outfits certainly made that point. Now she really needed to get her hands back on that yearbook again to see if _this_ picture was in there. No way would anyone back home ever believe Daddy had ever worn something so purposefully tacky.

"If you think this is impressive, you should see the haul the hockey team has."

Pushing her hair off her face, BJ cast a glance at the newcomer that had somehow silently slid up next to her. While she didn't claim to recognize all the current members of New Directions on sight, outside of Neil and Chia Pet, this one she totally didn't see the other night at rehearsal or the subsequent party. Judging from his statement about the hockey team and the letterman jacket he wore over his broad shoulders, she was going to guess the fact his entire persona screamed "jock" was an accurate assessment. "Let me guess. You play?" she drawled out, taking a step back from him.

"Starting defender, just like my old man." He smiled proudly tapping the yellow M on his jacket. "You must be new. I certainly would remember seeing someone as beautiful as you in the hall."

She almost felt like looking around to make sure he was talking to her and not some other girl who was seriously dumb enough to fall for such an obvious pick up line. Really? That was going to be his approach? "Something like that." She hedged. It would take entirely too long to explain why she was here and somehow, she had the feeling explaining it to this particular person wasn't going to be worth it.

"Well let me be the first to welcome you to McKinley. Most people around here call me Kurofsky but you can call me JR."

"Oh I feel special." BJ rolled her eyes trying to see if there was anyone she could excuse herself to go see. She'd even take Uncle Tristan if he was an option. Unfortunately it seemed the one time she would actually welcome at least one of them having an eye on her at all times, her entire family had decided to actually mind their own business. Just her luck. If it was someone she was actually interested in, they would be all over her. Since it was someone she had no interest in, they seemed to forget she existed. Looking over at JR, she could tell he was waiting for her to tell him her name. With a sigh she leaned against the trophy case. "BJ."

"Well Beautiful BJ, let me tell you what's what here at McKinley. A girl like you needs to start off here on the right foot." If she hadn't taken a slight step to the right, he would have slung his arm over her shoulder at this point. "Now this send off for Mr. Schue is nice and all but everyone knows only losers join the glee club. Always have been losers. Always will be."

"Losers?" BJ arched one eyebrow upwards. "I counted _five_ national championship trophies behind me. That doesn't sound like losers to me."

Her companion scoffed. "Glee is for losers and queers. Seriously. Could you get any gayer than that shit? Plus they only won those trophies the years the gays ran this room like their own personal dating service. "

"Excuse me?" She could feel her fingers clench into a fist before she had even finished speaking. He wasn't the first bigoted asswipe she had encountered in her life. He probably wouldn't be the last. Just like he wasn't the first one she would punch out and he wouldn't be the last. Her dads had always told her violence never solved anything, but did it ever make her feel better.

"Looky there. Looks like Lei is getting lessons from the originals." JR nodded his head just behind her head. BJ whirled around to see Neil talking happily with her parents. "My dad used to tell me all the time about those two and how he had to put them in their place. Looks like I'll have to carry on yet another family tradition."

Oh so his dad was one of them. One of the bullies she had only heard mentioned in passing. Punching him out had just moved up the ladder from something she wanted to do to something she needed to do. Honestly she would be clearly doing the world a favor. She raised her fist the level of her waist when she felt a pair of hands land on her shoulders.

"BJ!" Will Schuester smiled brightly at his honorary niece, hoping he had in fact intervened in time. He was pretty sure he could restrain BJ while she was still calm but if she had past the point of no return, it would take at least himself and every adult male in the room to stop her. "When exactly where you going to come over and say hi to me?"

"You were busy Uncle Will." BJ said sweetly, not missing the intake of breath her very lucky companion did. "I was just waiting."

"You'll have to excuse us David." Will said to his student standing behind BJ. "I haven't seen this one since Thanksgiving and I want to hear all about the fit your dad had when he saw those streaks in your hair."

"It was pretty much as awesome as you'd think it would be but made even better by the fact I think Papa actually likes them and doesn't want to say anything." BJ smiled, throwing a pointed glance at David Kurofsky Junior as he tried to figure out exactly what just happened as Will lead her towards where Emma was talking with Burt and Susan.

* * *

"Well it looks like the performance was a success." Carole announced as she came up behind Kurt, teasingly patting the hat he had once again managed to get back from BJ.

"As if there was any doubt." Kurt smiled, taking a sip from lukewarm punch. Someone had set up a refreshment area next to the area the jazz ensemble stored their instruments. In his mind he could see Brad giving them all his patented death glare for even thinking of eating near his beloved baby grand. Although since it was a Yamaha, Kurt didn't think it would be the end of the world if say, Finn tripped as he was known to do and spilled his punch on the keys.

"I think Matt thought you and Rachel might kill each other before the curtain rose." Carole pointed out, glancing over to where Matt was talking with Mike and Quinn.

"We were not that bad!" Kurt protested.

"Honey I couldn't love you more if you were my own son and I thought the same thing." Carole pointed out.

"No matter what issues Rachel and I may have leading up to a performance, neither one of us have ever let our personal issues affect what we do on stage." Kurt smiled over at Carole. "Thanks to her, I have a better showface than anyone in Vocal Adrenaline ever dreamed of having."

"You're not the only one." Carole said softly and seriously. Kurt didn't have to see the direction she was looking in to know she was talking about Matt. His partner had put on a great show for the rest of their friends, but Kurt knew he was still brooding on BJ's discovery last night. Add in the completely out of nowhere suggestion they go see his brothers before they left for home and Kurt was actually amazed Matt had managed to find his place for their entrance for the show.

"I know." Kurt sighed, his voice equally soft. "He's doing what he normally does, which is retreat from everyone and everything. It will not be a pleasant couple of days when we get home. Especially if we do end up going to see his brothers this weekend. But we'll get through it."

"See his brothers? When did this come up?"

"On the way over. Apparently Finn and BJ decided to Google where they were and at least one is in town. To the shock of everyone, Matt offered to take her over there to meet them. Of course we haven't exactly had a chance to talk since then about if he's _really_ wants to go through with it."

"I think he should do it. It might make it easier for him to approach his parents if everything goes well with his brothers. Although honestly, Kurt I understand why he's reluctant to do so, I just can't see them slamming the door in his face if he was to show up. They have to wonder where he is and how he is doing. Any parent would."

Kurt shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the next. He always hated when the conversation somehow turned to talk of Matt's parents. They weren't exactly high up on his list of favorite people in the world and even though Matt rarely talked about it, he wasn't blind. He knew what happened all those years ago still bothered Matt deeply. He and Leah had both tried over the years but Matt deflected them at every turn. "They've not shown any interest before now. I don't know why they would decide to start acting human." He muttered.

"Well they've not exactly known where to reach him after he left Lima." Carole reasoned. "It's not like they kept in touch with the Changs or us. And you and Matt didn't exactly send them a change of address card."

It was a brief flash of guilt that crossed Kurt's face but her well trained mother's eyes caught it instantly. She narrowed her eyes as her stepson tried to act nonchalant, the one thing he never could master. Put him up on a stage, Kurt could hide behind any number of personas he chose. Catch him in the middle of a plan? He'd give himself away in two seconds. "Kurt? Is there something I don't know about? Has Matt been trying to get in contact with his parents?"

"No. The last time he tried that was Leah's wedding."

"Then why are you so…." Her voice trailed off as a possibility came to her. Carole closed her eyes and shook her head. Of course. Why hadn't she thought of this before now? Kurt was far too prone to meddle in the lives of people he loved. Especially if he thought if it was far their own good. "Kurt. What have you done?"

If it was anybody but Carole, he would protest he hadn't done anything. If it was anyone but Carole, they may have been skeptical but not pushed the issue. But it was Carole and she had never met an issue that she didn't like to push. "They know where we are. They know what Matt does. They know about BJ. And I know they know because I've been sending them stuff since Matt's graduation from OSU."

"Stuff? What kind of stuff?'

"Graduation announcements. Change of address cards. Birth announcement. News paper clippings. I don't sign it. I just put it an envelope and mail it."

"Oh honey." Carole sighed. Matt clearly didn't know about any of this. He would have never agreed to it in the first place. "You _really_ shouldn't have done that."

"I know. It was a stupid impulse at first. And then I realized that if they ever did express interest in him, Matt wouldn't turn down the offer. And Leah always says he got his stubbornness from both their parents, so I figured if I could help grease the wheel a little it would help. But they've never responded and now it's just habit. A habit I keep telling myself I'll break but I can't."

Carole shook her head. She understood the impulse and she would be lying if the thought of showing up on the Rutherford's doorstep with a box of pictures to force them to see everything they had missed out on hadn't crossed her mind a time or twelve. But making a gesture towards his parents was Matt's call. Not her's and not Kurt's. It was a good thing they never had responded; because she had a feeling at least initially Matt would not be all that thrilled to discover what Kurt had been up to behind his back.

And if this trip to see his brother did happen, Matt was going to find out sooner rather than later.

"You better find time to talk to him. If you do go to see his brother and Matt finds out about this from someone other than you? Your couple of unpleasant days will be an all out fight."

* * *

"So, are you going to tell me the real reason we left early?" BJ questioned as she plopped down on the couch with a smile. Taking the offered can of Diet Cherry Coke from her aunt's hand, she leaned back waiting for an answer.

"And what makes you think there is a real reason?" Leah asked flippantly. "Wasn't the party starting to head towards what you call 'hard core choir geek time'?" The current members of New Directions and other students left the party hours before Leah and BJ said their goodbyes. Everyone, even her supposedly badass husband, still left in the room was clearly feeling the pull of nostalgia.

"Yeah but I generally get ignored when I say that." BJ pointed out. "Plus this family epically sucks at the whole subtlety thing. I saw you keep looking in my direction after you talked to Papa."

There were times like this exact second when Leah realized her niece was entirely too smart for her own good. "Ok, fine. I thought you and I should talk about what you found out yesterday."

"You mean the uncles I didn't know I had." BJ guessed, pulling her legs under her. Leah smiled as she noticed the younger girl tug on the corner of her University of Chicago t-shirt, a habit she had clearly picked up from Matt.

"Yes. I know you are curious about them honey but I really think going to see them this weekend is a bad idea."

"Daddy told me there was drama with your parents but he didn't mention anything about Uncle Steve or Uncle Gabe being a part of it."

"Sweetie they couldn't help but be a part of it. They were in the house. Even after Matt moved out, they were still in town. They didn't try to talk to him. Not once that I know of. And I'm pretty sure my brother would have told me about something like that." Leah reached across the couch to grab BJ's hands. "All three of them were in the same school at the same time and they didn't talk. That's really hard to do at McKinley."

"People change. Didn't you used to tell me that you didn't actually like Uncle Puck for like the first four years you knew him?"

"That was different. Uncle Puck was way too busy trying to impress me and every other girl in his eyesight in all the wrong ways. "Leah smiled softly at those memories. "BJ, I live in Lima too. And Gabe's never come to see me. Not once. People might change but it doesn't seem likely at this point."

"Don't you want to see them? Cause maybe they want to see you too and they don't know how to make the first move. If we go over there, then they would know."

Leah loved BJ's optimism, a trait that relentlessly clashed with the hard, cynical image her niece tried to project at all times. And she would love for BJ to be right. Missing out on Gabe and Steven's lives was the one thing she wished she could change about her life. She hadn't wanted to put them in the middle of the issues with their parents but she had. It wasn't like the idea of trying to reach out to them had never occurred to her. Over the years it had. More than once. But she couldn't chance they would reject Matt as soundly as their parents did. Who knew what was said in that house one Matt left? There was no way on Earth Leah would ever risk Matt facing that type of rejection again. The first time nearly destroyed him. He wouldn't survive a second time.

Of course she couldn't tell BJ even half of that. That was her brother's call as to what to tell his daughter. Not her's.

"BJ I know you hate it when you think we're all protecting you, but you have to trust me this time kiddo. It's not just you I'm looking out for." Leah smiled softly as BJ's eyes widened at her implication. Like any teenager, BJ would and could complain a blue streak about how her parents were ruining her life, but when push came to shove, BJ was just as fiercely protective of her family as they were of her. Leah was willing to bet there were more than a few relationships her niece had ended over homophobic slurs that her fathers had no clue about. "I'm not saying you never meet them. Just give your dads a bit longer than a few hours to consider it? Or at least let Grandma Carole or Grandma Susan approach my brothers first? If they do want to see you, then we can work something out for when you come down between tournaments this summer. Just give it some time."

BJ giggled. "Somehow I don't think sending Grandma Carole or Grandma Susan would be a good idea."

"True. What about Uncle Artie? He's technically not family but he knows everything. And it takes a lot to get under his skin."

BJ nodded quickly. "Yeah. Uncle Artie would be perfect. You'll ask him?"

"I'll ask him."


	20. Chapter 20

**Finals are a bitch and real life sucks. Enough said there. Forgive our lateness and let us know you still love us!**

"Dude you know you're really strong for a little guy," Puck slurred slightly as he once again threatened to topple over Kurt's head and onto the ground. Kurt grunted in response, choosing to ignore the entirely way-too-pleased smile Matt had on his face right now. The only reason, and Kurt did mean _only_, he was the one charged with drunk Puck duty was because Matt had obliged Mercedes and kept her on the dance floor once the party moved from the choir room to the piano bar Mr. Schue had frequented since what was probably the dawn of time.

"Don't call me little," Kurt grunted as he tried to keep Puck steady enough to make it into his house. Honesty his partner could help a little at this point. Sure the entire car ride Puck had been Kurt's problem since Matt had drove, but now? Puck was Matt's brother-in-law after all. Shouldn't this be his job? Or was this some passive-aggressive way of Matt's to get back at him for his admittedly over-reaction to a bad word choice? Matt wasn't really that petty? Was he?

"Yeah he had that growth spurt at the end of senior year," Matt pointed out, just barely keeping from breaking into hysterical laughter when Puck managed to trip while standing still. "And he was on the football team, remember?"

"You may have won that game, but I made that dance badass," Puck pointed out, waving his finger into the air.

"Of course you did, Captain Bad Ass." Kurt muttered, pretending to not notice the snort Matt let out while trying to hold back his laugh. He was annoyed with him right now damn it. "You could help you know."

"Someone has to open the door." Matt pointed out, placing the key into the lock before opening the door.

"My hero." Kurt said darkly. "And now for a phrase I never thought I would say. Puck, it's time to get you into bed."

"I don't swing that way but if I did, you so wouldn't be my type. Too high maintenance. You're too much work dude. I like them easier."

"Oh Leah is going to find this conversation just fascinating," Kurt said as he managed to shove Puck's elbow off his forehead long enough to shoot Matt a look. "I'm literally dropping him in Leah's lap. Make sure BJ hasn't decided to try and pull an all nighter again would you? She'll be cranky enough tomorrow with the twins. We won't be lucky enough to avoid a fight two days in a row."

It was a fair point. But fear of an all-out war between BJ and the twins wasn't exactly the reason Matt reacted to the not so much a request but an order. Truth was he was dangerously close to cracking up if Puck attempted fall on top of Kurt one more time. Or continued his lecture from the car about how Neil Diamond was in fact the baddest badass of them all. And if he started laughing, that would be just one more thing to add to the list of things Kurt was within perfect rights to be pissed at him over. He liked to keep that list to one thing to apologize for at a time if he could help it.

The apology he owed was the other reason he was making his way down the darkened steps towards the basement. The one Matt had planned out during the party needed some fine-tuning to say the least. There probably weren't nearly enough ways to say 'I'm an idiot' to be sufficient for Kurt. Not to mention the way his apologies usually ended was not exactly appropriate considering they were still staying in his sister's house. His sister, along with a lack of boundaries, also had a big mouth and wouldn't hesitate to embarrass the crap out. He really didn't need to give Leah another reason to make him blush. She had plenty on her own already.

The soft glow of the television was the only light in the room, illuminating BJ's sleeping form in its flickering light. Per usual, she was curled up into a position that could only be described as the most uncomfortable fetal position known to man. He used to be worried about the state of her back when she woke up in the morning, but Matt was now convinced it was a blessing of youth that she didn't seem to feel any ill effects. A quick glance at the screen confirmed for him that BJ was in fact sleeping with a biography of Charles Manson for a soundtrack. Sometimes, she was so very much his daughter. Matt leaned over to kiss her forehead, chuckling as she swatted and shifted herself further into the couch cushions as a response. Picking up the remote from where it had fallen from her hand, Matt turned to turn off the TV when a note in a familiar hand caught his eye.

He could make enough out in the dim light to tell it was addressed to both him and Kurt. Casting a speculative look at BJ as he turned off the TV, he wondered what exactly she would have felt the need to write. BJ would much rather talk over writing it down. If she could manage to stay up past her curfew to accomplish it, even more so. Making his way to the guest room, it was only the lack of light that kept Matt from reading the letter immediately.

"The next time Puck decides to attempt to drink college frat boys under the table, he is your problem. He is your family not mine," Kurt announced as Matt entered the room, his arms crossed in front of him. His eyes changed from annoyed to puzzled when he noticed Matt staring at the piece of paper in his hand. "What's that you've got?"

"A letter from BJ." Matt held up the piece of paper so Kurt could see the familiar handwriting himself. "Addressed to both of us."

"BJ? _Our_ BJ? Wrote us a letter?" Kurt sat down on the corner of the bed, patting the space beside him for Matt to sit. "Oh you can't possibly keep me in suspense over this."

Sitting next to Kurt, Matt held out the paper so they could both read at the same time.

_Papa and Daddy-_

_First off, I guess you both did ok tonight. Alright, maybe better than ok. You will be very pleased to know I so won that betting pool on Uncle Finn. I knew you both wouldn't let him trip or anything like that! So thanks for that. I (and my mp3 collection) so appreciate that. _

_Secondly, was the choir room always that small? I have a very hard time believing all those number__s__ I've heard about and seen videos of were__actually were practiced there. Honestly? Those videos Uncle Artie showed me were filmed there? Really? You can tell me the truth you know. I can take it. The school totally took space away from it right? The school's been remodeled? _

_And I've been thinking. About the whole new uncle business. I know we've got the usual tour of relatives to go on and if we miss one we will never hear the end of it. And I'm really getting scared that if we don't show up at Grandma Susan's at some point she's going to somehow pack herself into one of our suitcases just to make sure we are eating. That would just be bad. So it's totally fine with me if we put off that whole visit thing until later. Like when I come down between tournaments? So yeah, don't re-arrange the almighty plan that's been in place since forever. It will just happen next time._

_And I'm only doing this letter thing because I know how long hard-core choir geek time gets. As it is, I'll probably be up tomorrow before you all get home. So don't think this is a new trend or anything._

_Love,_

_BJ_

"Well that was unexpectedly sweet of her." Kurt smiled softly as he folded the letter carefully. This was getting saved so it could come back to embarrass BJ later. Probably sooner than later if that boy he had seen flirting with BJ was any indication. He made a mental note to quiz Leah, Tina and Mercedes about who exactly that boy was and if he needed to borrow his dad's flame thrower anytime soon.

"It was," Matt nodded as Kurt moved to put the letter in his suitcase. "I suspect Leah had something to do with that"

"Of course she did." Kurt agreed as he moved to stand in front of Matt. "I hear that's what family does. Look out for each other."

"Yeah," Matt whispered softly as Kurt rested his hands on Matt's shoulders, bending down enough for them to look into each other's eyes. "It's come to my attention recently that I'm bad at letting people do that."

"Oh? It's only recently come to your attention?" Kurt quirked an eyebrow upwards, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling.

"It was a real breakthrough moment for me," Matt deadpanned before he released a sigh. "I'm sorry. I should have just talked with you instead of stewing. I was just…"

"Caught off-guard and stewing," Kurt interrupted. "I shouldn't have jumped all over you like that. This was the last thing you expected and I knew that wasn't what you meant."

"But you were right. If I wanted BJ to know about what happened I should have said something before now. And I know that if you had tried to delay her, she would just get more curious and she'd probably be camping out in Gabe's back yard right now."

"I'm sure I have no idea where she picked up her stubbornness from." Kurt joked.

"It's a mystery," Matt said, nodding his head in agreement, his smile matching Kurt's. "Forgive me for being an idiot?"

"Only if you forgive me for being an over-sensitive idiot," Kurt replied as he leaned forward and kissed Matt lightly.

"Nothing to forgive." Matt smiled before returning the kiss. He rested his hands on Kurt's hips, pulling his partner closer to him before deepening the kiss slightly. Kurt's hands snaked up Matt's shoulders and rested at the nape of his neck.

"Did I mention how great you did on your solo?" Kurt asked between kisses, his hands slipping down to tug on the tie from the costume Matt had never changed out of. "You really should sing more often."

"You're biased," Matt countered, his lips dancing around Kurt's jaw line. "You're the singer in this relationship remember?"

"You're so sexy when you sing," Kurt whispered as he pushed them both back towards the bed. "So maybe it's a good thing only I really know about it."

"Kurt…" Matt protested, admittedly not very forcefully. "We're still at Leah's. You're making it hard…"

"Kind of my entire goal here."

"To stop." Matt finished. "You know this is a bad idea. Leah is up. And so is Puck."

"One: Puck is drunk. " Kurt peppered his point with a kiss to the spot on Matt's neck he knew his partner was helpless to resist. "Too drunk to actually stand on his own. He'll think everything is just a bad alcohol-induced dream. Two: we've never paid Leah back for the whole make us think Tina is pregnant plan. Or the noises."

"And three," Kurt continued, a wicked gleam in his eye. "We do have an apology to finish properly."

It was a bad idea. A very bad idea. It was also impossible for Matt to tell Kurt no when he looked at him like that. And somehow that look made a very bad idea seem far too good to resist. With a smirk, Matt moved quickly, pinning Kurt underneath him.

"Can't leave an apology incomplete."


	21. Chapter 21

"PUCK!" BJ could hear Daddy's voice perfectly from her spot in the den where she was sleeping. She yawned and stretched and realized that the letter wasn't anywhere to be found. Good. Her parents had gotten the message.

"I had two cosmos last night," he was ranting to Aunt Leah. "Two! I did my fair share of partying at Bowling Green. Two cosmos have NEVER given me this bad of a headache."

"Maybe you're just getting older and can't handle your liquor like you used to," Papa suggested.

She could practically hear Daddy shaking his head. "I'm a light-weight, but I'm not THAT bad! I think someone must've spiked the punch. And by someone, I mean Puck."

"MY husband? Spike the punch? Never!" Aunt Leah returned. BJ put a hand over her mouth to stop herself from the giggle-fit she was about to have.

"You were sober enough to manage to get Puck into bed last night," Papa argued. "and Leah, you read anything into that, just remember. I know where you live."

From her spot, BJ couldn't see Aunt Leah swatting Papa with something, but she could here "Ow!" loud and clear, which made Daddy wince.

"Why does sound have to be so…loud?" Daddy whined.

"Maybe the punch wasn't spiked. Maybe you're coming down with something," Papa said. "Because I had a few glasses of punch, and I didn't have anything at the bar because I was the DD, and I'm fine."

"Speaking of last night, you both. Were. AWESOMESAUCE!" She retrieved a bottle of Ibuprofen from the cabinet. "Take a couple of those. "

"Thanks," Daddy muttered.

"And not that I want to give you guys MORE of a headache, but as an educator, I know BJ is as Tom-Boy as they come, but that doesn't mean that boys aren't noticing her."

'_Ohhhh no. Seriously? She's bringing this subject up? During breakfast? Does she WANT me to lose my appetite?' BJ wondered._

Papa laughed. "I know. She's had a couple of boys come around, Lee."

"And it's not like the kid who was hitting on her last night was the first kid who's ever hit on her," Daddy said. "Who was that she was talking with, anyway?"

"Oh, nobody," Aunt Leah said in a high-pitched voice. "Nobody in particular."

"Lee, you'd make a terrible spy," Papa chided. "You aren't fooling anybody with that tone of voice."

"His name is Dave," she said quickly. "He's a big dumb jock and he's in my remedial class."

"Aaaaand…" Daddy prodded.

"And what more do you really need to know? You're never seeing him again ANYWAY," Aunt Leah argued.

"HIS NAME IS KAROFSKY," BJ blurted out from her spot from behind the den.

"BJ, honey, come in here and get your breakfast before it gets cold," Aunt Leah instructed.

"What did you say, Princess?" Daddy asked her, arms folded.

"Karofsky. His name was Dave Karofsky."

"Get me a phone book," Kurt ordered Leah. "Get me a phone book NOW!"

"Kurt…what do you need…?"

"Leah, he doesn't need the phonebook," Matt said.

"Yes. Yes I do. Do you or do you NOT remember how much hell that douche-bag gave us in high school?"

"One," Papa began slowly, "That was high school. It's been a few years since high school. Two, you need to take a step back and take a deep breath. The likelihood that we will EVER see any of the Karofsy's again anytime soon is slim to none. And Leah just said Mr. Schue had to pull HER off of HIM…and three, we raised her to take care of herself."

BJ made a mental note to find out just who this Karofsky person was. Daddy never really DID like it when other boys came around who were more than friends, but this was different…Dave was a jerk, and she'd wished Uncle Will would've let him punch him out like she wanted to when she had the chance, but now she was curious.

Clearly, it was time to do some more research.

But that could wait.

* * *

"Kurt," Matt said warningly as they pulled into the Chang's driveway, "behave."

"And why wouldn't I?" Kurt said, beaming angelically.

"Because I can practically hear the wheels in your head spinning as we speak. You are plotting to get Mike and Mercedes back together."

"I am NOT!" Kurt said indignantly. "Look, I haven't been this mad at Mike since he took me to you and Leah's apartment that one time. I remember _why_ I was so furious, too," he said, avoiding the details for BJ's sake, who was sitting in the back. "And that's why I'm letting them sort this out on their own."

"Daddy, I thought you and Papa were friends before you got together…so…why were you mad at Uncle Mike for bringing you to see him?"

"Long story," Matt and Kurt said in unison.

"Matt, I swear on my stack of Martha Stewart Living magazines that I am going to be the LAST one to interfere with Mike and Mercedes getting back together. I even set her up on a date at the concert last night."

Matt's eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"And if I REEEEALLY wanted to set her up, I would've asked her out to lunch with us and left out the fact that we're coming here. Do you see her car anywhere near the driveway?"

Matt had to admit, he didn't. "Hey, whose Jeep IS that parked in the driveway?" he wondered, pointing to the shiny red Wrangler he'd just pulled up behind.

"We'll find out in a second," BJ reasoned, the seatbelt clicking as she climbed out of the car. "And Papa, if you think I'm not going to find out about WHY Daddy didn't want to see you, think again," she smirked, and bounded up the walkway to the house, ringing the doorbell.

"Uncle Twinkle!" she squealed as Mike spun her around. "Who's in the gas-guzzler?"

"That's your Old Man's friends from college. The Parker's."

"Not you again," Chase Parker said from the living room.

"Don't I feel special," BJ said, rolling her eyes. "How goes, Chia Pet?"

Chase just shook his head. "We're playing Dance Party on the Wii if you want to join."

"I apologize for my son, Matt," Clara said, reaching up on her tip-toes to give Matt a hug. "You guys were fantastic last night!"

"Kurt," she said, reaching up to hug him. "So, Matt told me you used to be on Project Runway years and years ago. What was Tim Gunn like?"

"Matt, dude," Terry said, pulling him inside, "most of the time, I'd say you shouldn't quit your day job, but in this case…" Terry said, shaking Matt's hand. "What about working for me?"

"Excuse me?" Matt asked, startled by the question.

"I'm serious, man. Move back home. With the political climate being the way it is now, alternative families are a growing part of the demographic here. We really need someone with your expertise. What's your current job now?"

"I work at Chicago Memorial on their psych unit."

"Jesus Christ, Matt. You work ridiculous hours. Weekends, too, I bet. What would you think about an honest-to-God nine-to-five gig?"

Matt glanced over at Kurt, who was still chattering with Clara. It DID sound tempting, but Matt shook his head. Half-wondering if Susan Chang hadn't put his old friend up to this. "My kid's a sophomore in high school. My partner's established in Chicago. I can't just ask them to pick up and leave."

"Yeah well, at least think about it?" Terry said.

Matt nodded, and was glad when Susan emerged from the kitchen.

"Lunch is ready! I did not slave over a hot stove all morning to have you all wasting time standing around. And most of you are far too skinny," she glared at Chase Parker. "Especially you."


	22. Chapter 22

There were a few facts of life BJ was becoming uncomfortably familiar with as her summer vacation reached the stage just after initial giddiness but before uncomfortable anticipation of school starting.

Number one. This summer was shaping up to be seriously boring. Even her volleyball tournament didn't hold any surprises this year. She had been to all of these tournaments before. And as far as she could tell, there were barely any new people doing summer AAU volleyball this year. Which meant the majority of the people who completely annoyed her, she was totally going to see and there wasn't that a great potential in the increase of awesome people to offset the suck.

Number two. She really needed to re-evaluate her no baby-sitting non- relatives stance. Maybe she wasn't exactly the first person that came to mind when an adult needed a baby sitter. And perhaps the people in her building had things like nannies so baby sitters weren't exactly needed often. But still there had to be someone. Someone she knew with a kid that wouldn't be completely annoying. (All right maybe she needed to work on the nurturing part of the whole take care of kids thing.)

Because there _had_ to be a better way to make money this summer than working, _once again_, for Daddy.

So big deal that _technically_ she wasn't allowed to have more normal summer jobs than run a register. And ok, so she probably made more than most kids doing those jobs because she doubted Daddy actually paid her minimum wage like he said he did. And yeah, her volleyball schedule did kind of demand she work for either someone very understanding about time off or family. But still there had to be a less, argument-intensive way to earn some extra money.

Not to say she didn't on some level enjoy the two hour argument over whether there really was a difference between "baby blue", "cornflower blue" and the wonderfully simple "blue". And the perks were definitely awesome. So long as she was finished with what work he gave her and she wasn't annoying his clients, Daddy totally didn't mind if she surfed the internet and improved her epic skills at Text Twist. This made her self-appointed research task this summer so much easier to accomplish.

This brought her to Number Three: Research when you weren't sure what you were researching for exactly was time consuming and more than a little boring. As far as she could find the Karofsky family in Lima was rather boring and run-of- the-mill. The stuff old sitcoms Grandpa B made her watch were made of for sure. They were all a family of jocks, and BJ knew how Daddy felt about _that _particular clique, but then, Uncle Finn, Uncle Mike, Uncle Puck and even Papa fit that category, too, so clearly, not ALL jocks were bad. Ok, so the son was approaching top-level douchitude, but that wasn't necessarily because of his family's main extracurricular activity. Beyond that, there was nothing to warrant Daddy's over-reaction to some seriously lame flirting.

Honestly, he had heard more lewd things yelled at her when they went to Sox games. And like Papa and Uncle Will had pointed out, she was the one who was going to clock him into next week. She had figured out from the little bigot's words his father was most likely one of the idiots her fathers had to deal with in high school, but they had run into those guys before in Lima. Daddy had never lost it like he did that morning those times. He had always said living well was the best revenge he could think of and he was quite happy living well away from them. It was a big mystery for no discernable reason whatsoever.

BJ leaned over, pointing her feet towards her head as she continued stretching after her volleyball practice. Practice had been over for the past ten minutes but she was in no hurry to leave the overheated gym. It was nice to have a few more minutes of freedom. The only reason she had finally convinced her fathers she really didn't need one of them to pick her up after every volleyball practice was to practically sign in blood that she would get herself either home or to Daddy's office immediately after practice. Over the past school year, she had been able to work in about a ten-minute window, but she wasn't about to screw up. Not that she actually did anything EXCITING in that all-too-brief ten minutes, but it was part of her whole 'conquer the world' plan. Or at least, one small victory in her ongoing quest to prove that yes, she is, in fact, responsible. And yes, she can, in fact, handle herself better than her parents gave her credit for. She knew from experience that she could tell that to Papa and Daddy until she was blue in the face. But this was the first time they'd given her an inch. She was determined to turn it into a mile.

"Well if it isn't the most beautiful girl in my world."

She whipped her head up, a grin forming on her face when she saw her godfather standing there tapping his foot per usual. "Well since Auntie M dumped your sorry butt, I'm the only girl in your world Uncle Twinkle." BJ laughed as she stood up to hug him. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see my favorite girl."

"Again, since Auntie M kicked you to the curb, I'm the default."

"I really need to have a long talk with your dads about your clearly evident eavesdropping skills." Mike sighed as he released her from his hug.

"Oh please. They already know about that. They've talked about any presents I'm getting in code since I was nine. And it's not like either one's been very quiet about how badly you screwed up this time. I love you Uncle Twinkle but you so messed up this time."

"So everyone keeps telling me."Mike sighed, slinging his arm over BJ's shoulders. "Come on. I'll treat you to something Kurt would kill us both for eating before dinner and you can tell me all about the names I've been called."

"Oh I'm sure you've been called them to your face." BJ grinned as she bent to pick up her gym bag. She wondered when exactly Uncle Mike had let Papa know he was going to come to town. Considering everything that went down when they were in Lima, it was a little surprising Papa didn't mention it, but maybe Auntie M had called and the cycle was about to start all over again. Or Uncle Mike was about to embark on the most epic public begging known to man and had shown up to try to get Daddy to help him. And knowing Uncle Mike, he asked them to keep his visit a surprise for her. She didn't see him often and she probably would have driven them crazy if she had known he was coming ahead of time. Flinging her bag over her shoulder, she started to lead Mike out of the gym. "But if you really want a replay, I'm happy to help."

* * *

The door was open, Matt noticed as he made his way down the hall towards the apartment. Not unlocked, it was _open_. He could see the tiniest corner of the occasional table that stood just inside the entryway. If he had come from the other direction, he would have never even noticed it. A quick glance at his watch confirmed Kurt and BJ should be home now. It was probably the one day this week they hadn't come home arguing and BJ slamming the door out of frustration, because otherwise, he would've surely heard their raised voices by now.

The near-daily shouting matches had proved that Matt's original hunch about this particular venture had been correct. He had privately thought the idea for BJ to work with Kurt was a potential disaster in the making. BJ had absolutely no interest in what Kurt did and it was only a matter of time before she said something to one of Kurt's clients. But she had been adamant about working this summer and Kurt really was the only person who could work around her schedule. He would just have to keep reminding them both it was only for a summer, not a lifetime.

"Well this is a nice surprise." Matt turned around to see Kurt walking down the same direction he just came from.

"I think this is the first time in a month we've managed to get home at the same time," Kurt said. "It'll be nice to have dinner altogether for a change."

"You know summer. Keeps the crazy people outside." Matt joked before checking his watch. Ever since they had gotten back from Lima, work had exploded for both of them. Matt was busy training the newest hires fresh out of school and Kurt had taken on several new and demanding clients. They had never really schedules that allowed for traditional working hours, but the past few weeks had been even crazier than usual.

"And surprise, surprise, apparently they are all swarming into my office," Kurt groaned.

"Speaking of surprise, looks like BJ beat us both home,"

"Amazing." Kurt drawled as they made their way to the door of the apartment. "I would have thought she'd try to stretch her ten-minute window into thirty."

"If she had realized she was going to be the first one home, she would have." Matt agreed as he opened to door only to stop when he had barely made it inside.

"Matt?" Kurt asked as he barely stopped himself from running directly into Matt's back. "What…"

Kurt's voice died in his throat as he began to look around the apartment. Shelves that once housed the TV, DVD player and video game console now stood empty. Holes formed around the wires from where they were yanked from the electronics. The stereo that had occupied one corner of the room was no longer there. A few nails in the wall were the only indication the few pieces of art they had managed to collect over the years were missing. Kurt assumed the rest of the rooms looked about the same. The three laptops were certainly long gone.

Kurt shoved past Matt, racing towards BJ's room. Matt's heart dropped to his feet as he felt the same panic he saw in his partner's face.

BJ was supposed to be home. Had she barely missed them? Called the police? He hoped with all this might that this was the case. She was probably freaking out right now, unsure what to do.

"BJ?" he called out, noticing Matt was close behind him as the door to her room came into sight. "You ok Princess?"

Kurt twisted the knob to her door, not bothering to knock as he usually did. Although it would take an expert to realize it, the room was in a state of disarray that was greater than normal. The laptop BJ usually kept on her desk was predictably missing. Her prized drum set, a "gift" from Finn and Courtney was gone as well. But that wasn't the most important thing missing.

BJ wasn't there.

* * *

"Hey Barney!" BJ trilled cheerfully as she and Mike walked through the main lobby of her building. She gestured over her shoulder at the three cop cars sitting on the street. "What's going on? Is the new guy in 542D a drug smuggler like we thought?"

"Miss BJ!" Barney Fletcher breathed as he rose from his desk, relief clearly written on his wrinkle Shar Pei dog face. "You're safe. Thank God!"

"Of course I'm safe. What the hell is with you?" BJ questioned, shooting Mike a confused look as the doorman she knew since the day she moved in at age 6 nearly tackled her to the ground with his hug. "Barney? You just saw me this morning."

"I'm sorry, but when your dads called to say you were missing, I just assumed…."

"Wait. What? Why would they think I'm missing? What on earth would make them think I'm missing?"

"They told me they came home and found the apartment vandalized, and everything was gone," Barney explained. "They assumed you got home before they did and they thought they'd taken you, too. Just got through talkin' with the cops myself. I had to give them the surveillance videos. And wouldn't you know it, those crooks did the job right underneath my nose! You should go upstairs. Your parents are about to work themselves into heart-attacks with worry."

"They would worry…why, exactly? They know I'm with Uncle Mike." She looked back and forth between the two men, stopping when she noticed the guilty look on her godfather's face. "Uncle Mike? They did know you were picking me up right?"

"This….might have been a spur of the moment trip." Mike admitted, knowing full well Kurt was likely to use that freakish kicker leg on him and Matt was going to drop him off the balcony when they got upstairs. "I came to see you first."

"Oh _God_. And I thought they knew you were in town so I didn't call them." BJ groaned. "Oh I am in such major trouble now. I can kiss ever being allowed to go anywhere on my own ever again goodbye. I have to get upstairs and hope they don't kill me."

She took off at a run for the elevators, with Mike close behind her. Thankfully a car was actually empty and ready to go when she arrived. If it wasn't for the fact they lived on the fourteenth floor, she would have run up the steps to save time. Of all the times for her phone to die, it had to happen today didn't it? When she finally found the charger, her voice mail was going to be full with frantic messages from her fathers. This was just great. Her great plan to prove that she was totally responsible and mature was going so well. And this had to happen.

"I'm sorry BJ. I'll take total responsibility for this." Mike promised her as the cab rose to their floor. "I promise. I'll tell them both this was all my fault."

"Yeah well first they'll have to _listen_ to you. And believe that I didn't put you up to it." BJ pointed out as the cab slid to a stop, opening the doors to let her dash out. She let out a little groan when she saw two police officers standing outside the door. They were going to be the talk of the building and not for anything cool, but because Uncle Mike just couldn't stop himself from making stupid decisions. Once everyone calmed down, she was seriously going to ask if she could pick a new godfather. Preferably, this new godfather would be someone that didn't cause so much drama; someone nice and low key. Someone like Uncle Tristan.

"Excuse me. I need to get inside." She excused herself as she tried to get around the two officers and inside the door.

"Hold on little lady." The taller blonde of the pair put his hands on her upper arms to stop her. A quick glance at the name badge pinned to his uniform identified him as O'Reily. She looked up at him, ready to say whatever she had to get past him, when she saw a flicker of recognition cross his face. "Wait. Are you Bethany?"

She groaned, rolling her eyes on reflex. "BJ. _Please_ don't call me Bethany. I beg of you."

"And who's this with you BJ?" Officer O'Reily asked, smiling at his partner at her impatience.

"That's my uncle. This is all a huge misunderstanding and it's totally his fault. If you'll just let us both in, we can explain everything and you all can go catch real criminals or something."

Officer O'Reily motioned with his head for Mike to follow them as he led the way into the apartment. BJ blinked as she saw the trashed state of the living room. "Holy shit." She swore, stopping in her tracks. "What happened?"

"Burglery." Officer O'Reily explained. "And up until about two seconds ago, we thought a possible kidnapping."

BJ threw her head back, groaning at the ceiling. "Uncle Mike. You're a dancer. Aren't you supposed to have _good _timing?"

"BJ?" came Papa's voice in an almost-whisper from behind her. She tensed, bracing herself for the verbal lashing she was sure to get.

But it never came. She felt rather than saw both of her dads as they both pulled her into a hug. For a few minutes she felt as if she might have to remind them both that breathing was an important process in this whole living thing. When she felt at least one pair of arms (she had no idea whose at this point) loosen, she took a small step back.

"I am sooo sorry. I'm so sorry. I thought Uncle Mike was just surprising me. I thought you knew he was in town. I would have called. You know I would have called."

"Mike?" Matt parroted looking over BJ's head to see his best friend standing in the middle of the living room for the first time. "You were with Mike?"

"It was a surprise. I didn't know she didn't call you." Mike blurted out, and took a step towards them, his entire body language radiating guilt. "You know I would never do anything to worry you guys on purpose. And of course now I see why you freaked out. I am so sorry."

"We'll talk about all this later," Kurt said as he held up a hand, keeping the other one firmly on BJ's arm. "Right now, all I care about is the fact you're here and you're safe. We can talk about the rest later."

"Yes," Matt nodded, before dropping a kiss on the top of BJ's head. "We can talk about all this later."


	23. Chapter 23

**I KNOW! Two updates in TWO days on this story? I sadly don't think it's a trend but you approve right? **

There were certain things in life that would always be a mystery to Kurt Hummel. First being the whole no-white-after Labor Day rule. The white trench coat he was currently donning to shield himself from the rain that came and went earlier that day was too fabulous to be allowed only in the summer months. Second, who decided that socks and sandals were a good match and why did it catch on with older straight men (and certain fifteen year-old-girls he amended, noting the pair of sandals BJ had discarded in the kitchen). Third, how on EARTH had his dad managed to be his parent with all his sanity in still tact?

Kurt remembered with brutal clarity the kind of stunts he used pull when he was BJ's age, and wondered now how his father gave him the independence he had at fifteen. He was still fairly sure that the heart attack his dad suffered his senior year in college was at least partially related to all his drama, and if Kurt wasn't as health-conscious as he was, he was pretty sure that BJ would've driven him to an early grave long ago.

Not that the kind of fear he felt when he thought BJ was kidnapped for that brief, horrible moment was COMPLETELY alien to him. BJ developed a habit of wandering off as a little kid and almost as soon as she was able to walk, and Matt and Kurt had both become all-too-familiar with the police departments in nearly every section of Chicago, Lima, and after one memorable vacation to see Mike and Rachel when they were both in the same off-Broadway production over Thanksgiving, the Chinatown section of New York City. Puck's initial suggestion to put an actual LEASH on his niece after that was quickly shot-down by both himself and Matt, although secretly, Kurt had to admit it wasn't a half-bad idea.

For once, though, he was eternally grateful for her independent streak. '_If she'd been home…_' tears sprang up in his eyes and he released a shaky breath as the litany of grim possibilities ran through his head for the millionth time since the cops left after taking statements. They'd universally agreed that sleep would NOT happen in that apartment if they stayed the night, so they decided a hotel was really the only option for them, and Mike offered to call his hotel and put them up in a suite there.

Kurt went to pack, but found that most of his prized wardrobe accumulated over the years was gone, so Kurt didn't have much to put in a suitcase. He would've sat on the couch for a minute of peace, but that was impossible because the couch was gone. The kitchen table was still there, mercifully, but the gaping hole where the microwave had once been just served as a reminder of what had happened earlier that day. Mike was helping BJ pack. Matt was back in their room packing as well. Apparently clothes from Target and Wal-Mart weren't prized by criminals, but Kurt's designer labels were ripe for the picking. If he found his beloved sharkskin Monolo jacket on E-bay, there would be hell to pay.

At the end of the day, though, the clothes didn't matter. The stuff didn't matter. Renter's insurance would cover the loss. But they'd never be able to rest easy under this roof again. BJ was safe, thankfully, and the best part of the deal was that it was just more excuses to shop. That's what the three other break-ins that had happened since he moved in with Matt all those years ago had taught him. That, and the only way to sleep through the night after the place you called home was violated by people who probably had no appreciation for the things that took years to accumulate was to move. He thought about calling his dad and telling him the latest development, but put down the phone and thought better of it. If he called home, it would just cause panic, and really, there was no reason for it. The drama was over. There was nothing to tell, honestly. He picked up the paper he'd initially discarded in the foyer after he and Matt made their initial horrific discovery and flipped to the real-estate section of the Chicago Tribune.

He glanced at the paper's offerings. The page featured brownstones not far from where they lived, advertising two bedroom-two-and-a-half bathrooms. Further glances at suburbs of Chicago, and there were houses that featured pools in the back and a fenced-in yard. A _yard_. He could commute. The idea of living in Suburbia wasn't exactly appealing, but a yard would be kind of awesome. BJ had never had one of those. BJ attended a private all-girl's school, so it wasn't like districts were an issue. And although he doubted that the housewives of Suburbia would be as accepting of their little family as people were in the city, Matt wouldn't be able to fight his argument that it'd be safer.

The first apartment he and Matt shared was so tiny you could walk across the entire length of it in nine steps. It was on the fifth floor, and they stopped trying to get the air-conditioning unit to work after the first week of what had to be the hottest summer in Chicago on record. But in the winter, the fact that heating was also non-existent wasn't much of an issue, because, there was, of all things, a fireplace. Initially, the sofa was making the use of the fireplace rather impossible, but the first night the temperature dipped below thirty, Kurt redecorated before Matt's shift was finished, and a fire was roaring when eh got home. This of course, became the first of MANY of Kurt's remodeling attempts, and Matt just accepted the idea that wherever they lived, it would be redecorated every…few months or so.

It was, after all, often the only thing to do when sleep proved impossible when they shared a block with less-than-savory individuals. He and Matt were often woken up by the sound of neighbors in full-on screaming matches, drug dealers yelling at clients, and the occasional gun-shot going off. The whine of car alarms being broken into was more common than police sirens. Kurt would entertain himself by playing guess-the-pitch-of-the-car-alarm when it happened late at night, and although normally the less-than-favorable atmosphere would've made Kurt head for the hills, he didn't mind because after years of stupidity and doubt, he finally had _Matt_. It was like he was living in a scene from _Rent_. He was Angel, and Matt was like his own personal Collins. Only without AIDS.

But it wasn't fiction, this was real-life, and when their apartment was broken into while they were home in the middle of the day by a crack-head looking for his next fix, they'd moved into another apartment, glad that Matt had only a month-to-month lease. This one actually had a separate bedroom. Then when Matt came home from a long, exhausting shift interning at the hospital, he found the place ransacked and everything of value, little as it was, gone. Then they found a place with an actual _hallway_ and an extra room. And well, it seemed unreasonable to have a whole extra room with nobody in it. That's when Kurt suggested they begin to look into adoption. The process had been a lot more complicated than either of them bargained for. _Project Runway_ and three more attempts later, even WITH Quinn's help, they finally had BJ, and probably wouldn't have stayed in the two-bedroom apartment forever, but the burglary that happened when she was five and a half certainly made the decision to leave a lot easier.

BJ didn't remember that day at all, but Matt and Kurt would never forget it. She was, thankfully, visiting Finn and Courtney for a few days in Lansing at the time. All she knew was they told her she was moving on the way home from the airport. He'd hoped that moving to a pricier high-rise with a doorman would've spared BJ from the trauma of a break-in, but Barney Fife proved to be about as effective as Principal Figgins in the end.

Normally, he would've been furious at Matt's best friend for just…showing up and taking their daughter without calling him or Matt first, but right now, he couldn't help but feel extremely grateful.

He was drawn out of his thoughts by the buzz of the cell phone. If he'd bothered to check the caller ID, he wouldn't have bothered picking up, because he REALLY didn't need his dad trying to bring his flamethrower of justice on the next flight to Chicago. Then he'd be on the No-Fly List at the very least, and that just wouldn't do.

"How's it goin' Kiddo?" Kurt almost jumped at the sound of his voice. He _should've _expected his father to call. After all, he'd called him around this time of day without fail ever since his Bowling Green days, but with all the commotion, it completely caught him off guard.

"Dad! Everything's good. It's great!" He amended quickly. "How's everything back home?"

"Are you sure, Kurt?" Burt asked warily.

Kurt sighed, rubbing his forehead as he quickly tried to cover his tracks. "Yeah, I'm sure…Mike dropped into town."

"I didn't know he was in you guys' neck of the woods."

"Neither did we. He picked up BJ from Volleyball today," _while we were apparently getting cleaned out_ he failed to add.

"How's Bethany doin' by the way?"

"Hey Daddy, we're ready to go to the hotel! You coming or not?" BJ yelled from the foyer.

Kurt closed his eyes. He hoped is father hadn't heard her in the background. He _was _getting older after all. Maybe the hearing WAS the first to go…

"Kurt…wanna tell me why you three are going to a hotel?"

"We're repainting?" Kurt tried.

"Kurt…" his father warned on the other end, but Matt interrupted anything his dad had to say.

"They got my watch!" came Matt's cry from the living room.

Kurt sighed.

Matt's watch had been a fourteen carat gold Rolex. Kurt had saved up during Matt's entire second year of Grad School for it, and it was the first major gift he'd ever gotten Matt, who, of course, felt like he didn't deserve it at all. Kurt had engraved it with a line from Jason Robert Brown's _The Last Five Years_. "I give you unlimited time." Normally, Matt kept it in an old paper bag under the bed after the first break-in, knowing no burglar would ever look under the bed in something so cheap-looking. The burglars probably would've missed it this time, too, except the night before, he and Matt had to attend a hospital fundraiser, and he forgot to put it back in its usual hiding place.

"WHO got Matt's watch, Kurt?" Burt demanded.

"We don't know, Dad," Kurt said.

"You guys got robbed again!" Burt erupted. "Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah, we're fine. Nobody was home when it happened."

"Oh, thank GOD," Burt breathed. His dad would've probably followed it up with some creative swearing, but as it was, he just had a coughing fit. They were fairly common-place during their conversations these days. Burt insisted it was nothing; that he was just getting old, but still, Kurt worried.

"How's Carole doing?" Kurt asked, trying to change the subject.

"She wants to talk to you," Burt said, handing the phone over to his wife. He could hear him muttering something about the recent turn of events as he handed the phone over.

"Kurt, now you know I'm not about to tell you guys what to do here, but I think it might be time to move to a city with a…slightly lower crime-rate."

"We're looking into it," Kurt said, stepping into the elevator.

"Give BJ and Matt a hug for us," she said. There was a pause as Kurt guessed his dad was telling her something else. "And Mike."

"I'm in an elevator right now, so I have to let you go. We'll call you guys tomorrow."

"You'd better, honey. Talk to you then." He hung up and pocketed the phone, glaring at Matt.

"What?" Matt said, throwing his arms up.

"That was Dad," Kurt informed him, rocking on his heels as the elevator moved. "He and Carole say hello."

Mike sighed. "And let me guess…he heard?"

"Everything. I was really hoping he wouldn't have to know about this."

"Oh man," Matt sighed, banging his forehead softly against the elevator wall.

"Luckily Dad and his flame-thrower are remaining in Ohio. But don't be surprised if your sister and everyone else in our lives call in the next fifteen minutes."

Kurt was wrong. It took five.


	24. Chapter 24

"I'm not sure _what_ it says about our friends and family when Rachel has the most rational reaction but I'm sure it's nothing good." Kurt announced with a sigh as he hung up from his call with Tina and Artie, which was surprisingly similar to his conversations with Carole, Mercedes, Finn and Santana. Shaking his head, he sat down on the ridiculously soft bed, suddenly angry all over again from being robbed of the simple luxury of not being able to sleep in his own bed. Mike swore he hadn't pulled any strings, but Kurt doubted it. A suite this nice didn't just sit empty during the summer. He glanced down at his watch. It was nearing midnight. BJ was either on the phone with her friends in the other room or watching whatever disturbing crime-based program she could find on the TV in her room. He really didn't care either way, so long as she was safe and not kidnapped by some faceless thugs.

"They're only concerned because they love us," Matt said as he rolled his eyes, quoting his sister. He didn't miss the knowing smirk Kurt wore at that comment. Clearly, Matt guessed Kurt had heard that line a time or two tonight as well. Their friends must be reading from a script. "So how many times did they ask you when we were moving?"

"I resent the implication we're that predictable."

Matt lifted an eyebrow as he leaned against the wall. They _were_ that predictable. And even if they weren't, the fact that BJ very easily could have been home when this break -in happened meant there would be nonstop pressure to move from all corners of their family. Puck had already promised to come after the persons responsible with a tire iron and a pneumatic drill. Matt was entirely sure what a pneumatic drill was, but it certainly didn't sound safe in his brother-in-law's hands.

"So that wasn't the real estate section I saw you looking at on the way over here? You weren't hiding that page so BJ wouldn't see it?"

"I may have been _browsing_ said section in terms of research for work. I certainly was not seriously looking at any particular listing." Kurt protested before catching the amused look on Matt's face. Was it a sign of just how many times they had been through this before that Matt was able to find humor in this so soon? Or did his excuse really sound that lame? "Ok I was _looking_ at it. But I wasn't going to consider anything seriously until we had a chance to talk."

"So we have the chance now." Matt reasoned. "Mike will still be in supreme apology mode tomorrow and his presence will only distract BJ for so long."

"This was a lot easier to talk about when we had already been thinking about moving anyway," Kurt groaned, burying his face in his hands. The last break-in had come at the perversely perfect time. They had already been toying with the idea of moving to be closer to Matt's job and in a location that had better schools for BJ. The last robbery was just the push they needed to actually make the decision to move. The doorman and the illusion of security were enticing bonuses. "We were supposed to be safe there." Kurt whispered softly. "It's why we picked that building. That apartment. Fourteen flights of stairs and a doorman was supposed to be safe."

"I know." Matt replied equally as soft. Kurt knew Matt was slipping into "professional" mode right now and it normally drove him crazy. Any other day he would shake Matt until his partner actually reacted to something. But right now, one of them needed to be rational, and Kurt was more than happy to let Matt take that role.

"This was worse than the other ones," Kurt continued. "The first one was scary but he didn't actually get anything from us. We just lost stuff the other times. But those few minutes when we thought she was gone?"

Kurt shuddered slightly as the feelings came flooding back. She may have wandered off in the past and scared them to death, but BJ hadn't just disappeared like that in _years_. Not once since she was old enough to understand the concept of staying where they could see her. And it had never happened under such circumstances. The sight of their ransacked home with BJ nowhere to be seen was going to haunt him long after this night became a distant memory. "I can't feel that way again."

"I know." Matt agreed, grabbing Kurt's hand in his. "And odds are this won't happen again."

"That worked better the first four times." Kurt sighed. "And I know that logically your tired reasoning is correct and that our slight tendency to move after these events is rather over-dramatic."

"Yes and no one has ever accused us of being over-dramatic." Matt fought hard to keep his lips from twitching upwards in a smile. "That's just completely ridiculous."

"Exactly," Kurt nodded, missing his partner's sarcasm entirely. "It's not that I want to think about moving again. But you and I can take a little longer to get to work and so long as the check clears, Mother McAuley doesn't really care where you live. And it's not like we actually have anything to move at this point anyway…."

"Hey." Matt said gently, squeezing Kurt's hand softly. "We don't need to make any decisions right now. Right now, let's just sleep on all that and talk about it in the morning. Tonight, we can just appreciate the fact BJ is in the next room, safe. And figure out how long we can make Mike feel completely guilty about this."

"Don't think I don't know you were playing therapist here," Kurt said as he turned out the light and crawled under the sheets. "Or that I don't realize you're trying to distract me."

"Kurt, if I was trying to distract you, I wouldn't be using words."

He couldn't help the brief burst of laughter that escaped at Matt's intentionally lame pick up line. The lop-sided grin on Matt's face let Kurt know that was exactly the result Matt was aiming for. Kurt felt a little bit of the tension of the day slip away.

It wasn't an all together bad idea to just forget for a minute or two the fear and violation he had been trying to fight all night. The important things to him were in this hotel suite. BJ was safe in her room and Matt was lying next to him, stroking his hair softly. Right now he didn't want to think about moving, police reports or anything else.

With a sly smile he pulled Matt closer to him. "Distract is a good thing." he managed to whisper before kissing his partner soundly.

"I am a big fan."

* * *

It took a solid minute before Matt could remember where he was. The bed was far too soft to be theirs. The curtains let in far too much light. Kurt would only choose this type of sheets if he were deathly ill. Even though Matt was hardly an expert in fabric, the years with Kurt had taught him what 300 Thread-Count Organic Cotton that his partner usually insisted on felt like, and this _definitely _wasn't it. That wasn't the alarm clock waking him or BJ "forgetting" to keep her music down. It was the unmistakable ring of a landline, which they didn't have. Cautiously opening one eye, Matt could make out Kurt's form next to him amid the sea of generic furnishings. _Oh that's right_, Matt remembered groggily. _Break in. Mike's hotel_. _And that would be the hotel's phone ringing._

Snaking his arm out to silence the shrill trilling, Matt tried to sit up a little without disturbing Kurt. "Hello?"

"Papa?" BJ's voice came through the line. "Good you're up."

"I am now." Matt agreed with a yawn. "Why are you calling me from the other room?"

"Because I'm downstairs with Uncle Mike. And even though I totally left you guys a note by the paper that I put outside the room to your room cause I know you guys read it while you have your coffee and whatever, he's completely paranoid. So this is me telling you in front of him that we're downstairs and we're going to leave and go get breakfast for everyone. We'll be back. Uncle Mike has his phone. Mine's still charging. So don't call the cops on him. Ok?"

"Ok." Matt agreed seeing Kurt starting to sit up out of the corner of his eye. "No taking him to where you can't go just because he's feeling guilty."

"You are no fun." BJ huffed.

"It's in the job description Bumble Bee." Matt grinned as he hung up the phone. He leaned back against the headboard as Kurt fixed a quizzical stare on him. "BJ. Mike's taking her and bringing back breakfast. You'll be thrilled to know he's paranoid."

"That's the very least he should be." Kurt huffed. At some point in the night, he had bypassed being grateful for Mike's unplanned visit and gone right back to anger. Well, maybe it was closer to annoyance, but until Mike groveled for a few more days at least, he wasn't going to let MIKE know that. Was this how Mercedes felt when they had fought? If it was anything close, Kurt suddenly understood his best friend so much better.

"You know I'm all for making him pay and taking advantage of his paranoia right now, but can we agree to at least be close to forgiving him by the time he leaves?" Matt asked.

"I won't promise anything until I see his groveling skills."

"That's probably as good as I can hope for before coffee." Matt shrugged as his phone beeped, alerting him on incoming email. He rubbed his eyes as he saw his sister had sent him a rather large attachment. "Oh you're subtle Leah" he groaned as he started to scroll through the message.

"What? What did she send?"

Wordlessly, Matt handed over his cell phone. In a message titled "In light of yesterday's events", Leah had attached the current real estate listing for the Schuesters' house in Lima. They had heard through the grapevine that their former glee coach had to lower the asking price due to a lack of serious buyers. If they didn't find a buyer soon, Kurt had heard from Mercedes, Mr. Schue was going to rent an apartment near his new school while Emma and Elliot stayed in Lima.

"What? Like you aren't thinking of moving?" Kurt read from the bottom of the message, lifting an eyebrow at Matt. "She's persistent."

Matt took back his phone, tapping out a quick "…_in Chicago_" text message answer to her. "That's one word for her. Although I can't really say I'm surprised she did it."

"One of these days you'll just have to explain to her that we have careers here. I guess technically, I could work anywhere, including Lima, if that was something we wanted to do, but it's not like you can move with no job prospects. I doubt Lima's become more liberal in it's stance on therapy for troubled kids."

"Right…." Matt answered a little guilty. If what Terry had told him was true, it had changed a little bit since they lived there.

"And it's not like you have a job offer near home. I mean you've not been looking for a job…" Kurt's voice trailed off as he noticed a slight twitching of Matt's pointer finger. He narrowed his eye to see Matt attempt to avoid his gaze. The hand thing would give his partner away every time. "Matt? There's something you want to tell me?"

"There might have been a job offer. And it might've been near Lima."

"And when was this?"

"Last month. Terry offered it to me. Said the job was mine if I ever wanted it."

The clearly much-needed discussion about why Matt hadn't even mentioned this job offer was imminent. Kurt could probably guess the reasons Matt hadn't said anything about it. But now, Matt had brought it up and they were going to discuss it.

"Tell me about it."


	25. Chapter 25

Matt was pretty sure that there were sicker people in the world. Thousands of people died of horrible diseases in germ-ridden third-world countries by the minute, but right then, at the particular moment he was pretty sure that it wasn't possible for the human body to contain that much fluid or to feel that utterly awful.

Matt felt a soothing hand rubbing small circles over his back as he finally finished dry-heaving. This was so completely humiliating. After a second, Kurt handed him a cap-full of mouthwash to help with the god-awful taste of bile.

"That's the third time tonight," Kurt said dismally as he spit into the sink.

Like Matt didn't know that.

"Matt, if you don't make a doctor's appointment by noon tomorrow, I'm making one for you." He said as he helped Matt back to the bed, which was one of the few things that the thieves were gracious enough to leave behind.

Even the feel of the 300-Thread Count Organic Cotton was too much for Matt's skin. He was too hot if he bundled up under the covers, but if he didn't keep at least four layers of blankets on top of him, he couldn't seem to stop shivering.

"But I don't want to go to the doctor," Matt whined. "Feel my forehead! I'm fine!" Even as he said it, he knew it was a lie. Mostly because he was coughing up a lung the minute his voice escalated even the slightest bit.

"You're burning up," Kurt said, looking worried as his long fingers brushed away the sweaty fringe of hair along his forehead. "Leah's going to kill me if she finds out that I let you go one more day with a temperature above a hundred without making you go to the doctor. Forget waiting until noon. I'm calling Dr. Inman first thing in the morning."

"Just promise me one thing," Matt pleaded. "I've been sick all weekend and it's not like you being here is going to make a difference one way or the other. I don't want you staying home tomorrow on my account."

"Oh please, you can barely walk in a straight line. BJ can watch the office. Anything important happens, and she can call me."

"And if BJ mouths off to one of your big accounts and you're not there to smooth things over?"

Kurt sighed. "It's either me or BJ staying home with you tomorrow, take your pick."

"I really don't think I need a babysitter. I'm not a little kid. I can take care of myself."

"Matt, do me a favor and stand up. Right this second. Just…humor me and stand up."

He did…and promptly fell face-forward on the bed.

"Point taken," he managed to croak out between coughs.

* * *

"You didn't have to come with, you know," Matt croaked as they stepped off the elevator and made their way down the hall to the doctor's office.

"Yes, I did. I had to come because I need to know which doctor's orders you are going to be directly disobeying in the very near future."

"Excuse me, WHO is the doctor here? I think I know what I can and can't live without."

"You're a PSYCHOLOGIST. There's a big difference between the exact science practiced in that office," Kurt said jerking his head towards the door. "And what you do."

Matt just shook his head. It was a sign of how bad he felt that he didn't even have the energy to come up with a good comeback for Kurt's dig.

The doctor's appointment first thing in the morning wasn't awful, Matt knew, but he hated the doctor's office. He hated everything about it. The musty smell from all the old couples sitting around he and Kurt made him want to throw up all over again.

After trying to get cell phone reception and failing, Kurt picked up a six month-old issue of _Vogue_ from the table and began thumbing through it, even though he had already seen the it due to the fact that a couple of his clients had been featured in that issue, but it was either that or _Highlights _and all the puzzles had already been filled out, so it was a lost cause.

Matt rested his head on Kurt's shoulder and ignored the dirty looks they were getting from a couple of the other waiting patients. His head was pounding and he mostly wanted to never get up again as long as he lived.

"They're going to make me take pills Kurt," Matt whined.

"Probably," Kurt deadpanned. "Actually, correction. I'M going to make you take them."

"You're cruel."

"I'm only cruel because I care," Kurt drawled, and picked up Sports Illustrated. He was about to bemoan the fact that there was no eye-candy like he hoped when the nurse called Matt's name.

* * *

According to the menacing glow of the alarm clock, it was sometime around 3AM when Matt was woken by another coughing fit. His partner had slept fitfully and as a result, Kurt hadn't gotten that much rest either, so he opted to take refuge on the couch they'd rented until their lease was up in a month.

Not even Elizabeth Hummel's Magical Chicken Noodle Soup recipe was working its spell on Matt, and Puck's recommendation of Jack Daniels just made him throw up again.

Even all the advances of technology that had occurred in the last thirty years, there was still no cure for the flu, and although the doctor had prescribed foul-tasting horse pills and codeine, it still didn't do much to curtail the symptoms. His fever came and went. Later, Kurt would blame a combination of the drugs and the fever, but the combination of the two was making Matt downright loopy.

"Kurt," Matt said in a voice that was obvious to anyone who would've heard it that he was trying to whisper, but could no more be called a whisper than Lindsay Lohan could be called sane. "Hey, Kurt?"

"Hrrrrrmmmmm?" Kurt mumbled.

"You've gotta check this out!"

"Matt…it's…" he turned his head to glance at the clock. "Reeeeally late. Can't it wait until morning?"

"But the bunnies are dancing now!"

"The…huh?"

Kurt bolted up and he didn't even have to feel Matt's forehead to know that he had a fever. Judging from the wild look in his eye and the way he was laughing at what Matt thought was apparently dancing bunnies.

Gingerly, he rolled over and turned on the light, turned the thermometer on.

"Open," he commanded. At least Matt was a lot more compliant in this state.

He placed the thermometer under Matt's tongue. "Close. And don't say anything."

He got up and moistened a new washcloth.

104. "Matt, this isn't good. If it's still this high by the morning, we're going to have to go to the ER."

"Will George Clooney be there?" Matt said dreamily. Kurt shook his head and placed the washcloth on his forehead. Matt put his hand up, and Kurt thought he was going to try and take the washcloth off, but Matt just smacked his forehead. "Oh, I am an idiot! George Clooney left years ago!"

"Hey, maybe if we're lucky we'll get Noah Wylie," Kurt said softly, playing along. "Or Shane West."

"Hey Kurt?" Matt asked as Kurt was crawling under the covers again.

"Yeah, Matt?"

"Bunnies. Still dancing. Don't think they're supposed to do that."

"They're not really there. You're just hallucinating."

It had been a good half hour since he'd taken Matt's temperature, and he knew there was only one way to fix it.

He filled a bucket with ice, and came back; Matt was not on the bed wear he left him.

"Matt?"

"Sun lights up the daaaaaaay time," Matt was singing, although that would've been a loose term for it given his laryngitis. "Mooooon lights uuuup the niiiight. I light up when you call my name, and you know I'm gonna treat you riiiight."

"Matt, BELIEVE me, I wish this were for reasons that were a lot more…entertaining," he said as he pulled Matt's favorite old OSU sweatshirt over his head. "But your fever isn't coming down by itself and I do _not_ want to make that call to Leah from the emergency room if I can help it."

"You give me FEVER!" Matt sang. It took every ounce of will-power Kurt had not to laugh.

Matt stopped signing the minute he stepped into the freezing-cold tub.

"Hey Kurt?" Matt asked again. It was obvious to Kurt that Matt was trying to whisper, but he was pretty sure that BJ probably heard it in her room across the hall.

"Wanna move back home?"

"We _are _home."

"No…Lima."

"Now I KNOW you're hallucinating. BJ would never forgive us."

* * *

It was six in the morning when Matt woke up alone.

"Kurt?" He called out.

No answer. There was a soft blue glow under the door from the television in the living room, and he threw on a bathrobe and made his way to the living room, which was more difficult than it should've been. Every muscle in his body was screaming. He was stiff from being in bed all day for _all _the wrong reasons.

He nearly tripped over the newly-replaced couch, and nearly tripped over Kurt…who was snoring. Loudly.

Kurt rarely snored, and Matt knew his partner would be horrified to learn that he ever did. The real estate section of the daily newspaper was open on top of him and Matt oh-so-carefully placed it on the coffee table and put the newly replaced throw over him, which was proving difficult because Matt was still shaky on his feet.

"Hey," Kurt whispered, sitting up.

"Sorry if I woke you."

"No more dancing bunnies?"

Matt shook his head, sitting next to Kurt on the couch, and his hand automatically touched his partner's forehead. "I think your fever finally broke."

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Matt quipped. "Sorry…the medicine's making me irritable."

"I wouldn't blame it on the medicine, General Sarcasmo" Kurt drawled, raising his eyebrow.

"It's wearing you out to play nurse for me, isn't it?"

"No." Kurt lied.

Matt just raised a questioning eyebrow and rested his head on Kurt's lap.

"But as long as we get to play doctor when you start feeling better, I don't mind," Kurt said, grinning.

Matt sighed. "I've had some time recently to re-evaluate a few things."

"Such as?"

"Your parents are getting older. You don't say anything, but I know you're always worried that you're going to get that call from Carole or Finn saying your dad's had another heart attack. I wouldn't exactly _mind _being closer to Leah, and I miss our old friends just as much as you do. Lima has a _significantly _lower crime-rate. The chances that we'd have to move again because of another break-in are fairly slim. Plus, that job-offer with Terry? Did I mention it's an _office_ _job_? With actual REGULAR HOURS? And I'd finally be doing what I got all my fancy degrees to do."

"Matt," Kurt said. "What are you saying?"

"Remember when I suggested that we move to Lima?"

Kurt nodded.

"What _do_ you think?"

"I think we left Lima for a _reason_," Kurt found himself saying despite how homesick he got from time to time. "I also think your fever is coming back."

"I know the fact that Karofsky is back in Lima…"

"And apparently breeding."

"And apparently breeding…." Matt amended, "is making this a less-than-appealing option, but we're grown men. Who have enough money to hire good attorneys if a situation gets out of hand."

"What about BJ?"

"She might disown us, but I think she'll forgive us when her cell phone bill's due. So…what do you say?"

"You know our friends will NEVER let us live this one down."

"Like that would be the first time."


	26. Chapter 26

**Ok so um this took forever cause my muse got blocked and life got busy. I am very sorry. Accept my apology?**

"So, is BJ taking the news any better?" Leah questioned, her voice a little muffled from whatever she was doing as she talked to Matt on the phone. She had said she wasn't busy when he called but knowing his sister, that could mean she was only doing two things at once instead of her usual five.

"Define better." Matt sighed as he taped shut yet another box. He hadn't thought they still had all that much stuff after the last break in, but apparently he had conviently forgotten all about the storage cage in the basement of their building. Even though Kurt denied it, Matt could have sworn he saw boxes of things he knew he had taken out to the garbage years ago. Not to mention what seemed to be everything BJ had ever owned in her entire life. Matt had thrown his hands up and left the cleaning out of the storage space entirely to Kurt after finding a box that was filled with nothing but cards BJ had received over the years. "We're getting the silent treatment right now."

"And she'll get tired of that in a few hours." Leah assured him. "And then she'll be back to yelling."

"A_ few hours_?" Matt laughed. "Lee she's not talked to us since we told her. So we're at days at this point. She's passing us notes. She carries a notebook around and just points to the page. And I haven't even told you about the sign on her door yet."

"Oh God, she put up a sign?"

"Yes and it's such a charming one. _I'm staying in here until you two quit being psychotic drama queens hell bent on ruining my life._ That's actually a hell of a lot nicer than the one it replaced."

"Do you want me to talk to her? It might help."

"Thanks for the offer but the last note she slid under her door pretty much blamed the entire family for giving us this moving idea in the first place. You don't need to deal with BJ when she's in a holy bitch of a mood." Matt sighed. "Not to mention she probably wouldn't answer the door at this point. Besides," he finished, "Burt and Carole will be here soon to help with all this. If anyone can get her talking it would be Carole at this point."

"She will be ok. She's just reeling because it's happening so fast but once she's here and she starts with the volleyball team and making friends, she'll get over it."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Well clearly you'll recommend her to a qualified therapist that doesn't work in your office." Leah pointed out. "By the way have I mentioned recently that I'm totally loving the fact you have an office?"

"Once or twice." Matt rolled his eyes. By once or twice he clearly meant once or twice every time they talked in the past month. A knock at the door caught his attention. "I think Burt and Carole are here. I'll talk to you later."

"Fine, fine. Abandon me. Who knows when I'll see you again." Leah sighed.

"Is this going to be a recurring thing? Cause if it is, we'll rethink the whole moving idea."

"Then you'll have to deal with my disappointed husband. Worse yet, _I'll_ have to deal with him and that's not good for anyone."

"We agreed a long time ago to not discuss your disgusting sex life."

"Oh go let your in-laws in before you really start getting details."

"If you weren't my sister…"

"You'd love me anyway because that's how it works. " Leah cut him off. "Talk to you soon Matty."

"Bye Lee." Matt shook his head as he hung up the phone and made his way to the door. In the middle of the night, he may still have harbored some questions about moving back home, but every time he talked to his sister, he couldn't help but agree it was the right decision. Opening the door, he smiled at Burt and Carole. "Burt _please _tell me he actually does throw stuff out because he's driving me crazy."

"Matt, you've lived with him longer than I did at this point. I never managed it." Burt shook his head. "Where is the pack rat?"

"The office, supposedly to sort out the crap from downstairs." Matt gestured over his shoulder. "But I'm pretty sure he's just going down memory lane."

"Then you know where I'll be." Burt shifted back on his heels, adjusting the still present baseball cap. "I'll see if I can at least convince him to let us take some of it back with us. That will at least speed you guys up a little."

"If you can do that, you're a miracle worker." Matt sighed as Burt moved past him and further into the apartment. Turning back to Carole, he met her sympathetic eyes. "Yeah she's still taking it as well as she did when we told her," answering her unasked question.

Carole shook her head while she reached out to pat his arm. "I'm sure she's not _that_ bad. She's still adjusting honey."

"Carole, in the past week we've heard the entire discography of both Linkin Park and Metalica and now she's moved on to what even Burt would call suicidal country. And she's on her fifth notebook of things she has to tell us while she's not speaking to either of us."

"Well I drove well over six hours to see her today, so she will talk to me." Carole shot him a wink as she moved towards the hallway. "You just let Grandma take care of this one."

'Well', BJ smirked to herself as she heard the rapping at the door, 'knocking. There was progress.' Ok, so the fact she locked her door this morning after breakfast likely had something to do with it. But still, knocking. It gave her a perverse sense of pride to know at least she could control this much about her life right now.

Lord knows there wasn't much else she had any say in.

When her dads sat her down two weeks ago to ask her about what she thought about moving, she had initially thought it was a cool idea. Sure, she would miss Barney and his never ending gossip chain, but getting away from those bitchy bitches who lived on her floor? That was an opportunity too good to pass up. She had been so caught up in the idea of a newer, bigger place in a building that didn't have the snobby McPhearson twins living down the hall, that it had actually taken her a lot longer than it should have to catch on the fact her dads weren't talking about a new apartment, but buying a house.

A real house in a real neighborhood.

And maybe if she had caught on the fact they were talking about a house and not an apartment, she might have also caught on to the fact they were talking LIMA and not Chicago or one of its various and probably low-crime suburbs.

They had to have lost their minds. It was the only explanation BJ could come up with for the completely ridiculous idea to move to Lima of all the places in the world. Sure it was fine to visit there for a few weeks every year, but she would be lying if she didn't admit to getting extremely antsy by the end of each visit. BJ didn't care how much Daddy and Papa said Lima had grown since they lived there, it was still a small town compared to Chicago. Wow Lima now had two movie theaters. There were two within walking distance of the apartment right now. There was no way Lima could compete with Chicago in terms of things to do.

Although she knew she gave the opposite impression, BJ actually _had_ listened to all those stories about going to school at McKinley and there was no way to convince her that it was a better option than Mother McCauley. Ok she wouldn't miss the whole uniform thing or being in classes with all girls and only girls but those were the only good points. They were going to make her miss out on being varisty, with a good shot at starting varsity as a sophomore? Not to mention missing an entire summer season of AAU? Ok, granted AAU was never eventful…but still, it was being taken away from her, and would she have missed it if she wasn't just told she'd just had her last summer season of AAU in Chicago? No. But was she going to tell them? Like hell. And she really didn't care how many strings Auntie M, Aunt Leah, Aunt Santana and Aunt Tina promised to pull, there was no way she would be seen as anything other than an outsider who got specialized treatment because of who her family was on McKinley's team.

To say nothing of the hell she would catch if word got out exactly how many members of the faculty she considered family. Her brief run-in with David Karofsky Jr had convinced more than just Daddy that McKinley's issues with bullies hadn't improved with time.

So as far as she was concerned, they could stand out there and knock for all eternity. Or they came to their senses. Whichever came first.

"Bethany? BJ?" The muffled voice of Grandma Carole came through the door. "Honey, open the door. I came all this way to see you and I'm not going to spend my time talking to a door."

As much as she might've wanted to, there was no way she could actually ignore Grandma Carole. BJ was pretty sure the woman had never met a stranger in her life. Everyone seemed to be her friend within seconds of meeting her. But BJ also wouldn't put it past her dads to hide behind Grandma just to try to talk to her. Grabbing her notebook, she scribbled a quick question before shoving the paper under the door.

"No your dads are not out here hiding," she said, as though she could read her mind through the door. "Honestly, Bethany, open the door. You are being a bit ridiculous right now. Your grandfather and I drove all this way to see you and I'm not spending the entire weekend talking to your door."

Slowly and more than a little embarrassed at basically being called a drama queen by her own _grandmother_ (honestly? who got that sort of treatment!), BJ unlocked the door. Sticking her head out just enough to make sure that her dads really weren't out there hiding in the hallway, she offered a small smile. She winced as her voice practically squeaked out her greeting. "Hi Grandma?"

"Don't you 'hi grandma' me," Carole scolded as she pulled the sign she had just put up last night off the door as she entered the room. "And what is this sign non-sense?"

"It's actually a lot nicer than the last one." BJ pointed out as she sat down on her still unmade bed. Her thumb and forefinger immediately began rubbing on one corner, the skull and crossbones almost rubbed translucent from the past two weeks.

"BJ. Honey." Carole sighed as she sat down next to her granddaughter. She had been all set to launch in to her award winning lecture on not being carried away and creating unnecessary drama (Kurt would vouch for it's effectiveness, but like she'd remind BJ about that) but one look at the defeated teenager staring at her feet weakened her resolve. "It will be ok. You'll see. You've always liked Lima."

"I've always liked _visiting_ Lima," BJ insisted. "I never once said I would love to live there. No offence Grandma but it's…Lima."

"I'm sure you'll find Lima has it's own charms once you get settled in. And from what I hear, there's at least two people in town who will help you discover it."

"Neil and Chia Pet? Are you kidding me? Neil's cool and yeah it would be great to see him all the time. But _Chia Pet_? Ugh. No. It's because of _his_ family's this is happening in the first place."

"Actually, sweetie, the fact that your father was offered a job by Chase's father was only a minor part of the decision to move. I'm sure you will feel differently once you get there and you start making friends."

"Friends? I'm not going to make friends Grandma. The kids here think I'm a freak, except the ones on my volleyball team. And once I get to Lima, I won't see them. Plus once the kids there find out just how large and crazy my family tree is? I won't have friends there either. I'll be some strange teacher's pet because I'm related to half the teachers!"

"Sweetheart, I think you're being a bit dramatic." Carole tried to keep the smile off her face. Raising three teenagers had taught her one thing. It was certainly all right to point out they were overdramatic, but don't ever let them catch you finding it amusing. "Not all the kids will hate you or find you a freak. Some will probably like you. The same ratio of kids who like you here, I'd imagine. And as for the whole being related to the staff thing, you are not the first child to go through McKinley to face that issue and you won't be the last."

Biting her lower lip, BJ brought her knees up her chin. Crossing her arms in front of her, her hair fell in front of her face. "Even if you're right I still don't understand why it has to happen so fast. Or at all."

"Come here." Carole held open her arms and gestured for BJ to come closer. The teenager tried to resist the call for a few minutes but gave up after the second time Carole cocked her head and gave her the "come on, for your grandmother" smile. Once the girl was close enough, Carole pulled her into her arms, laying her down in her lap. With a soft smile she ran her fingers through BJ's hair. "I know you don't understand all of this right now. And I know you hate this. But this is a good thing. For everyone. We'll get to see you more often. Your dads will work more regular hours. You'll get to go to a school that doesn't make you wear a uniform unless you play a sport."

"Ok that part I like." BJ muttered.

"I thought so. You've got to give it a chance honey. I know change is scary but you haven't been afraid of anything since you learned to walk. " Seeing BJ shrug one of her shoulders upwards, Carole sighed. She would have to apologize to Kurt later but she needed to get BJ out of this room by any means necessary. "Of course there is the fact that you'll be able to actually decorate your room the way you've always wanted to."

Now that _caught_ BJ's attention. She started to sit up, questions in reflected in her blue eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"Well your cousin Burt mentioned a while back that you really wanted to paint your room black. And you really couldn't here because it was too hard for the landlord to paint over if you ever move."

"But we won't have a landlord in Lima." BJ said slowly.

"No. It's your house and I'm pretty sure your dads have mentioned to me about you getting to do whatever you want to your room." They had said that, she was just leaving off the part where they added _within reason_. She would just have to convince Kurt that an all black bedroom was better than a pet snake in the house.

"They _did_ say that didn't they?" BJ tilted her head to the side. "I may be persuaded to at least consider giving this moving nonsense some consideration after all."

Carole leaned over and kissed the girl's forehead. "That's my girl."


	27. Chapter 27

**Please contain your shock that this is finally updated. But you know we had to do something with no Glee tonight right?**

"As usual, you're missing out!" Leah informed her brother on the phone.

"Oh come on, Leah," Matt teased. "You wouldn't be on the phone with me if I was actually _missing_ something."

"This isn't exactly what I'd call being supportive of Kurt," Leah pointed out.

"Oh come on! BJ and I have seen the dresses more than we've actually seen Kurt lately. And besides, I really, REALLY need a quiet night at home."

That was mostly true. He adored his friends and family and he was certain they'd made the right decision to move back to Lima, but between standing invites for Sunday night dinner at the Changs, Friday night dinner at the Hummel's, game night on Wednesdays (which everyone pretty much insisted it be resumed before they even had proper furniture), and one very awkward dinner with Rachel's dads upon Rachel's insistence, Kurt and Matt rarely had a night to themselves. He'd been looking forward to a quiet night of crime dramas and catching up reading case files from the guy Matt replaced at Terry's office, but Leah, being Leah, sent him texts every five minutes.

Which is why he was tempted to hang up on Leah when she called.

"Turn on the TV! Turn on the TV!" she squealed.

"Leah, do you need me to pick you up? I know you guys are probably playing some drinking game right about now, and there's no shortage of the camera panning on random people not in any way connected to the award they are presenting."

"Oh good one, Matty!" Leah said, and then, not bothering to "Hey GUYS! MATT HAS ANOTHER ONE! TAKE A SHOT EVERY TIME THEY PAN ON SOME RANDOM DUDE FOR SOMETHING THEY'RE NOT CONNECTED TO!"

Matt held the phone away from his ear. "Seriously, Leah…you need me to pick you up?"

"No…Tina said I could crash here. But seriously! Turn the TV on! It's your man behind a Baldwin Brother!"

"A what?"

"Ohhhhh...wait…never mind," Leah said. "Igottagobye!" She said as fast as she could manage to get out.

Now curiosity had gotten the better of him.

Matt turned the TV on.

He had to ask BJ what channel the Emmys were even on. He didn't know who the Baldwin Brothers were, but there was Patrick Stewart talking to some vapid blonde with a microphone…and…behind him, there was Kurt.

Chatting it up with Austin Brooks.

Old _boyfriend_ Austin Brooks.

Logically, he knew that there wasn't anything to worry about. After all, Kurt had been in the fashion industry for a long time, and there was no shortage of gay guys hitting on him, and although he trusted Kurt, those douche bags Kurt worked with? Not so much.

But still, there was a little voice inside his head that told him that he SHOULD be worrying this time. Kurt and Austin had a history. Austin was a good guy, and he HAD been jealous of Austin before, even though Matt didn't really have a right to be because they weren't dating at the time. But now…he DID have a right to be jealous.

But still, the Little Green Monster was taking over in very short order, and it was all Matt could do to not jump in the car, go to the airport, get the first flight out to LA and drag Kurt home cave-man style.

He tried to get back to the case files and the crime dramas, but it was no use.

He hated award shows, but Matt resigned himself to watching that years' Emmy's to completion, just so he'd know when they were done so he could finally call Kurt.

* * *

Los Angeles was a fabulous city if one could ignore the fact that it was pretty much everything bad about humanity.

Exhausted, he opened the door to his hotel suite and collapsed on the bed. As long as he'd been in the business, he'd dealt with people who were shallow and entitled. Today was no exception. When he first started in the industry, he was star-struck and just wanted to scratch off as many celebrities off of his People I've Met list as he could, but then he realized that they weren't all that and a bag of chips that they appeared to be. Comedians who'd made him laugh for years were horribly moody and depressed. Some of the Rom-Com queens of his youth were just…completely boring people. The truth of the matter was, only a couple of them were people he'd voluntarily spend time with outside of what was required for his job. No matter how nice they seemed, ALL of them had to have the _perfect _thing for each award show, and ALL of them were pretty sure they knew what looked good on them better than HE did.

Most of the time, however, Kurt loved his job, and awards season, as far as he was concerned, was better than Christmas. Matt, BJ, and everyone else in his life knew that from six weeks following the Emmys to Oscar Night, his soul belonged to the celebrities whose garments he designed. Right now, though, with what few belongings were still left after the burglary still in boxes after the move and BJ still having what Matt diagnosed as adjustment issues (he wasn't sure, but when he left for the airport, he thought he counted five filled notebooks in her new—dear Gaga—jet-black room, and the sixth one was already three-quarters of the way full when she finally figured out that a plan to move back to Chicago was not immediately in place).

He knew they'd made the right decision, and he and Matt explained their reasons over and over again, but the only way he could get her to actually use words again was to promise to replace the drum set that got stolen as soon as he got back.

As if he needed ANOTHER headache. His life, at the moment, had a lot of them. Kurt and life were not currently on speaking terms at the moment. His daughter still wasn't speaking to him, the house was STILL not unpacked or even remotely suitably furnished, and he still hadn't found a new office. It was almost to the point where he was considering working from home, but it was hard enough leaving work at work for him, and if he didn't have an office, he'd never be off the clock.

The big upset of the night, as far as he was concerned, was not the fact that a soap opera produced by Paris Hilton won over the latest stroke of genius penned by Aaron Sorkin, but the fact that his ex-boyfriend Austin Brooks was announced as winner of Best Original Song.

And of course since most of the Lima Contingent was gathered at the Artie and Tina's place for the Emmy Award's party, Kurt was pretty sure that Matt was aware of that fact.

So when the sounds of _Wild Horses _sounded from his cell phone, Kurt wasn't entirely surprised and braced himself for the inevitable.

"Hey," Kurt said yawning as he put Matt on speakerphone, since the energy to even hold the phone up to his ear left his body a long time ago.

"How was the award show?"

"Oh you know, same ol' same ol'. Average-looking guys made jokes about themselves looking good against gorgeous actresses, a lot of people won who didn't deserve to, and I'm so tired I can't even see straight. How's BJ?"

"On her seventh notebook."

Matt could practically see Kurt rubbing his temple. "I think it's seriously time to consider looking into the whole gypsy thing."

"You miss her and you know it."

Matt could practically hear him smiling on the phone.

"Oh, by the way, saw you on the red carpet tonight," Matt said as conversationally as possible.

"About that, I can explain! Austin…"

"Kurt, I didn't know Austin composed, but seeing as you work in Award Show circles and if Austin was up for one, it wouldn't be that out-there for you two to run into each other."

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? I trust you."

"You sure you're not mad?"

"Yep," Matt replied. "See you at the airport tomorrow afternoon?"

"See you then."

Matt wasn't jealous. Kurt should've been relieved, but for some reason that Kurt couldn't exactly pinpoint, he wasn't.

He almost called Matt back. Why was Matt watching the award-show anyway? If he knew Matt, he would've rather watched reruns of some real-crime drama on TV rather than an award show, but he was interrupted by the introductory notes of _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun._

"I SAW YOU ON TV!" his sister-in-law shouted at him over the phone. "YOU WERE BEHIND A BALDWIN BROTHER!"

"I was behind a lot of people tonight," Kurt said.

Leah just giggled. "You perv. I just called because I have to say something. Now, listen very carefully because this is VERY important. My brother is the lamest person on the PLANET!"

"Leah, how much have you had to drink tonight?" Kurt asked warily.

"We may or may not have been having an Emmy party at Artina's house tonight. I wouldn't do the whole name-mash-up thing, but syllables are SO HARD right now."

"Please tell me you have a ride home."

"BETTER! I have a room here!"

"Well, that's good…I'm exhausted, so I'm gonna say goodnight now."

"Nonono, wait, Kurt…I have to tell you WHY Matty's the lamest person on the planet."

"Because his entire wardrobe comes from the sales rack at Target and his idea of fashion-forward is Kathy Ireland?"

"Kurt you're funny," she informed her brother-in-law through a fit of giggles. "But that's not why. Matt's lame because you know there was a time he'd practically turn green at the mention of Austin's name in college because he was so into you but he wouldn't admit it, but now?"

"Austin was a long time ago," Kurt reminded her softly.

"Yeah, but how many people are FINE with an ex running into the person they're currently with? I mean, for crying out LOUD, Kurt, I thought I'd get to have my fun tonight when I saw you guys, but nooooooo, Matty has to be a stick in the mud and won't let me have my fun. Has to be all mature and psychology about it."

"Because yes, Matt's entire purpose in life is to entertain you," Kurt said, but inwardly his mind was reeling. He and his drunken sister-in-law were on the same page. "I'll see you when I get home tomorrow, Leah," he said. Telling her goodnight, he hung up the phone, feeling completely ridiculous.

On one level, the fact that Leah's intoxicated brain was coming to the same conclusion as his was couldn't be a good sign.

But on the other hand, if he wasn't the only one seeing a problem there, maybe the problem WAS real.

Maybe he should stop obsessing that Matt wasn't worried about other men trying to come between them, because clearly in the light of day, this would seem absolutely, completely ridiculous.

But at that particular moment he didn't care.


	28. Chapter 28

"Wow. You really did paint it black."

Letting out a startled yelp, BJ jumped in the air before turning to see Neil standing in her doorway, an impressed smile on his face. Taking her noise as an invitation to come in, he made his way further into her room, taking in all the changes since he saw it on the day she moved in. He nodded at some of her furniture, wrinkled his nose at her choice in posters and tilted his head in confusion at her bed. "Ok do you actually have a bed under that mountain of pillows? And how are you the least girlie girl in the entire world but you have more pillows than an opium den?"

"If you know of an opium den that has skull pillows as awesome as these? Then send me the address. And what are you doing here? There's allegedly a very strict no guys on the second floor policy in place."

"Darling we both know I'm going to be the exception to that rule." Neil laughed as he flopped back into her just arranged pile of pillows at the head of her bed. "Ok. I take back anything I said about this being over the top to the point of tacky. This is way too comfortable and I think I'll just move in."

"You never said anything about it being almost tacky."

"Not out loud." Neil shrugged.

Reaching down, she felt a pair of socks that hadn't yet made their way into the appropriate drawer and threw it at Neil. BJ fell into giggles as since Neil had his eyes closed, the socks nailed him right between his eyes. She started to laugh harder when he fumbled around for a pillow to throw back at her and only succeeded in hitting his own feet.

From the very first minute she had met Neil Lei in Papa B's kitchen, she had known they were going to get along. By the time she had gone back to Chicago (land of sanity that one day soon she was so going to get her parents to see reason about and move them back where they belonged), BJ had decided they were going to be best friends. There wasn't any specific action or conversation they had that led her to believe that; just a deep and unshakable sense that Neil Lei just somehow understood her and she understood him. It had been instant and if she believed in the crap those girlie books the other girls in her old school read, she would likely say it was fate. But since that was just a ridiculous thought, all she was going to say was seeing Neil every day was the only good thing about moving to Lima that she could come up with. (Seeing the rest of her family more was on the list until the move happened and she realized she was seeing her family every single day. There was no escape now. So that was off the list entirely.)

"Just keep laughing at me." Neil said as he nodded sagely. "And I will leave and not take you to the most important social occasion of the summer."

"Which would be what, exactly? The Dairy Queen patio opening?"

"Slumber party. My house. Sleep is optional. Music is not since the majority of my social circle is in glee so bring the least depressing death metal or country stuff you have. There will be a dance off."

"You've met my drama queen fathers," she said, shaking her head. "No way will they allow me to go to a co-ed sleepover."

"The only guy who will be there is me. And we've already established that we both know your dads recognize me as the exception to the rule," Neil pointed out.

She had to admit that he had a point there. Given what she knew about how often Auntie M spent at Daddy's house in high school, it was very unlikely either one of them would object to her attending a sleepover where the only guy was her gay best friend. She could completely own them on that point if they even _tried_ it.

"You're the only one in that club I really know. It would be beyond awkward and I don't sing so I won't be joining. So I should just sit this one out."

"You aren't going to get back to Chicago sitting in your room and driving the parentals crazy. I think they're immune to you by now, anyway. And so what if you don't sing? Trust me. Jenna can sing enough for the both of us. And Ms. Lopez told us even some of the original members never actually sang much. But I know you drum. And it just so happens drums are like the one instrument Chase Parker can't play. He'll try but believe me, he can't. We can help you get behind the set, and drive him crazy all year long. You also dance. So you're a shoe-in," Neil smirked before pulling at her streaks. "Plus E? She's almost pro level with doing hair. If you wanted to change your streaks, she'd totally be up for it."

"I have been thinking purple was getting a little old," BJ smiled, nodding her head. "How do you think I would look with green streaks?"

"Like a Christmas present. I was thinking blue."

"Blue. I like it."

"Get your stuff together and ask. We have to hit the beauty supply store before we go to my place."

* * *

"Just so I'm clear, is there a _particular_ reason you're pissed at me?" Matt asked carefully, one eye on the folder in his hand and the other on Kurt as he scrolled through some page or another on his laptop.

"I am not mad at you. I'm mad at these idiots who honestly think putting Sandra Bullock in red. RED! A total non-decision with her coloring really, is somehow _a bold and daring fashion-forward move_. Do these fashion bloggers not pay attention to her looks over the entirety of her career?" Kurt threw up his hands before closing the laptop with a definitive click.

"I don't doubt for a second you're mad at everyone who didn't recognize your genius and know that your clients were best-dressed," Matt tried to keep his voice calm. This had been going on since he picked Kurt up from the airport this morning. Clearly he was mad about something, and now that BJ was out of the house voluntarily for the first time since the move, Matt was going to find out. "But when it's just the press, you still talk to me. You haven't said more than five words to me since we got back from the airport."

"I have not."

"Did you miss that look BJ shot us when she left with Neil? _She_ knew something was up. And considering the funk she's been in since we moved, that's saying something."

"I'm not mad at you." Kurt repeated, rubbing the spot above his eyebrow that suddenly began to twitch. And honestly, he wasn't mad at Matt. In fact, feeling annoyed at him seemed even more ridiculous now than it did last night. If Matt had actually been jealous and petty, he would have been angry about not being trusted. Maybe he really was a diva who could never be satisfied. If he was mad at anyone, it was himself. But hell if he was going to admit that.

"You're certainly giving a convincing performance that you are."

"It was just a long night last night."

Matt looked up from his case notes at that point, his eyebrows raised. "I thought you were at the hotel when we talked?"

And apparently _there_ was the jealousy he had been looking for last night. "I was. But someone's sister decided to drunk-dial me after we talked. I hope she has the mother of all hangovers and no cures in the house."

"I should have warned you about her." Matt groaned. "She was drunk when she called me during the pre-show thing. She probably doesn't even realize she called you last night."

"I doubt she does. But hopefully she threw up on those ugly loafers she insists on wearing. You know I think she's the one who introduced BJ to those Croc…_things_."

"I'm sure if it wasn't the shoes it was something at Tina and Artie's place you hate. Did she call for a particular reason or was it an accident? Cause Leah's good for both."

"Considering she wanted to talk about how you were the least fun person ever for not having a jealous fit over me running into Austin, I'll go with she meant to call me."

"I'm so glad my apparent purpose in life is to amuse her." Matt shook his head as he grabbed for his cell phone on the end table next to him. "Normally I'd be nice to her considering she's probably still hung over but I don't really feel like it today."

"Matt? What are you….Matt don't call her." Kurt protested as he saw Matt start to dial the familiar number. Great, now he was dragging Leah into his ridiculous issue. He knew so many other people in the industry whose relationships were destroyed over petty jealousies over things that were so tiny and insignificant in retrospect. He _knew _Matt trusted him. Ok it was a little strange he had no reaction to Austin last night, but Kurt hadn't seen him since the day they ended things outside of Austin's apartment. And it wasn't like he saw Austin constantly when he was out in LA for work. It was a onetime thing. Why was he so hung up on the non-reaction he would have wanted if Matt had blown up about it?

"Leah." Matt said rather loudly, a self-satisfied smile on his face. He loved his sister. He did. But if she got to call him drunk, he got to call her while she was hung over. Fair was fair after all. "You. You are in trouble missy. Drunk dialing at your age. What would your students say?"

"Tell me I didn't call you." Leah groaned.

"Not just me. You apparently called Kurt too and said something about Austin because he's been in a mood since he got home."

"How do you know this is about Austin?" Kurt asked as Leah groaned again.

"She said I was the least fun person ever? That's what she told me when I refused to freak out because she called me when the two of you were on the red carpet."

So that was how Matt had even decided to watch the awards last night, Kurt mused as he raised an eyebrow. He had assumed as much but it was nice to have confirmation. Matt handed over the phone with a grin.

"You hate me don't you Superstar?"

"I wouldn't say hate."

"I am so sorry. I don't even know what I said last night. Clearly I was out of my mind and not thinking. I'm blaming too many years spent with my husband. If I tried to say that Matt was a jealous idiot, well he's an idiot but he's not jealous anymore. He befriended Austin and I called him a moron for it years ago. I'm so so sorry if I started a fight because I hate it when you two fight."

"We're not fighting. And I'm always agreeable to any plan that involves blaming Puck." Kurt sighed. And now he felt like an even bigger idiot than he did before. It was just too much time spent in LA, especially so soon after the move. They had barely spent more than ten minutes alone together and here their daughter actually decided to give them an entire night to themselves and he was talking to Leah on the phone. His idiocy was truly astounding.

"Good. I'll tell him when he gets back with dinner. I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"Highly likely. Goodnight Leah."

"Night Kurt."

Matt looked over with a wary look on his face as Kurt ended the call. "So we aren't fighting? You're not mad and it was all because of Leah's drunk dialing?"

"We're not fighting. I'm not mad at you. And it's not all Leah's drunk dialing but add that to the move, looking for my new office, my admittedly high level of irritability during awards season and BJ being BJ…." Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "I was being a bitch and taking it out on you. I'm sorry."

"I'm sure I haven't been a picnic lately either." Matt admitted softly. "Seems like we keep missing each other during the day. This may be the longest stretch of time we've spent together since Chicago."

"I think you're right. We're going to have to work on that."

"That we are" Matt tilted his head to the side, his eyes sparking the way they did when certain facts made themselves plain to him. "You know most of our friends and family were at that party Leah got so wasted at. And she's generally the last person to get really wasted."

"So they are probably all laying low tonight." Kurt said slowly. "And BJ just left for the entire night."

"That she did."

"An entire night with this huge house all to ourselves." Kurt shook his head. "How are we going to spend the time?"

"I have a couple of suggestions."

"I'm all ears."


	29. Chapter 29

**I know there is absolutely no excuse for our neglect. There isn't. So I won't make them (except to blame the muse as always), hang my head in shame, post this and hope you'll forgive.**

It wasn't like BJ had never been here before. She was here just a few months ago for Uncle Will's retirement concert, and she'd visited a couple of times since then, picking Aunt Leah, Auntie M or Aunt Tina up from work whenever Papa and Daddy came to visit for lunch. She'd been here at least once a year whenever her parents came home, so the halls of William McKinley High School were familiar grounds, but she'd never been here when the halls were so, well…crowded.

Never, during any of those times that she visited, did she think she'd actually be a student here. Getting up at 6:30 most mornings and heading to the field bright and early for practices for a month was bad enough, but the fact that her honorary aunts had to pull a lot of favors to even allow Coach Braylen to let her try out at all was NOT helping her popularity with her teammates.

So by the time the first day of school came around, her usual coping mechanism of keeping her head down and not standing out wasn't working so well. And Dave Karofsky, Jr. had already hit on her once.

"You," a blonde in a McKinley Cheerio uniform barked at her.

"Look. I've been here all of fifteen minutes," BJ said with a harassed sigh. "I don't see HOW I could've possibly pissed anyone off yet."

"Dave's mine," she said. "And everybody knows it. So hands off!"

"What the hell?" BJ said, starting to walk away, but the girl and her friends blocked her path.

"Consider this a warning, New Kid," One of them said. "We heard about Karofsky hitting on you when Nude Erections had their little reunion concert."

"Oh please, at least you people could be original. Do you know I've been hearing it called that since I was like, two?"

"Yeah, well, Dave can't have her because she's taken, Marjorie," Neil said, draping his arm around her. "So you don't have anything to worry about, okay? Bug off!"

"Well, well, well, Lei," a girl who could've passed for Aunt Britt's stunt double said. "Looks like someone finally got a beard!"

"I was taking care of myself just _fine_," BJ mumbled under her breath, but Neil just tightened his grip.

"Come on, dumpling," he said. "We'll be late for class."

"DUMPLING? Ok, you fail as a boyfriend. We are officially broken up."

"Aaaaw, schnookums!"

"Look, Muffy…" BJ began, ignoring Neil.

"That's MARJORIE."

"Whatever. Same diff. You and Dave deserve each other, as far as I'm concerned. Congratulations to you both. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to get to class."

"I can't believe you already pissed off Marjorie Barrington," Neil said. "And to think, you've only been here fifteen minutes! I think that's some kind of record!"

"You really didn't have to pull the knight in shining armor act, Neil," BJ said, rummaging through her backpack. She pulled out a picture of the Chicago skyline as the homeroom bell began to ring.

"You're still homesick, aren't you?" Neil asked.

BJ shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I'm stuck in this Podunk little town for the next three years whether I like it or not."

"You'll get used to it," he said. "Just give it some time."

"Yeah, well, that's what Grandma said to Daddy about my black room, and he still tapes color chips up on the wall as subtle hints."

"Hey, at least he let you keep the purple hair without much complaint."

"Come on, _Dumpling_," she said, narrowing her eyes. "We'll be late for the first day of class.

It had taken the rest of the summer, but Kurt was FINALLY settled into his new office. Hammering in the last nail of the 'Kurt Hummel Designs' sign on the white picket fence that surrounded the Victorian-style house, he felt like Julia Sugarbaker from _Designing Women_, but Happy Endings, the senior citizen's day center that shared the front half of the house, made him feel like he was forever trapped in an episode of the _Golden Girls_.

His senses were constantly assaulted by the wardrobes of the little old couples who insisted on sitting on the front porch wearing high-wasted pleated pants with…dear GAGA.._elastic_ waistbands and polyester double-knitted pants. The wicker furniture was bad enough, but not nearly as offensive as the sickeningly sweet smell of jasmine that assaulted his nose every time he ventured outside or forgot and opened a window.

"Mr. Hummel, are you busy?" a lady Kurt only knew only as "Neon Mumu that should have a radioactive warning on it," came waddling towards him. Her walker clunked against the cracked cement of the sidewalk.

Kurt sighed and nodded. He could run from her, but that would be cruel.

"You remember me, don't you?" she rasped out. She reminded Kurt of that old grandmother on _The Nanny_.

Kurt nodded again, glad that she didn't ask for conformation.

"Sorry to be a bother, but I was wondering…do you like dogs?"

"What?"

"I don't know why, but you've always struck me as a dog person, and I just thought…anyway, my Edgar was throwing away Mildred Feinstein's tuna bake because it smelled up the whole place like crazy, and we couldn't throw it out in the trash 'cause then she'd get offended and we'd be paying for it for the rest of our lives, I know, at our age, that's not that long, but why put yourself in harm's way, right? So anyway, Edgar goes out to the dumpster and he sees something moving in the garbage. He thought maybe it was a raccoon, but..."

"Um, sorry, but if something's been in the dumpster I don't think…"

"Nonesense! He'll be cleaned up, just as soon as you can manage to get him out of there, and he's good as new!"

"He?"

"Me and some of the girls thought…well…since your business is new and you don't have that many customers yet, you might at least be able to take him to the shelter?"

"Ma'am, I'm wearing a vintage Armani suit, and _trust_ me, I've been tossed in enough dumpsters to know you don't really _ever_ get the smell out."

"The trash collector comes at three and it's in just an hour, and if he gets caught up in there, they'll crush the poor little thing and I just can't…but…it _is_ an awfully nice suit."

"_He_ could be covered in disease."

"Fleas and ticks is more like it. But, if you don't want to mess that suit up…"

Kurt rolled his eyes.

Never in a million years did he think he'd be going into a dumpster voluntarily, but seconds later, he found himself asking Neon Mumu Lady and apparently Mildred going to find a large orderly Kurt had only met in passing.

"Buzz, help Mr. Hummel here in the dumpster, would you?" Neon Mumu Lady asked.

"Ethel, have you taken all your meds today?" Buzz asked looking from Kurt to Neon Mumu Lady and back to Kurt again.

"No, Buzz, it's okay…there's apparently a dog in the dumpster. We should get it out before the trash collector comes."

"Whenever you're ready," Buzz said.

"Wait!" Kurt said. And he took off his shoes and jacket. "I am NOT losing my jacket or my shoes to…"

With an "oof!" Kurt landed stomach-first in the dumpster, and something whined near-by.

"Dear GOD what is that thing?"

It was so filthy that he couldn't tell for sure if this was a dog or a rat. Only the massive pink tongue that insisted on licking his face.

He managed to scramble up to his feet with the dog.

"Hey Buzz!" Kurt hollered. "Take it! Take it take it take it take it!"

"Such a cute little thing," one of the old ladies said as Kurt hoisted himself out of the dumpster.

"Cute! That flea-bag?" the other old lady said. Kurt got his shoes and his jacket.

"Um, what are we gonna do with the damn dog?" Buzz asked.

"Do you guys have liquid detergent or something like that?"

Buzz nodded. "But we can't clean him up in the kitchen sink. My boss will throw a hissy-fit."

"Well I'm not cleaning him up in MY bathroom sink. What if customers came in?"

"You were expecting maybe an afternoon rush?" Neon Mumu Lady asked him.

An hour and three baths later, the dog (whom Kurt had christened Monty), proved to be a brown and white ball of fluff with two black rings around his eyes and the biggest tongue Kurt had ever seen.

It was still a school day, so he couldn't really call his girls. He hated the thought of calling Puck…but…times and measures being what they were, he was desperate.

"Yo! Tinkerbelle! What's up?"

"Puckerman, look, I'm going to let that go because I'm kind of…NO! NOT THE $800 PERSIAN SILK! BAD MONTY!"

"Dude! If you're playin' around on my boy, I am TOTALLY not down with that."

"No, no, no, Monty's not an actual _person_. Why am I even telling you this? I am NOT about to justify my actions to someone whose hobbies in the Thunder Clap included, and I quote, 'boffing Cougars.'"

"Look man, you obviously called me for a reason, and it wasn't to rag on me…soooo…"

"Do you know any vets?"

"I know a couple of Vietnam vets and one Desert Storm vet. Dude's really messed up though. Kinda sad…"

"No, not VETERANS. Actual you know…vets. Animal doctors."

"Oh, dude! You could've just straight-up asked, you know?"

"Just give me the number," Kurt snapped.

"You sure you can handle the stress of a new addition to the family, man? You seem a little…stressed?"

"Puck!"

"Okay, okay. Just so happens, my sister works the counter at a vet's office. I'll tell Sarah to give you the hook-up."

"At least the _female_ members of the Puckerman family are helpful" Kurt muttered not entirely under his breath.

"You know I could text Leah and tell her you're hanging with a dude named Monte." Puck pointed out. "Your call."

"I regret every day I ever taught you the dance to Single Ladies."

"Only because I did it better than you. Now find a pen Hummel and write this down. Some of us have work to do."


End file.
